A little background first, I have one brother we are both in our 40s he is older. Our lives have been very different, I’ve been with my DH for 22 years, married 16, 2 kids, 12 and 10. Ive worked my whole life as has my DH, my parents helped us fund Indy schools for our kids.
My brother has been in and and out of relationships most of his life, generally he never wanted to commit, as soon as the moving in/marriage convo came up he was out the door quicker than you could say boo. Until he met his now wife, he was 40 she is 20 years younger. He went from mr ew not marriage to engaged in 18 months, married 18 months after that and his wife was pregnant with twins soon after. They’ve been together 8 years now. She is a stay at home mum, he makes a ridiculous amount each year.
My mother is quite shallow, thinks looks and money are the be all and end all. I never met up to her wishes for a daughter, I’m not conventionally attractive, could really give two hoots about make-up and clothes and was thrilled to have two boys who would rather be out with the dogs in the forest than anything else. I earn a good amount as does my DH but my brother alone earns more than us combined. I’d say we try to live a modest life, I can’t be bothered with anything flashy.
On the flip, my SIL is young, very attractive, blonde (this is a big thing for my mother she seems to think blondes are the most beautiful people on earth), always well groomed (frankly why wouldn’t she be, she’s a SAHM, kids in nursery/school, they have a cleaner etc.), hair and nails always done, you get the picture, she’s a bit of a ‘Range Rover mummy’.
My mother is obsessed with my SIL, they meet up for lunch once a week, she’s forever telling people how beautiful her daughter in law and granddaughters are (two blonde little girls, just what my mother always wanted). I take my mother shopping once a week and it is all I hear, SIL this and SIL that. She hardly asks about my boys now, frankly they don’t fit her image. She is on my back about me not putting the effort in, buying ‘cheap’ clothes (M&S).
My DH thinks I should ignore it, she’s probably just happy my brother has settled down, but they have been married 5 years!
I know that in reality she’s finally got the daughter and granddaughters she always wanted, and can’t help the excitement but it is beginning to cause me some upset. I feel resentful that my mother has a better relationship with SIL than me and seems to care about my nieces more than my son.
I want to say something but I don’t know how to go about it without causing a fall out. WIBU to bring it up to her? What should I say?