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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents penalised for formula feeding

683 replies

thechristmaspudding · 14/08/2023 17:56

I just wanted to open up a discussion to find out the perspectives of other parents on this subject. I would also be interested to hear the opinions of midwives, health visitors and other health care professionals involved with families.
To give a bit of background information, I am a member of the Boots parenting club, which has many parents are likely to be aware gives you access to discounts and offers on baby related items in store. I went into my local boots today to buy my son's formula, hoping to get a good deal as I had been notified of an offer in store. Now, in my sleep deprived state I did not read the offer properly and it did clearly state that it was an offer for follow on formula and not infant first. The cashier was very polite and explained that due to government regulations shops are not legally allowed to offer discounts on infant first formula due to the government expectation that breastfeeding should be encouraged for the first six months. To be clear, I am not taking issue with Boots or any other shop, but it got me questioning whether this is fair? No, I do not believe that formula companies should be able to dissuade women from breastfeeding through aggressive marketing campaigns that encourage parents to buy their product. But surely parents have the right to weigh up the pros and cons of bottle feeding and make an informed choice that reflects the needs and circumstances of their own family? I tried really, really hard to breastfeed but found it extremely difficult and due to a lack of postnatal support gave up (the inadequate breastfeeding support in this country is another issue in itself). This is something I still regret and struggle with. However, my personal experience aside, formula feeding is a valid choice to make whether parents decide to feed this way from birth or at a later stage.
I also remember watching an episode of dispatches a few years ago on how due to the cost of formula many families resort to watering down their baby's feed or even to stealing. This is a situation that is likely to have worsened as a result of the cost of living crisis.
So my question is, AIBU in thinking that it is wrong to penalise bottle-feeding parents when it comes to the cost of formula?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
itsallnewnow · 15/08/2023 17:29

XenophobicPooTroll · 15/08/2023 17:27

This is outrageous . Not every mother can breastfeed.

Absolutely, but all we're talking about is not being able to claim boots points...

Amidlifecrisis · 15/08/2023 17:30

XenophobicPooTroll · 15/08/2023 17:27

This is outrageous . Not every mother can breastfeed.

Imo formula should be free on prescription for those who can’t breastfeed.

But the vast majority of those who formula feed have chosen to, and there’s no reason why that choice should be rewarded or incentivised when it has negative public health impacts.

leatherboundbooks · 15/08/2023 18:50

Blossomtoes · 14/08/2023 18:37

Can’t you see that if parents were rewarded with points that equate to free money because they are buying formula, it would actually be breastfeeding parents that were genuinely penalised?

How do you work that out? There’s no financial cost attached to breastfeeding. How is making an expensive product cheaper penalising someone who doesn’t even need to buy it?

I remember talking to a mum who was complaining about the cost of nursing bras. Many mums use breast pads and or lanolin so there are costs

leatherboundbooks · 15/08/2023 19:03

Hotcrossbunnowplease · 14/08/2023 19:17

I thought promotions were banned because it would encourage people to switch milks based on which is cheaper that week? Which is bad for baby

All formulas has to meet the same standards for nutrition. It's not dangerous for babies to change formula brands. Breast milk is different at different times of day and differently flavoured depending on what mum has eaten. Babies are designed to have different tastine and suffering amounts of fat through a feed
Marketing tells you not to change brands, in fact that's why they want hospitals to use their brand because they know mums will stick with their brand

WeetabixTowels · 15/08/2023 19:09

Amidlifecrisis · 15/08/2023 17:30

Imo formula should be free on prescription for those who can’t breastfeed.

But the vast majority of those who formula feed have chosen to, and there’s no reason why that choice should be rewarded or incentivised when it has negative public health impacts.

Show quote history

Careful, I got told I should be punched in the face and that I’m a vile cunt for stating most people choose to FF.

surreygirl1987 · 15/08/2023 19:10

I remember talking to a mum who was complaining about the cost of nursing bras. Many mums use breast pads and or lanolin so there are costs

Yeh, nursing bras, nursing tops, breastpads (though these are very cheap), nipper cream, nipple shields... I even bought a mistress protector as I leaked so much milk overnight! None of this is as much as formula costs, but yes it wasn't free for me.

leatherboundbooks · 15/08/2023 19:11

Simonjt · 14/08/2023 19:22

You don’t like fed is best, that means you dislike the idea of babies being fed, and that babies being fed is a bad thing. Fairly basic.

