To hate the fact that I am probably seen as this ?

[LilacRain12]

Vanilla, beige and innocent are the two words used to describe the monster who I cannot name as she sickens me too much. But I can't help but feel embarrassed and sad that some of the words used to describe her, also describe me. As people would definitely describe me as those first three things as well as quiet, nervous etc. Just feeds into the stereotype of those with character traits like that secretly being warped and odd. I also spend a lot of time with my parents, am seen as a lot younger than my age (late thirties) and some have described me as childlike. I also do a similar job role. Not sure why I am posting. Just feel paranoid as to how others see me and wish I could be a more outgoing character so people would see me in a better light.

Fights not guess*

Get a tattoo. And dye your hair blue. Problem solved.

Your narcissism might make people think you're a serial killer though...

What the actual fuck did I just read? Unbelievable.

Unnerved? Really? When Shipman was convicted my reaction was the same as the general public, despite being a fellow doctor.

Oh really? What was this very specific reaction that all of the general public plus you had, that had no variation or nuance within it at all? Only it must be a remarkably rare phenomenon as reactions go- given how different stimuli affect different people so differently- though as a doctor I suppose you would be well placed to know about that?

I've obviously worded this wrong and for that I am sorry.
I shouldn't even have mentioned her name or referenced to her really. I guess I just felt down on myself because it referenced some of my traits and it just got me worrying.
I am the last person on earth who you would call narcissistic or 'me, me, me'. That's about the only good thing I can say about myself.

In the nicest possible way I think you need to give your head a wobble. Many people are pale, blonde and quite slim. But they are not serial killers. Are you in a fragile state mentally if this is playing on your mind? Because unless you are into harming or killing people in some way then the fact that some characteristics are similar is completely irrelevant.

I am pretty sure I have social anxiety without a doubt. As for being ND, certain things just don't fit. I am fine with routine changing, can read people's emotions easily. I know I got it wrong here, but generally, I am everyones go to person for advice or support. I am however very quiet, get nervous easily, hate being in groups of people and would be described how I described myself in the first post.
Again I am sorry if I caused offence. I accept I worded my concerns badly.

OP, maybe ask for the thread to be deleted. I can't see any point to it.

There are lots of non-descript people out there, that's literally why they're non-descript. Nobody is going to start thinking you're a murderer because you're one of them.

My first thought was - why are you trying to compare yourself to a baby serial killer?

My second was - if it was a problem, why not post before?

I doubt anyone is associating you with her.

Are you happy with your life otherwise, OP?

Lots and lots of people are middle of the road, unremarkable, nice people. Nothing to worry about.

It's actually quite narcissistic to insert yourself into a very recent outcome of a situation that involved deaths of multiple people. That's something to consider maybe.

There is no need for concern, as it is simply interesting to some that Lucy Letby appeared average to those who only saw her from an external standpoint. You may have OCD, to worry to this degree. Many individuals may seem typical at first glance, but LL's internal thoughts were much darker (serial killer darker) and unbelievably dysfunctional, which is what shocked so many.

Actually, it holds mirror up to society too and serves as a cautionary message to remain vigilant against superficial impressions and as a reflection of society's tendency to succumb to this flaw.

Vanilla and beige simply mean that you’re quite a predictable, conforming, straightforward kind of person. Not necessarily very negative, and certainly nothing to be embarrassed or sad about. I certainly wouldn’t associate those words with people who are warped! It’s purely that she seemed unremarkable, inoffensive and totally ordinary, so everyone who knew her (and liked her - it wasn’t that she was seen as a tedious dullard) had no clue what was going on at first. If you want to be less vanilla / beige, that’s easy to fix if you take up some adventurous hobbies.

Also - just name her? There's nothing inherently bad or fearful about her name.

There's a whole group of people making this about them because they have given birth to a child and what if it had been them whose ridiculous associations are being validated.

Relieved that a murderer had been caught?

Why would I feel unnerved? Crime isn't contagious.

You make yourself sound pretty boring but every picture I've seen of her is having fun and out with friends. Salsa classes, Ibiza.

Well maybe those are all commonplace but she's definitely outgoing unlike what you said.