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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how often you have treats?

116 replies

Purditnin · 14/08/2023 23:10

I have always considered myself a reasonably healthy eater. Balanced diet, not overdoing the treats, etc.

I’m currently staying with a friend’s family (DF, her DH and 15 yo DD). They’re all gorgeous and slim and sporty - and the way they eat has been pretty eye opening. Everything cooked from scratch, whole foods, lots of fish and seafood, lots of vegetables in interesting preparations, herbs and spices I’ve never even heard of.

And they don’t snack. Possibly the occasional piece of fruit and she’s baked a cake once this week, which we had after dinner a couple of times. But, that’s it. No little treats. Just three (admittedly large and delicious) meals a day.

I commented on this and DF shrugged and said “I don’t think things are treats if I have them every day. An occasional treat, for me, is once a week or something.”

I feel a bit stupid, but this blew my mind. I have ALWAYS had a little daily treat (sometimes several) and have always just assumed this was the case for everyone. A bar of chocolate or a packet of crisps or something. AIBU? If you consider yourself reasonably healthy, how often do you snack/have a little treat?

OP posts:
7Worfs · 15/08/2023 06:58

If you mean treat as in UPF, then we don’t eat treats in the home ever (but we do at parties and buy ice cream when out etc).

At home everything is cooked from scratch, and desserts are either fruit, something I baked, or Greek yogurt with honey.

We haven’t kept crisps/biscuits/sweets in the house in a long time.

CockSpadget · 15/08/2023 07:00

Treats mean many different things to different people. My treat is a roast dinner with at least 5 different vegetables. I would love to be able to eat it every day, but time constraints mean that’s out of the question, so I have to make do with once a week. I don’t have a sweet tooth at all, however my other half would lose his shit if he didn’t have his biscuits with his daily afternoon and evening cuppas.

Octosaurus · 15/08/2023 07:02

Snapsnap1 · 14/08/2023 23:57

I don't agree with either of you - I don't see crisps, chocolates, cakes etc as 'treats' mostly because I'm not 5yrs old......

I see it as 'eating crap' - which I do daily I should add - but I never think 'ah I'm going to treat myself to a cupcake' - I think 'ah that's some highly processed, fattening crap that will taste amazing' and then I eat it.

How is any of this sort of food a 'treat'?

But as I say - I still eat it. For me food like that is kinda like smoking, I know it's not good for me, it's definitely not a treat, but I'm going to do it anyway and then regret it later, haha.

Seconded!

Octosaurus · 15/08/2023 07:04

Considering it a treat is attaching it to some kind of emotional feeling as a reward. Then you feel like you're being punished if the opposite happens and there is no treat.
Don't see it as a treat just see your diet as a whole and whether it's balanced or not

OlympicProcrastinator · 15/08/2023 07:05

For those saying ‘it’s just food’ I’d like to recommend:
Chris van Tulleken
Ultra-Processed People: Why Do We All Eat Stuff That Isn’t Food … and Why Can’t We Stop?

Most of the stuff we are sold as food is not actually recognisable as food at all once you look at the ingredients. It’s designed to mess with our bodies to get us to eat off much of it and as quickly as possible for profit.

BrutusMcDogface · 15/08/2023 07:07

Snapsnap1 · 14/08/2023 23:57

I don't agree with either of you - I don't see crisps, chocolates, cakes etc as 'treats' mostly because I'm not 5yrs old......

I see it as 'eating crap' - which I do daily I should add - but I never think 'ah I'm going to treat myself to a cupcake' - I think 'ah that's some highly processed, fattening crap that will taste amazing' and then I eat it.

How is any of this sort of food a 'treat'?

But as I say - I still eat it. For me food like that is kinda like smoking, I know it's not good for me, it's definitely not a treat, but I'm going to do it anyway and then regret it later, haha.

Love this! 😂

I have too many “treats”. Aiming to cut down though as dp and I have realised how fat and unhealthy we’ve become.

leonde · 15/08/2023 07:09

Purditnin · 15/08/2023 06:51

It’s all ‘a treat’. However, in this context, I’m using the term as a catch all to refer to all snack foods, sweets and chocolates. I thought that was fairly clear, it’s common parlance and - judging from most of the responses - other posters understood what I meant.

As such, I find it quite strange that you find it strange.

Show quote history

I think this poster is suggesting that you reflect on the way you are framing what a 'treat' is in your mind.

Why are bad foods/ chocolate etc labelled as 'treats' as a 'catch all', when actually you are really enjoying the home cooked food etc?

Bananas1350 · 15/08/2023 07:11

I used to eat it all the the time. Then got a bad gallbladder. Trust me that pain will stop u eating anything slightly fatty or high in calories.

Usernamen · 15/08/2023 07:13

Not really a treat, but I have a bit of dark chocolate (70%+) and nuts, usually almonds, most days.

Snacks are fine, just keep an eye on the sugar content.

Lucia574 · 15/08/2023 07:25

I cook from scratch like your friend. I don’t eat highly processed treats like chocolate and crisps etc, think they’re a bit grim and dislike the thought of that ultra processed crap. I might have fruit, cheese, nuts etc if hungry between meals, but not always. I very very occasionally buy nice homemade-style cakes from a good independent bakery for a treat (maybe once a month or so). I’m slim and want to stay that way. Watch the Panorama programme on ultra processed food!

crew2022 · 15/08/2023 07:32

Every day. I might have a couple of digestive biscuits or a packet of crisps or pavlova or something. I'm overweight by a stone. I have lost all willpower and just can't stop.
Otherwise MH meals are fairly healthy and cooked from scratch three days a week, pasta and salad one day and eating out or at friends so a bbq etc over the weekend.

