Parents penalised for formula feeding

[thechristmaspudding]

I just wanted to open up a discussion to find out the perspectives of other parents on this subject. I would also be interested to hear the opinions of midwives, health visitors and other health care professionals involved with families.
To give a bit of background information, I am a member of the Boots parenting club, which has many parents are likely to be aware gives you access to discounts and offers on baby related items in store. I went into my local boots today to buy my son's formula, hoping to get a good deal as I had been notified of an offer in store. Now, in my sleep deprived state I did not read the offer properly and it did clearly state that it was an offer for follow on formula and not infant first. The cashier was very polite and explained that due to government regulations shops are not legally allowed to offer discounts on infant first formula due to the government expectation that breastfeeding should be encouraged for the first six months. To be clear, I am not taking issue with Boots or any other shop, but it got me questioning whether this is fair? No, I do not believe that formula companies should be able to dissuade women from breastfeeding through aggressive marketing campaigns that encourage parents to buy their product. But surely parents have the right to weigh up the pros and cons of bottle feeding and make an informed choice that reflects the needs and circumstances of their own family? I tried really, really hard to breastfeed but found it extremely difficult and due to a lack of postnatal support gave up (the inadequate breastfeeding support in this country is another issue in itself). This is something I still regret and struggle with. However, my personal experience aside, formula feeding is a valid choice to make whether parents decide to feed this way from birth or at a later stage.
I also remember watching an episode of dispatches a few years ago on how due to the cost of formula many families resort to watering down their baby's feed or even to stealing. This is a situation that is likely to have worsened as a result of the cost of living crisis.
So my question is, AIBU in thinking that it is wrong to penalise bottle-feeding parents when it comes to the cost of formula?

But the formula companies could cut their prices tomorrow - there's no law against that at all.

Babies need reliably cheap, accessible formula. Not temporary discounts and points from selected retailers.

Totally untrue. If your baby doesn’t have any intolerances, swapping brands is actually beneficial as then babies get slightly different tastes (which is more similar to breastmilk, which tastes different depending on time of day/mother’s diet etc).

You know who made up the myth that it’s bad to change brand? The manufacturers. Because they know that once babies start on their brand, they’ve generally got them until they wean off formula.

We used cow and gate because it was always cheapest.

Same with little angel nappies, purely because it was cheapest and the cost adds up quick.

I didn't go 'ooo... Hienz make these shitbag so it must be so much better than Asdas own brand'.

Branding doesn't really matter with baby stuff, you are more likely to get recommended something by other mams who say something works than to just see 'adverts' for them and think that it we are 'pampers' family from now on.

If it's all about ensuring women attempt to breastfeed and aren't led astray by a Boots 3 for 2, then maybe we need to look more at breastfeeding support to make this a viable and successful option to those that want to.

I certainly felt stigmatised breastfeeding in public and absolutely expected at times to be told I couldn't. I also received next to no useful real life breastfeeding support. I managed it thanks to the boards on here. It wouldn't have been discounted formula causing me to switch, it would have been the lack of support to be successful with breastfeeding.

do you really think women see an aptamil ad and think oh I better feed my baby aptamil instead of breastfeeding that advert is just so good and my neighbour mentioned it years ago. Maybe explore why you have such a poor opinion of women.

It’s not about having a poor opinion of women, it’s about marketing and how it works.

Companies don’t spend billions on marketing for no reason.

We feel like we have free choice, but you cannot underestimate the power of marketing on all humans.

EXACTLY 🤣🤣 because at some point marketing has been invoked!

Do you think undiscovered Amazon tribes know formula exists? If not why not?

Breast milk is a live substance that filters out as much as it can and gives the baby the best it can. Very few medications can’t be taken with breastfeeding. Myths indeed!

You buy on price - fair enough.

Not everyone does. Some people watch those pampers adverts with wriggly babies and would be convinced they are a better fit to avoid poonamis. Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t. Some people want the green eco ones as perceive it’s better for the environment etc.