Show quote history

No it doesn't. That's silly. Fed is the baseline, no one thinks that formula fed babies should be left to die.
Fed is what you do for a baby when born

surreygirl1987 · 15/08/2023 19:14

Imo formula should be free on prescription for those who can’t breastfeed

I'm not sure about this. I sort of agree with you, but then won't it cause breastfeeding rates to lower as there will be less incentive to breastfeed? Not to mention it would surely cost the NHS a fortune? Then again, some families really can't afford formula and resort to watering it now. You're probably right, on balance.

WouldJustlikeaLatte · 15/08/2023 19:27

surreygirl1987 · 15/08/2023 19:14

Imo formula should be free on prescription for those who can’t breastfeed

I'm not sure about this. I sort of agree with you, but then won't it cause breastfeeding rates to lower as there will be less incentive to breastfeed? Not to mention it would surely cost the NHS a fortune? Then again, some families really can't afford formula and resort to watering it now. You're probably right, on balance.

Formula companies perhaps should have some sort of social responsibility programme where they donate some of the profits from follow on milk to support a scheme where a low cost formula option is available for parents who need it

SouthLondonMum22 · 15/08/2023 19:34

surreygirl1987 · 15/08/2023 19:14

Imo formula should be free on prescription for those who can’t breastfeed

I'm not sure about this. I sort of agree with you, but then won't it cause breastfeeding rates to lower as there will be less incentive to breastfeed? Not to mention it would surely cost the NHS a fortune? Then again, some families really can't afford formula and resort to watering it now. You're probably right, on balance.

The breastfeeding rates are already low with things as they are now, I'm not sure that it would make a difference regarding that.

I do wonder what would be classed as can't breastfeed though such as just physically or would it also cover because of medication, previous trauma such as sexual assault etc.

Amidlifecrisis · 15/08/2023 19:38

surreygirl1987 · 15/08/2023 19:14

Imo formula should be free on prescription for those who can’t breastfeed

I'm not sure about this. I sort of agree with you, but then won't it cause breastfeeding rates to lower as there will be less incentive to breastfeed? Not to mention it would surely cost the NHS a fortune? Then again, some families really can't afford formula and resort to watering it now. You're probably right, on balance.

I said free to those who can’t - those who want to but who are unable to for medical reasons (physical or psychological).

If it’s a choice then you should pay for it, like with everything else you choose to buy for your baby. But if you can’t do it despite good (free) support then I think it should be free on prescription.

FlipFlopVibe · 15/08/2023 19:39

It’s unbelievable the number of people who have such strong opinions on how someone else feeds their baby. It doesn’t make any difference to you how another mother raises a child, no one is asked when they’re an adult “did your Mother breastfeed you?”. It doesn’t mean anything at all. Just accept it and move on.

CantFindMyMarbles · 15/08/2023 19:40

There are laws around formula being on offer I believe. It can only happen past a certain stage.

Oliotya · 15/08/2023 19:40

FlipFlopVibe · 15/08/2023 19:39

It’s unbelievable the number of people who have such strong opinions on how someone else feeds their baby. It doesn’t make any difference to you how another mother raises a child, no one is asked when they’re an adult “did your Mother breastfeed you?”. It doesn’t mean anything at all. Just accept it and move on.

Most people don't care irl. But OP asked for a discussion. So it's being discussed.

elliejjtiny · 15/08/2023 19:47

I think it's not just about saving money, by not including formula milk on the points scheme it's like saying that it's bad or wrong to be needing it. Bit like when I went into boots to get some 1ml syringes for my baby's medication and the lady behind the till gave me a disgusted look and said that she would sell me the syringes but I wouldn't be getting any new needles because I'd come on the wrong day. I knew that I was using them for my baby's medication but it still upset me that she thought I was using drugs.

I think formula on prescription is a nice idea but it would be hard to prove you couldn't breastfeed and it would upset more mums than it helped.

WomblingTree86 · 15/08/2023 19:49

Amidlifecrisis · 15/08/2023 19:38

I said free to those who can’t - those who want to but who are unable to for medical reasons (physical or psychological).

If it’s a choice then you should pay for it, like with everything else you choose to buy for your baby. But if you can’t do it despite good (free) support then I think it should be free on prescription.

Show quote history

Lots of people could say that they have psychological reasons for not being able to breastfeed and it would be difficult to prove otherwise and who would do it? And given most people's milk would stop if they didn't breastfeed for a week or so then just about everybody could say they had a physical reason for not being able to breastfeed too.

Who is supposed to prove that they can't or they can? No healthcare professional is going to want to do that and if they did do it they would have to be paid.

elliejjtiny · 15/08/2023 19:50

Oh and not an adult but I was asked if I had breastfed my then 6 year old by a Dr once and then asked why not when I said no which I thought was quite rude and unnecessary.

WomblingTree86 · 15/08/2023 19:54

elliejjtiny · 15/08/2023 19:47

I think it's not just about saving money, by not including formula milk on the points scheme it's like saying that it's bad or wrong to be needing it. Bit like when I went into boots to get some 1ml syringes for my baby's medication and the lady behind the till gave me a disgusted look and said that she would sell me the syringes but I wouldn't be getting any new needles because I'd come on the wrong day. I knew that I was using them for my baby's medication but it still upset me that she thought I was using drugs.

I think formula on prescription is a nice idea but it would be hard to prove you couldn't breastfeed and it would upset more mums than it helped.

Given that most people will be using them for drugs why should she think you are different?

Daisymae55 · 15/08/2023 19:55

I formula fed my daughter and , while the cost of formula and lack of breastfeeding support are huge issues (my midwife told me after an hour of trying to breastfeed unsuccessfully to just do formula…), I am personally glad that promotions can’t be done on first stage formula.

During the year I formula fed, the amount of times I’d have to go to multiple supermarkets as it was sold out was so stressful. And it seems to be a recurring problem as even until recently I’d see huge missing sections on the formula aisle. I can only imagine how much worse supply would be if there were offers on formula.

WomblingTree86 · 15/08/2023 19:57

Daisymae55 · 15/08/2023 19:55

I formula fed my daughter and , while the cost of formula and lack of breastfeeding support are huge issues (my midwife told me after an hour of trying to breastfeed unsuccessfully to just do formula…), I am personally glad that promotions can’t be done on first stage formula.

During the year I formula fed, the amount of times I’d have to go to multiple supermarkets as it was sold out was so stressful. And it seems to be a recurring problem as even until recently I’d see huge missing sections on the formula aisle. I can only imagine how much worse supply would be if there were offers on formula.

That's true. It would encourage people to buy in bulk.

elliejjtiny · 15/08/2023 20:05

WomblingTree86 · 15/08/2023 19:54

Given that most people will be using them for drugs why should she think you are different?

Show quote history

Sorry, I didn't realise that most people would use 1ml syringes for drugs.

ellyeth · 15/08/2023 20:23

I feel a bit torn on this one. I do think it is better for children to be breast fed. Having said that, with my first child I struggled for about 8 weeks and then finally gave up. Some women find breast feeding excruciatingly painful or there are other reasons why they cannot breastfeed.

If someone wants to buy baby formula, for whatever reason, they will do so. Not allowing a discount is unlikely, I think,. to dissuade them. But if they are struggling financially it can make things even harder for them.

I find the marketing of follow-on milk much more disturbing, as it is totally unnecessary.

FairAcre · 15/08/2023 20:28

Honestlyy · 15/08/2023 08:58

Just because it's triggered you doesn't mean it's not true. It really is a very small number of women who really physically can't feed. Lots of women feel they are unable to, however because they've received inadequate support and shitty advice.

In some of the breastfeeding groups I'm in, there are women on their third or fourth child who are happy that they're finally managing to breastfeed because they've received proper advice and support.

Show quote history

Totally agree

Somethingsnappy · 15/08/2023 20:31

CantFindMyMarbles · 15/08/2023 19:40

There are laws around formula being on offer I believe. It can only happen past a certain stage.

Um, well... Yes...
Somebody hadn't read the thread. 😆

surreygirl1987 · 15/08/2023 20:36

Formula companies perhaps should have some sort of social responsibility programme where they donate some of the profits from follow on milk to support a scheme where a low cost formula option is available for parents who need it

I like this idea a lot.