To hate the fact that I am probably seen as this ?

[LilacRain12]

Vanilla, beige and innocent are the two words used to describe the monster who I cannot name as she sickens me too much. But I can't help but feel embarrassed and sad that some of the words used to describe her, also describe me. As people would definitely describe me as those first three things as well as quiet, nervous etc. Just feeds into the stereotype of those with character traits like that secretly being warped and odd. I also spend a lot of time with my parents, am seen as a lot younger than my age (late thirties) and some have described me as childlike. I also do a similar job role. Not sure why I am posting. Just feel paranoid as to how others see me and wish I could be a more outgoing character so people would see me in a better light.

The words used to describe her are always accompanied with shock as her actions were against the stereotype those words conjure up though. No one thought she was odd, which is the reason for the shock. Im sure no one thinks you're odd either. There are actually far fewer outgoing people than quieter ones. It's just the first group are more visible.

No words for this post really other than how you have made that about you is remarkable. My user name would be apt for you.

Nobody associates being vanilla/beige with being a serial killer. That's why it's so shocking

Talk about me, me, me.

That's unnecessarily cruel. I imagine there are a fair few nurses feeling unnerved and vulnerable at the moment. OP I do think people realise that LL is a vanishingly rare anomaly. That's why she's such big news.

OP, don’t make this about you. It doesn’t look good.

There is nothing wrong in coming across as innocent or a bit plain either. But I can promise you, no one thinks about you as much as you think about you. So stop overthinking about how you are perceived.

Those traits are only mentioned because that's what made it so unusual. It would be less of a story if everyone had known she was odd and a psychopath, she also would been caught sooner.

What a weird post. Who watches the awful tragic story unfold and think like Op. Millions of words are used to describe mlions of people. Nobody bar Op sits there, comparing words used to describe a killer to words they think might be applied to them too. On top of that Op is now concerned people might say "Op's vanilla too.. She might be a murderer". Very strange and in extremely bad taste.

I think you need to give your head a good shake and not make it about you.

Unless you’re also a serial killer then it’s not relevant op

To be honest, the forced commentary about this nurse is just a bit pathetic. It’s like the news programmes need to fill the time to talk about her because they haven’t done enough research on her case. So they use words like vanilla and beige. Which serial killer walks around with serial killer written on their forehead wanting to draw attention to themselves. The standard of news reporting gets worse and worse all the time.

This is a very strange reaction.

Without being rude op your focus should be on the victims not this , what a strange train of thought to have

Why do you honestly think people are bothered by you. You're probably insignificant to them.

This. Seriously, OP? You interpret this horrible crime as a commentary on other people perceiving you as boring?

I mean, by all means, move to an ashram, go sky-diving, have an affair with someone with a leather fetish, but don't make this about you.

OP I can understand, if you are from a ‘peer group’ so to speak of this person, you might be feeling more than a little unnerved at the moment. We also tend to perceive environments like our work place as safe and secure, or at least we want to, and it’s unsettling when something happens to shake that perception.

When someone is convicted of an infamous crime, there is a tendency to list everything ‘weird’ and ‘wrong’ in their earlier behaviour as a sort of othering exercise- we want to prove to ourselves that they are an outlier and humanity in general is still ok. Unfortunately sometimes we can take this othering process a bit too far and start pathologizing relatively common characteristics such as seeming young for your age, that could easily be irrelevant. Of course that will feel even more unsettling for you if you are already in a peer group with that person and then normal characteristics that you happen share are held up as somehow part of the problem.

I think the best thing to do is to take all of the commentary with a pinch of salt. It’s unclear what positive purpose it serves and we are not good collectively at knowing when to stop. But nobody actually intends to cast aspersions on other nurses or other quiet people per se, they just aren’t thinking about that.

My guess OP would be that you are the way you are because you have ASD or are ND. She on the other hand is the way she is because she has a personality disorder whether narcissistic or psychopathic or both. There is no comparison between the two of you.

My advice would be to start appreciating and enjoying who you are. You'd never do something like this, you are a good person who wouldn't treat people badly, as someone who is vanilla/quiet you're a good listener, a deep thinker and enjoy your own company.

Try putting positive words to your personality traits rather than viewing them in a negative light and don't let other people decide your worth.

In relation to your thread title OP, I mean this kindly; you are probably not "seen as this", it may not even be any form of fact never mind "the fact", and it is a shame for you that you are having to "hate" it.

It sounds like you are insecure and critically self-reflective. You are projecting your underlying beliefs about yourself on to others, imagining that they will perceive you as you do.

Try to notice and question and challenge all the negative things you tell yourself about yourself.

This case is bad enough without posters starting threads like this one. It's not about you, OP, and how you are perceived by others, it's about a warped, sinister, evil serial killer who didn't look like one on a Netflix horror movie.

Save your concerns for the bereaved families.

🙄

I agree with a PP that you sound autistic…I am too so it’s very easy to recognise it in others. I don’t watch the news because of my sensitive nature (yes I see the eye rolls and don’t care!) so I don’t know much about this case.

I tend to be a bit egocentric too…it’s the nature of autism. Honestly, no one is thinking that you’re a psychopath x

If you're not a serial killer then you've got nothing to worry about. I immediately am not going to look at every nurse and think the same.

I honestly don't know how you can guarantee that someone you hire isn't evil. A lot of mistakes were made in letting it go on but ultimately the fault was in her, she could have been any type of person.

I think these words were used because they made her murderous acts seem so unexpected, rather than the reverse. It's not that people associate quiet, innocent-looking people with violent crimes; but that they don't, so when it does happen, it's even more of a shock.

The last post was not intended to be in large print and bold; apologies; have reported it.

You sound like you have social anxiety. Most people come across as pretty average, beige, whatever you call it. People are just making the point that she isn't an obvious monster, she doesn't have criminal track record or tattoos over her face or a history of getting into guess etc.