Clearly lots of people do buy pampers or else they wouldn’t exist as a brand. It is a complete fallacy to say people aren’t persuaded by brands.

I still cry in the night because I never had chance to hear these things. When you know you're doing whats best for your baby, those comments would be easy to brush off.

Re the cost of breastfeeding vs bottle, I bought the nursing bras, nursing clothes, 2 different pumps, vitamins, mad cookies off of Etsy, nipple shields, nursing pillow, the blanket thing, paid for breastfeeding support then still had to buy bottles, steriliser, prep machine and formula every single week for a year, so please, begrudge me 50p every so often

I mostly breathed but used aptamil from 4 months. It was what I had seen used in hospitals and I think was thought to be closest to breast milk (2004 for refference). Yes more expensive but was never my babies' sole food source.

YABU. The rates of breastfeeding are woeful in this country. The formula milk companies have massive amounts of money behind them to market their goods. Vast amounts. I read the figures a few years ago, comparing what was spent on the promotion of formula compared to breastfeeding. It’s aggressive marketing:

Here

Do you know why follow-on milks were developed? For the benefit of children and mums? Of course not! They’re unnecessary. The reason follow-on milks were developed was to get around a government ban on promotion of infant formula. You’re might be too young to remember, but infant formula used to have pretty boring brand names. What happened was the companies realised they could invent follow-on milks, which were exempt from the ban, being for babies over 6 months. They could then rebrand their infant formulas with the same name and the ads for the new follow-on milks would indirectly promote the infant formula. In fact, lots of people don’t even realise promotion of infant formula is banned. Formula, follow-on, growing up milk - it all blends into one, ‘helpfully’ linked under the same names.

So, you are being very unreasonable. Personally I’d extend the advertising and promotions ban to follow-on milks. Most women can breastfeed. They’re being let down in some areas of the country by the lack of support, and by insidious promotion of artificial milks that are inferior to breast milk. Yes, women should be able to choose, but because of the constant promotion of formula and the rather cleverly pushed lies about breastfeeding, the amount of women making that choice is higher than it would naturally be.

Ok so my take. I had both my children in another European country where most people bf. The reason why....after birth min stay in hospital is two nights!!it'd not fun but this gives you time to establish bf. With my first everytime I needed to feed I pressed the button and the nurse came to check my latch. Also on night two the milk comes in and it's known on the ward...oh the baby will be up most of the night feeding....good luck.
In the uk you don't get this help. When baby is cluster feeding people think something is wrong...not enough milk...ect...panic and change to bottle. Of course there are people who can't bf or don't want to and thats fine you should choose what you want but I feel sorry for the people who want to bf but can't because of a lack of help.

I think you are right. Snack foods marketed at weaning babies are probably much worse for them than formula.

Deals on formula are bad as they encourage swapping of brands which can cause digestive upsets for babies.

I think really deals or advertising for any form of processed food need to be banned. Most of these deals aren't real anyway (apart from reductions due to short dates). They just hike the price for a week before putting it down again. They don't genuinely save you money, just make you buy more.

Boots points make it more expensive than other similar shops. Just shop somewhere like savers and you can get the savings without faffing about with the points.

Aldi is the cheapest formula milk I came across

Agreed…there should be ration tokens for parents or something.

We had twins during lockdown, they only have premade C&G formula and we’re limited to three bottles per shop…we were going though more that one bottle a day.

Another gripe

Mums who bottle feed do seem to have a chip on their shoulders. I realise that there are some mums out there who have a genuine difficulty breastfeeding but I’ve also met a fair few who can’t be bothered/don’t persevere who then spend a lot of time justifying their decision.

Absolutely agree there should be restrictions and regulations. Also think that they go too far e.g. being excluded from the £10 off when you spend £X voucher.

