To make 11 yo DS wear a high vis when he cycles?

[Mingomang]

We live in a surburban area which is reasonably quiet. 11yo DS sometimes goes cycling round with his mates, they cycle on roads and tend to stay within the area we live. I make DS wear a high vis but turns out he’s getting a bit of stick from his mates and I think he feels like a bit of a dick wearing it. It’s all quite good natured and he is wearing it without a fuss but I do wonder if I’m being a bit over protective.
I was teased a lot as a child for not fitting in and it’s all a bit triggering!
DH doesn’t really care either way.
AIBU to make him wear it?

Ooh I can see both sides here. Is there any other option like getting him a neon helmet or a cycling top with reflective bits on (poss less embarrassing than a high vis??)

That is a bit cringey at his age, if you disliked not fitting in then don't do it to your own child.

My daughter had a fab coat that was silver coloured but also reflective. Super visible at night without being high vis

Is he cycling in poor light and/or dimly lit roads? If so it is more clearly necessary than if only in the daytime. It is alarming how hard it can be to see cyclists if it is shadowy and they are in dark colours.

Most of the adult cyclists I see around central London seem to wear a lot of neon. Why would you not want to be more visible?

YABU, because it's safe to cycle where it's safe to cycle and it's dangerous to cycle where it's dangerous to cycle, and hi-vis makes next to no difference.

It's worth avoiding very dark colours at night, and lights are non-negotiable ofc. But there's plenty of coats and backpacks that are nicely visible without making you look like a builder.

Does he carry a back pack? If so, could this be a good compromise? https://www.freewheel.co.uk/hump-big-waterproof-backpack-cover-50-litre-safety-yellow-hvc300

I think it's better for a child to be a little bit teased than dead or left with life changing injury because a driver didn't see them. My DC are not allowed to walk or cycle on roads without hiviz, or a helmet when riding. Their safety matters more to me than anything. I just tell them to blame me if their friends say anything. But they've become as pro safety as me, thankfully.

I'm a big cyclist and very into health and safety. In this situation, I would think he would be okay without it. He has hus mates with him so they would be hard to miss and if they're not on busy roads it's less important.

I appreciate that safety is more important than being cool, but there’s a line between common sense and being safe only because none of your friends want to be seen with someone whose mum makes them wear a high vis vest, so he’s got nobody to go out on his bike with.

Just make sure his lights are the best they can be or buy him black hoodies that are cool enough to wear, but with those reflective emblems on them that look silver/white in daylight but light up like torches the second a car headlight comes within 50 yards of them.

Can't he just take it off when he's out of your sight?

Safe, but embarrassing for him. He probably takes it off when he gets out of sight.

Does he wear a helmet?

My child used to cycle off wearing his helmet. Then he fell off and broke a bone and admitted when he gets out of sight he takes it off as his friends don't wear one and it's embarrassing. So he didn't ride his bike for a long time as I couldn't trust him to be safe. I completely see why you make him wear it OP.

A flashing rear light would be much more effective (and cool). Have a look on wiggle. Get one that is designed for day time use. Also... get him on Bikeability to really enforce good road positioning, hazard awareness etc.

I'm a cyclist (10 - 15 hours a week on urban and country roads). You wouldn't catch me wearing high-viz. I wouldn't wear it if it was paid to!!

Not sure how much he’s out at night (?) but I live in a major cycling city and am both a cyclist and driver. Helmet is #1 priority, followed by lights then reflective gear.

When I used to run at night I bought a packet of reflective snap bracelets on Amazon. I used to put them on my ankles or wrists and I added a couple to my bike pedals and helmet. I know they came back for a while, not sure if they’re still cool now but they’re definitely fun to play with so maybe he’d be up for wearing a couple?

Thanks all, mixed response! He doesn’t go out at night at all and they all wear helmets, and he’s done Bikeability.
@Glarptip exactly….. can’t I just do the sensible thing from the POV of a 43 year old mum and he do the sensible thing from the POV of an 11 year old? But he just wouldn’t do that.
He cycles up to a basketball court most days on his own if he’s not out with friends and meets kids there…. Think he’s quite happy to wear it there when alone. So maybe I say wear it when alone but when in a group don’t?

Based on him not going out at night ‘at all’, what do you think the benefit of reflective gear is - genuine question?

Schools make helmets, lights and vis a thing and stop children on the way out of secondary schools where we live

@IDontEvenHaveACat its not reflective, well it might have some reflective bits but primarily it’s neon, so more visible than normal clothes I think?
Honestly and morbidly it’s probably because I wouldn’t blame myself as much if something happened to him. I don’t actually think anything is going to happen to him.
I had a life changing injury falling off my bike at 14, although that was related to helmet use (or lack of) and didn’t involve any other vehicle and a hi vis wouldn’t have helped,
but I am not sure if that’s feeding in too.

Mixed feelings really.

I know what it's like to have something your parent thinks is a wonderful idea... and totally embarrassing.

I also see your point totally. I always wore one when cycling.

However on the basis of the number of kids I see with their helmet dangling from their handlebars, and I suspect strongly conversations have been had along the lines of "Oh Mum, stop fussing, of course I always have my helmet when I'm on my bike," I'd say if you can come up with a compromise then that would be better and ultimately probably safer.

I think you know what’s feeding this and that’s understandable.

As I said, helmet is non-negotiable. If he’s not out at night, cycling sensibly will keep him safe more than doing something stupid wearing high viz.

I would go for reflective/ hi-vis / lights when it is dark but not require it during the day. I also read once that hi vis can be difficult to see if it’s very sunny as they blend together ( don’t take my word for it though) so you may find it’s not doing any good in the day.

Oh god, how embarrassing for him. Get him a bright coat with some reflective bits on it, H&M normally do them, and some bike lights. That will do exactly the same job and won't be so embarrasing for him.