Would you still find parenting hard if...

[AngryGreasedSantaCatcus]

You never did a school run, never attended a parent teacher meeting, never helped with homework or read or played with your child, never took them to the dentist, arranged birthday parties or playdates, never made them packed lunches etc. ?

Basically the parenting was the basic clean,cook(and the kid is fussy anyways so after the age of 7 mostly sorts themselves out) , laundry that anyone would have to do in a household just for 3 people instead of 2 . You're also working , but your husband does share the load.

Would you still complain how hard parenting is, that it was detrimental to your career etc. ?

YABU the basic stuff is more than enough to keep a person busy and interfere with their life.

YANBU it's all the extra stuff that actually is parenting and that makes life hard.

I think it is useful to compare to other parents at the time, when looking back. Rather than to parenting expectations now.
My parents fall short in some ways compared to what is considered good parenting now.
Dad did share some domestic work when asked, mum had the full mental load, he did play etc. By the standard of the time he was good for clearing the table after dinner and washing up even after a day on building sites.

Mum didn't do much emotional support, but compared to my friends she was much the same, none of us felt we could open up to our mothers.

I feel like even by the expectations of the time, and compared to others experiences, your mum maybe did fall short on some fronts.
But I do believe what she said about career progression is probably true - even being a mother would have held her back because of others beliefs about what that meant.

Or at least pretend to - most parents i know are absolutely miserable.

You really need to get over yourself.