I chose to FF and would absolutely do so again. Didn’t attempt to breastfeed, no idea if I could manage it or not (note: my kids are in primary school now and you can’t tell the difference. But a lot of my militant breast feeder acquaintances, who judged me so harshly at the time, are now awfully fond of shoving happy meals, chocolate and greggs sausage rolls into their kids now. Just saying).

I don’t feel penalised by the lack of points etc, I accepted that as part of my decision to FF, but then I was in the privileged position of being able to afford the extortionate amounts for formula. If I was on the bones of my arse with no choice but to FF, that would be very very difficult (and restrictions such as the voucher one mentioned above make life much harder for those people, for no apparent reason or benefit to the greater good).

Oh I'm not saying they're the same formulation, and different babies react differently to different formula brands. There will also be some babies that get on better with Cow and Gate than with Aptamil. My point is that neither is objectively proven better and that they charge £4 extra for Aptamil because it's branded as a premium product and Cow and Gate is branded as a budget product. Your baby did better on Aptamil and you shouldn't have had to pay £££ subsidising their marketing budget for that.

It's really extortionate and priced high because most people using it have no choice. You're right OP.

Maybe that’s because of the nauseating sanctimony of some of their breastfeeding counterparts.

begrudge me 50p every so often

This isn’t a breastfeeding vs formula feeding issue though, no breastfeeding mother will take delight that formula feeding mothers have to pay more.

It’s about protection from predatory marketing tactics that take away free choice.

Fierce marketing broke down generations of breastfeeding women. We are all currently protected in a very small way to try to ensure that we retain that choice.

Also Pampers were the actual worst of all the nappies we used. Aldi and Asda were much better.

Except choosing one thing based on price is marketing in action!

More here from The Lancet

“For decades, the commercial milk formula (CMF) industry has used underhand marketing strategies, designed to prey on parents' fears and concerns at a vulnerable time, to turn the feeding of young children into a multibillion-dollar business. The immense economic power accrued by CMF manufacturers is deployed politically to ensure the industry is under-regulated and services supporting breastfeeding are under-resourced. These are the stark findings of the 2023 Breastfeeding Series, published in The Lancet today.
The three-paper Series outlines how typical infant behaviours such as crying, fussiness, and poor night-time sleep are portrayed by the CMF industry as pathological and framed as reasons to introduce formula, when in fact these behaviours are common and developmentally appropriate However, manufacturers claim their products can alleviate discomfort or improve night-time sleep, and also infer that formula can enhance brain development and improve intelligence—all of which are unsubstantiated. Infant feeding is further commodified by cross-promotion of infant, follow-on, toddler, and growing-up milks using the same branding and numbered progression, which aims to build brand loyalty and is a blatant attempt to circumvent legislation that prohibits advertising of infant formula.”

I totally understand your perspective, I really do, but I promise it's not easy to brush these comments off when you actually experience them. When you're unbelievably sleep deprived and it's only you who can feed the baby, and people keep telling you "they'd sleep better with formula" like their own babies, it makes you question whether you even are doing the best thing - especially when your own baby doesn't seem to be getting proper rest.

Or when people make you insecure for revealing a bit more flesh in public because they'd personally feel very uncomfortable (I wasn't bothered until someone said this, and suddenly I lost all confidence and started feeding in private). When people say they love having freedom, while you're chained to the house and don't get more than 2 hours away from your baby for almost a year, while they're all out partying, having solo days out/self care while dad feeds the baby, etc.

I look back and I'm like, was it all worth it? Was the loneliness, the isolation, the insecurity, the sleepless nights, the sole burden of feeding, all worth it? How are my (much older now) children any better off than their formula fed peers?

So why are points the solution?

You pay for the points with slightly higher prices the rest of the time.

The discount on your brand is temporary and you pay a little more the rest of the time to fund it.

Your closest shop suddenly becomes too expensive because the big out of town supermarket has the discounts and so the price at Spar has rocketed to fund the deal the company made with the supermarket.

Meanwhile, it costs pennies to make and could easily be cheaper ALL the time for everyone if there were any ethics involved.