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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DS (17) catch the train to Wembley?

61 replies

Fruitflylady · 15/08/2023 16:18

…because his girlfriend’s DM wants them to be driven there. It’s an hour and a half by car, 2 hours by train. They’re being collected afterwards but I can’t fathom why two sensible 17 yr-olds can’t be allowed to find their way there in public transport.
Also, I hate driving into London.

OP posts:
10HailMarys · 15/08/2023 17:37

The girlfriend’s mum is being utterly ridiculous. They’re both 17 years old! If her kid can’t get on a bloody train at the age of 17, there’s something badly wrong.

It would be mad even if she was travelling alone, but even more so given that she’s going to be with her boyfriend. What on earth does her mum think is going to happen to them both?!

BeenThereDoneThat101 · 15/08/2023 17:39

Why on earth would anyone want to drive into London?

I presume this 17 year old girl won’t be allowed to go to uni? Either that or she won’t be able to get away fast enough.

Summerrainagain1 · 15/08/2023 17:44

I was flying around the world on my own at 16. I would not be driving them.

BacktoBeginnersFran · 15/08/2023 17:48

When you say GF's mother wants them driven there, does she want you to do the driving? Why is she dictating?
Anyway, at 17 years of age they should both be well able for it.

Original poster
Fruitflylady · 15/08/2023 17:54

The outing is nothing to do with us either; it’s GF’s fave band they’re going to see. DS has paid for his own ticket. I’ve offered to pay for their train tickets, but she still wants us to drive them there…🙄

OP posts:
londonmummy1966 · 15/08/2023 17:55

Most London children are able to navigate London public transport by themselves in year 7 -many of them through the big railway terminals and tube interchanges. It might seem a bit daunting to a non-London child but still should be doable by 13/14 unless ND. So a pair of 17 year olds shouldn't have a problem.

Blossomtoes · 15/08/2023 17:58

My bloke was getting himself to school in Nottinghamshire from Belfast when he was 15. Some parents these days are bonkers.

Sparklesocks · 15/08/2023 17:58

I remember years ago when I was 16-17 I went to Wembley with a few friends and one of them had a really overprotective dad who insisted on picking us all up - even though we were happy to get the train, as were our parents. But she was only allowed to go on this condition.

But he got stuck in traffic and we all sat outside the stadium for 45 mins after the concert ended waiting for him. Alone. Just a group of teen girls. We would’ve been much safer getting the train with hordes of others doing the same thing!!

VinEtFromage · 15/08/2023 18:01

Well, I think she's nuts, but it's easily solved she can drive them or if that's not possible she can pay for a taxi.

i don't understand WTAF she thinks this is your problem?

Mumof3girlsandaboy · 15/08/2023 18:02

Fruitflylady · 15/08/2023 17:54

The outing is nothing to do with us either; it’s GF’s fave band they’re going to see. DS has paid for his own ticket. I’ve offered to pay for their train tickets, but she still wants us to drive them there…🙄

Op my 16 year old will be traveling by train to the same concert and the train journey is 2 hours from home into London and then her sister.

Mumof3girlsandaboy · 15/08/2023 18:03

Meet

CountTessa · 15/08/2023 18:06

There is public transport for a resaon.
My 16yr dd has taken herself up there several times over the last year. I was worried the first time, fair enough but if these yp live in London they should be well versed with how it works.

Equally if the other mum thinks they should be driven, she can do the job.

Topseyt123 · 15/08/2023 18:13

Fruitflylady · 15/08/2023 17:54

The outing is nothing to do with us either; it’s GF’s fave band they’re going to see. DS has paid for his own ticket. I’ve offered to pay for their train tickets, but she still wants us to drive them there…🙄

So she is trying to dictate that you drive them there? Tell her no! If she tries to insist then tell her that she can drive them if she wishes - there and back.

Two 17 year olds getting the train is perfectly fine. I got trains all over the country on my own at that age as I was visiting different universities in advance of applying.

LlynTegid · 15/08/2023 18:18

If it is after 29 August you could get charged for ULEZ if your car or indeed Gfs DM has a non-compliant car.

The north circular and the roads around Wembley are bad enough when there are no events. You are right in my view about taking the train.

cheddercherry · 15/08/2023 18:28

That makes even less sense then, I’d just make yourself unavailable on that date with other commitments and simply say if she feels that strongly she can deal with taking them herself? It’s not even a question of it being unnecessary just shut it down with a no can do. So bizarre, if it’s not even something you’ve planned or had anything to do with then it’s even weirder that she’s taking you to task on how they get there.

It’s one thing her having issues with her child growing up and being independent and another thing entirely to expect other people to modify their actions or behaviour to accommodate her.

OliveWah · 15/08/2023 18:57

My eldest DD and her BFF will be travelling 3 hours and 200 miles on a train, staying in an unfamiliar city for the night then travelling home the next day, 2 weeks after her 17th birthday next year. I must admit to feeling a tiny bit apprehensive about it, but when I think what I was up to at that age - and before mobile phones (and Life360!) - I know that 17 is a perfectly sensible age for this sort of trip. Plus she's seeing Taylor Swift, so there's a zero percent change I'd be able to stop her anyway!😁

ThinWomansBrain · 15/08/2023 19:00

I left home at 16 & had moved to France by 17.
Can't quite see why they can't get the train home.

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 15/08/2023 19:08

Jeez my 12 year old could get to Wembley (not that she would be going to a concert on her own) - tbh I'd rather travel with them on the train there and back than drive there but I loathe the North Circular & Hangar Lane gyratory with a passion....

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 15/08/2023 19:09

Where are you travelling from? There might be somewhere you can drop them on the way?

Elvis1956 · 15/08/2023 19:25

I was from Bristol to London to watch England play football in the 1980s! It's fine Wembley will be full of police for football/concert. The tube is safe if you keep alert

neverbeenskiing · 15/08/2023 19:57

At 17 years old I had left home! She's being utterly ridiculous but if she wants to drive them, let her. If she's trying to insist you drive them she can fuck off.

Coriolise · 15/08/2023 20:00

Train is best, just check for train strikes obvs.

ilovesooty · 15/08/2023 20:07

CheeseMuffin · 15/08/2023 17:13

If OP means the stadium it's not remotely dodgy! The whole area around it has been done up with restaurants and a shopping centre. There's even a Box Park!

Show quote history

I go there quite often and was there for the weekend recently. I agree - of course it's not dodgy in the middle of the afternoon.

mylittleprince · 15/08/2023 20:12

The Wembley area has had a fair bit of money ploughed in. I wouldn't class it as dodgy these days.

But in answer to your op unless there is some back story she's being ridiculous. At 17 they should be perfectly capable of getting a train and navigating changes!

Original poster
Fruitflylady · 16/08/2023 09:39

Update; GF’s DF is taking and returning them both in his car. I’m trying not to feel guilty/bad for him, but I still think it’s a waste of time driving them there in the afternoon.

OP posts: