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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What lifestyle do you think disabled people who are not working should have?

276 replies

HmmOk · 14/08/2023 20:54

Curious about what other people think. Before anyone says it, yes I am quite aware that plenty of disabled people do work and lots earn very well. However not everyone is able to do that.

I generally think disability benefits should cover a decent quality of life - should make up shortfall in rent as rents are so high, decent quality food, pay for therapies and tools that would help the person's disabilities, and pay for some fun stuff so that everyone can participate in society. People need to have a bit more money than only meets their basic needs, to be able to meet a mate for coffee or have a day out or whatnot.

Thinking about this today as not currently working due to bereavement and poor physical health and know I'm lucky to be in a loving marriage where i am supported, and for now we are ok with money. I'm hoping to find work I can do soon that won't further fuck my health.

In contrast I have a mate who is very ill with very serious life threatening conditions. She is single, abusive family of origin and she is quite vulnerable especially looking at the future. I think there should be better security for her future as the immense stress of money is not helping her health at all. Like why can't PIP be given for life to someone in that situation? It is cruel.

What do you think?

OP posts:
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Libraryloiterer · 14/08/2023 21:53

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I'll be sure to tell my sister with a cognitive age of 4, and who is registered blind, to have a smaller sense of entitlement and a greater sense of gratitude. Thanks for clarifying that she's spoiled, I thought she was just profoundly disadvantaged!

XenoBitch · 14/08/2023 21:54

Livelovebehappy · 14/08/2023 21:51

A lot of people with mental health issues like depression and anxiety need therapy rather than more money thrown at them.

Therapy does not always help. Plus, being broke and worrying about money just adds to the anxiety anyway.
And where is this magical therapy coming from? Are you aware of how long people are having to wait to even access basic CBT?

BingoBangoFingoFango · 14/08/2023 21:56

fullbloom87 · 14/08/2023 21:46

You need backing by consultants and doctors that you have high care needs involving washing, dressing cooking etc.
if you had the backing from then then you have a right to appeal. But you need to give literally pages and pages of medical evidence with doctors all agreeing that you are physically incapable of things.
They'll never just go by diagnosis alone, always about care needs.

Autism and mental health can be very subjective though so they really do need to also listen to the applicant and not dismiss what they say. Even with medical evidence, you get a lot of things like “I know you can’t do this thing but you can drive a manual car so I’ve decide you can” on the reports. It’s honestly bizarre and so demoralising and humiliating.

sparklelikeadiamond · 14/08/2023 21:57

NMW 37.5 hours a week is a salary of £20319. After tax, NI and auto enrolment pension that is £1419.02 take home pay per month or £17028.24 a year. Maybe that’s the starting point?

Would someone on that minimum wage salary be eligible for any benefits, rent help or things like free prescriptions, eye tests, dentist, social broadband? Or would those costs need to come out of the take home pay? Would someone with disabilities? Support to meet costs directly relating to one’s disabilities would be fair to add on top, of course.

sparklelikeadiamond · 14/08/2023 21:58

And if that NMW take home amount isn’t enough then the NMW needs to go up.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/08/2023 21:58

Crispynoodle · 14/08/2023 21:33

I'm worried this is going to be me but I don't understand what it means financially to be medically retired. Can you or anyone explain it for me?

I'll do it in the terms of a local authority employee subscribed to the Local Government Pension Scheme.

This will include you attending a panel meeting with a union rep if you have one (if not, you may be able to have a colleague or, if they give permission, a relative such as a carer - the latter is by consent of the panel and isn't guaranteed), a panel of at least three people not directly involved in your management, a Human Resources Rep and sometimes somebody else to clerk the meeting.

Your employer has to first decide to terminate your employment on the grounds of being medically incapable of working. They have to consider medical evidence from an independent source, such as an occupational health doctor (which can take a couple of years, examinations and reports, as they need to assess whether there is any prospect of recovery in the short and long term). They will take into account employment record, absences, adjustments and whether the employer has done all they can to support you whilst the rep/clerk ensures that Employment Law, Equality Law and the contract/terms of employment are followed.

Once they have made that decision to terminate employment, the second part of deliberations (which you and the rep will not be present for), they then decide as a panel if they wish to follow the recommendations of Occy Health to agree to medical retirement (where there is no prospect of recovery by the usual Pensionable Age) or not (where it's not clear).

You are notified of the outcome and given a finish date and the HR Rep notifies the Pensions Team of the decision. You have a right of appeal against any decision - but if you want Medical Retirement, you're not going to.

They can be very emotional meetings, but a good panel/clerk will look after you - you'll be told who will be attending in advance and whilst it is technically a disciplinary meeting with a view to dismissal, you aren't in trouble. They are also totally confidential - nobody other than the people who need to know will have any idea of it and fewer still know the precise details of what is shared and said.

LesbianNaan · 14/08/2023 21:58

fullbloom87 · 14/08/2023 21:46

You need backing by consultants and doctors that you have high care needs involving washing, dressing cooking etc.
if you had the backing from then then you have a right to appeal. But you need to give literally pages and pages of medical evidence with doctors all agreeing that you are physically incapable of things.
They'll never just go by diagnosis alone, always about care needs.

I’m similar to @AnxiousFairyQueen , but haven’t dared to attempt to claim PIP, even though technically I meet the criteria.
I have a diagnosis, I have medical notes about anxiety and depression, but that’s it, and it’s not enough. I don’t have the mountains of evidence they require. I avoid going to the dr, I avoid help and support (because the people who were meant to help and support when my son was younger were fucking awful and caused all
sorts of trauma).

Far too many people go without PIP or DLA (and many don’t know attendance allowance exists for OAPs) because they can’t access the evidence or the help to do it, and if you don’t know the highly specific way to fill in the form you’re screwed anyway.

WhatAPalaverer · 14/08/2023 21:59

HmmOk · 14/08/2023 21:37

It is eye opening that some people presumably do think disabled people should have "gratitude".

Also curious what the gratitude is meant to be for?

Not being slung on the rubbish heap somewhere and left to die as soon as it becomes apparent we can't sustain full time employment for 40+ years, maybe?

In much of the world disabled people are reliant on family or begging so yes the uk system is better than many. I am disabled by a long term deteriorating condition. I work 32 hrs a week term time. And it takes all my energy.

Im on support forums for people with the same issues and many seem to think the government should pay them to stay at home so they can have a social life with their limited energy. Would be great if they did! I’d love to use my
energy for fun things rather than work!

Sadly it doesn’t work like that- if you can work, you really ought to. And there really are many, many people who take the piss, fill in the forms to tick the boxes because someone tells them what to say. Also many many many healthy people working full time who have no money for nice things.

So no the system isn’t fair. The genuinely disabled don’t get what they need and the piss takers get more than they ought. Id love to have a subsidy to make up my part time wage to the full time equivalent. And those who really can’t work at all should get the full time equivalent. But saying you don’t want to work so you can have a social life isn’t realistic.

BetsyBobbins · 14/08/2023 21:59

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Foxesandsquirrels · 14/08/2023 22:03

Moneybegreen · 14/08/2023 21:13

decent quality food, pay for therapies and tools that would help the person's disabilities, and pay for some fun stuff so that everyone can participate in society

You're quite right and it'd be lovely if these were covered, but many people working 40+ hours per week can't even afford these things either tbh.

Until this is fixed, people will have a degrading view of those on disability benefits or just benefits in general.

reluctantlondoner · 14/08/2023 22:03

FFS there are some extremely ignorant people on this thread! What about adults with severe learning difficulties? Not all disabilities are "back pain and depression"!

WhatAPalaverer · 14/08/2023 22:03

sparklelikeadiamond · 14/08/2023 21:57

NMW 37.5 hours a week is a salary of £20319. After tax, NI and auto enrolment pension that is £1419.02 take home pay per month or £17028.24 a year. Maybe that’s the starting point?

Would someone on that minimum wage salary be eligible for any benefits, rent help or things like free prescriptions, eye tests, dentist, social broadband? Or would those costs need to come out of the take home pay? Would someone with disabilities? Support to meet costs directly relating to one’s disabilities would be fair to add on top, of course.

I earn less than that doing 32/hrs a week term time. Can’t do any more- ive tried and I was
bed ridden. Not eligible for anything. Would be great if I was!

BingoBangoFingoFango · 14/08/2023 22:04

WhatAPalaverer · 14/08/2023 21:59

In much of the world disabled people are reliant on family or begging so yes the uk system is better than many. I am disabled by a long term deteriorating condition. I work 32 hrs a week term time. And it takes all my energy.

Im on support forums for people with the same issues and many seem to think the government should pay them to stay at home so they can have a social life with their limited energy. Would be great if they did! I’d love to use my
energy for fun things rather than work!

Sadly it doesn’t work like that- if you can work, you really ought to. And there really are many, many people who take the piss, fill in the forms to tick the boxes because someone tells them what to say. Also many many many healthy people working full time who have no money for nice things.

So no the system isn’t fair. The genuinely disabled don’t get what they need and the piss takers get more than they ought. Id love to have a subsidy to make up my part time wage to the full time equivalent. And those who really can’t work at all should get the full time equivalent. But saying you don’t want to work so you can have a social life isn’t realistic.

I don’t disagree with this. I have been told by others with my condition to “just quit work and claim benefits” but I do think it’s pertinent to remember that disabled people’s lives cost more even when working and THAT is what PIP is designed for. I spend money on massages to
manage my physical condition, additional transport costs, and just generally little things to make my life more manageable despite living in severe pain (my c-section immediate recovery hurt less than my every day!) I work because I can and I enjoy it but that doesn’t mean those additional costs disappear and PIP is designed to mitigate that. Obviously I’m not eligible for UC or ESA and that’s fine. They are the benefits designed for those out of work. (Except where UC is topping up earning of course.)

panko · 14/08/2023 22:05

I think it should start with the average (mean) salary of all full time workers at the full adult rate. Then I think it should be adjusted for housing cost eg. If they have a free house or their housing subsidised or benefit for housing that is deducted from the amount BUT only at the standard monthly price of their housing in the area or the actual price whatever is LESS. That way no one will be penalised for having adapted housing.