Janieforever · 15/08/2023 07:32

I also don’t comprehend calling it a treat. The definition of a treat is an event out of the ordinary that gives great pleasure”.

If you eat crap daily it’s hardly out of the ordinary. Your partner is right. For anyone who does it daily or every other day, it’s just their normal diet.

Dymaxion · 15/08/2023 07:43

A treat to me is eating fish and chips by the sea, a good steak or a woodfired pizza, things we have rarely.

Janieforever · 15/08/2023 08:01

Dymaxion · 15/08/2023 07:43

A treat to me is eating fish and chips by the sea, a good steak or a woodfired pizza, things we have rarely.

Yes that’s what a treat is. So for the op, its freshly cooked healthy meals from scratch would be a treat. Chocolate and crisps is just her normal diet.

bakewellbride · 15/08/2023 08:07

I eat like your friend's family. When my youngest was younger I used to eat chocolate every day but have knocked that on the head completely and rarely snack apart from maybe a bit of fruit. Vegetarian and teetotal 7 years.

Bemyclementine · 15/08/2023 08:10

Too often, and it's something I really need to stop.

Isthisexpected · 15/08/2023 08:15

My treat would be a particularly expensive cut of meat or a very fancy cheese etc. So perhaps once a fortnight. Eating processed crap daily doesn't appeal to me and I don't see it as a treat just a bad decision (that I sometimes make!).

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 15/08/2023 08:18

I hate the word “treats” (no idea why)

Me too. There's something a bit twee, infantilising and performatively self-indulgent about it, in an 'Ooh aren't I naughty!' kind of way. Sweet stuff and crisps are tempting and I probably eat too much of them, but I see them as normal, common (if unhealthy) foods, not treats. A treat would be something special and properly indulgent - a luxurious homemade cake etc.

Curseofthenation · 15/08/2023 08:29

I eat more snacks when pregnant, but yeah, I agree with @Snapsnap1 that I am not in the mindset of calling things like chocolate 'treats'. I don't feel shame either though.

If I eat too much crap then I don't feel great, but it is more of a physical feeling. It also depends on what you're defining as a treat.

So, while pregnant I eat a bar of Lindtt dark chocolate approx. once a week, generally over two days, a donut and x2 cupcakes. Sometimes my DH will make a crumble on the weekend or I'll make banana bread with my toddler.

I didn't eat the donut or chocolate pre-pregnancy but I did drink a couple of gin and tonics every Friday. Everything else was the same.

FelicityFlops · 15/08/2023 08:33

It depends on what you class as a treat. From your post it sounds like you are thinking of sweets, biscuits, chocolate etc. All of which are UPFs and add no nutritional value to your diet or wellbeing.
An edible treat for me would be buying some lovely, fresh figs, for example, but I actually do not believe in food being seen or used as a treat. It is fuel for your mind and body. Just as I wouldn't put 2-stroke into my car, I wouldn't put anything similar into my body. It isn't worth it.

Janieforever · 15/08/2023 08:47

I also dislike the term “treat” in this context and personally never use it. I think it’s very damaging. Had a bad day, have a treat. Had a good day, have a treat. Feeling tired, have a treat. Succeeded in something, have a treat. Someone pissed you off. Have a treat. It’s also very childish.

a treat should not be a term used to describe some crap that’s routine and unhealthy. If you want to eat it, eat it. Eat as much of it as you wish. Your body your choice. But don’t kid yourself it’s a treat. It’s not. Call it what it is. Don’t use a twee term for it.

EllaPaella · 15/08/2023 08:53

I'm slim, a size 8-10 and eat chocolate everyday. Maybe a kitkat or a few squares of one of those big bars of lindt dark chocolate. I rarely eat cake as I don't really like it but I might have an ice cream or flapjack on occasion (not every day). It's surely just about balance? If you are exercising regularly and otherwise eating healthy food then a small snack a day isn't going to make a lot of difference.

Wilkolampshade · 15/08/2023 09:01

But it's not a treat if its so frequent is it? It's just your diet? A treat is an infrequent pleasure, surely?

Bobbybobbins · 15/08/2023 09:11

I have typically snacked and eaten treat kind of food every day. Since I turned 40 my weight has started to creep up and I know it is a result of snacking as we eat healthy meals and are active. I am having a few weeks of no snacking between meals apart from a piece of fruit and relearning how to sit with my hunger (greed).

Baldieheid · 15/08/2023 09:17

A treat for us is something that is unusual, not part of our ordinary diet, or seasonal. We anticipate cherry season with pure greed, and eat boxes of them when they're in season.
Oranges are around all year, but they taste best in winter so that's when I buy them. That's the treat to me - something that you look forward to.
A meal treat is something that takes time to make, or involves a little planning. Homemade sourdough is a treat, despite it just being bread. Roast potatoes are a treat.
I don't consider snacks out of packs as treats. They're just snacks, and I'm not a big snacker. DH is, but he has to keep fueled for a very physical job so he tops up his tank every couple of hours