That's the base "salary" for every day living. So they will be in the same financial position as an average worker in a average house in their area.

Then I think there should be extra allowances for all care/health needs related to their disability.

ashitghost · 14/08/2023 22:05

I work full time and get PIP enhanced both rates, no review until 10 years, which I think is the best outcome possible for PIP. It’s just shy of £700 every four weeks and won’t have a review until 2032. It’s not a great deal of money but helps me pay for a cleaner and taxis etc.

ihadamarveloustime · 14/08/2023 22:05

It's tricky.

I know a lot of people who work full time who can't afford some of the things OP lists. I'm sure they'd love a better, less stressful lifestyle as well.

WhatAPalaverer · 14/08/2023 22:07

reluctantlondoner · 14/08/2023 22:03

FFS there are some extremely ignorant people on this thread! What about adults with severe learning difficulties? Not all disabilities are "back pain and depression"!

And that is the problem- there are huge numbers of people taking the piss and claiming when they are perfectly able to work (albeit part time). I’d bloody love someone to pay me to stay at home, I’d be so much better medically. But they don’t work and it leads to the doubt on the rest of us who are doing our best to work as much as possible.

Andylippy1 · 14/08/2023 22:07

The landlord was discriminating against you stating the property wasn't suitable for you etc. Some landlords are clueless on understanding disabilities or health conditions and the impacts on a person. I know this from talking to various housing providers.

Some people have Pip awarded for a period of 10 years and longer. Usually it could be when you have plenty of medical evidence I have noted but maybe not always.

Feelingss · 14/08/2023 22:07

SpamFrittersYouSay · 14/08/2023 21:09

Intrinsically, a disabled person would have little earning potential, compared to most able bodied people but it really depends on which industry the person is in.

Academia would be fairly well remunerated but not to big detached house standards.

However, what do you mean by disabled?

If physically challenged then the barriers are to commuting, workplace situations but, given that so many wfh then there should be no barriers.

If you're talking about MH barriers. Not sure as the variables in MH seem to change every single day .

Apart from some of us where wfh would be incredibly triggering 😩

Foxesandsquirrels · 14/08/2023 22:08

ashitghost · 14/08/2023 22:05

I work full time and get PIP enhanced both rates, no review until 10 years, which I think is the best outcome possible for PIP. It’s just shy of £700 every four weeks and won’t have a review until 2032. It’s not a great deal of money but helps me pay for a cleaner and taxis etc.

You don't think £700 every 4 weeks is a great deal of money? On top of your salary?

XenoBitch · 14/08/2023 22:08

LesbianNaan · 14/08/2023 21:58

I’m similar to @AnxiousFairyQueen , but haven’t dared to attempt to claim PIP, even though technically I meet the criteria.
I have a diagnosis, I have medical notes about anxiety and depression, but that’s it, and it’s not enough. I don’t have the mountains of evidence they require. I avoid going to the dr, I avoid help and support (because the people who were meant to help and support when my son was younger were fucking awful and caused all
sorts of trauma).

Far too many people go without PIP or DLA (and many don’t know attendance allowance exists for OAPs) because they can’t access the evidence or the help to do it, and if you don’t know the highly specific way to fill in the form you’re screwed anyway.

Same here. When I was under CMHT, they tried to get me to apply for PIP but also stressed that the whole process would make me very ill.
Now I am no longer under them. I rarely see my GP. I can't even access my own notes as it is redacted to protect me.
I claim LCWRA on UC, and that is it. £700 and something a month.

ValleyClouds · 14/08/2023 22:09

@WhatAPalaverer

Respectfully, I don't think many if any disabled people are choosing benefits for "the social life" something that most claimants completely lack.

reluctantlondoner · 14/08/2023 22:11

I cannot believe people think that disabled people are claiming benefits so they can have a nice social life and they should be grateful?! This is insanity.

Do people know how hard it is to claim much in the way of any benefits at all under the current government?!

What the hell should disabled people be feeling grateful for? As a previous poster said, some severely disabled people are so disabled they don't even remotely understand the concept of entitlement or gratitude.

XenoBitch · 14/08/2023 22:12

Foxesandsquirrels · 14/08/2023 22:08

You don't think £700 every 4 weeks is a great deal of money? On top of your salary?

PIP is paid so disabled people are on an even keel with non-disabled people. Their disabilities and the adaptions/care needed should not come out of their own pocket.
Being disabled can be expensive.

Morphingirl · 14/08/2023 22:13

I think it's a catch 22 situation. I know disabled people who don't work that have a awful quality of life and I know people who work with a disability including me who have as good as they can quality of life.

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