Parents penalised for formula feeding

[thechristmaspudding]

I just wanted to open up a discussion to find out the perspectives of other parents on this subject. I would also be interested to hear the opinions of midwives, health visitors and other health care professionals involved with families.
To give a bit of background information, I am a member of the Boots parenting club, which has many parents are likely to be aware gives you access to discounts and offers on baby related items in store. I went into my local boots today to buy my son's formula, hoping to get a good deal as I had been notified of an offer in store. Now, in my sleep deprived state I did not read the offer properly and it did clearly state that it was an offer for follow on formula and not infant first. The cashier was very polite and explained that due to government regulations shops are not legally allowed to offer discounts on infant first formula due to the government expectation that breastfeeding should be encouraged for the first six months. To be clear, I am not taking issue with Boots or any other shop, but it got me questioning whether this is fair? No, I do not believe that formula companies should be able to dissuade women from breastfeeding through aggressive marketing campaigns that encourage parents to buy their product. But surely parents have the right to weigh up the pros and cons of bottle feeding and make an informed choice that reflects the needs and circumstances of their own family? I tried really, really hard to breastfeed but found it extremely difficult and due to a lack of postnatal support gave up (the inadequate breastfeeding support in this country is another issue in itself). This is something I still regret and struggle with. However, my personal experience aside, formula feeding is a valid choice to make whether parents decide to feed this way from birth or at a later stage.
I also remember watching an episode of dispatches a few years ago on how due to the cost of formula many families resort to watering down their baby's feed or even to stealing. This is a situation that is likely to have worsened as a result of the cost of living crisis.
So my question is, AIBU in thinking that it is wrong to penalise bottle-feeding parents when it comes to the cost of formula?

I agree that the majority of women can breastfeed but some, of this specific group, make a choice not to breastfeed. It’s fine to make that choice (happily or with not wanting to make this choice) when fully informed and it should be supported. It’s really hard and unrelenting work to breastfeed. Many woman can’t manage that because of pnd/work/studying/not wanting to pump at work/ looking after other kids/caring for relatives/there’s many reasons including also not wanting to breastfeed. There is nothing wrong to make a choice. For the mums who don’t want to breastfeed it’s fine to say this. I knew a family member who didn’t want to breastfeed. They decided this and it was fine. There is a smaller subset of women who can’t breastfeed and they should have formula prescribed by their doctor and be supported and helped.

Bingo. That’s why we have regulations about the advertising and promotion of formula milk.

Why do you think Aptamil is ‘the best possible’? Why do you think Aldi’s milk is less good? That’s the power of advertising and branding.

’The Politics of Breastfeeding’ is an excellent book, I’d highly recommend it.
I had my first baby in another European country and I think I read it beforehand. Perfectly healthy but removed at birth and taken straight to the nursery, scrubbed and dressed. I wasn’t allowed to see her until I’d staggered downstairs post-c-section (no pain relief) as they cited ‘hygiene’ for not allowing babies in with mothers during visiting hours and at night. They used to stick glucose coated bottle teats in their mouths to keep them quiet, despite my asking them not to.
I made a right nuisance of myself and insisted on staying in the nursery (the nurses’ personal fiefdom) and attempting to establish breastfeeding but I can easily see why many mums found it hard.
When she started nursery, I was told by the staff that “a mother’s milk goes bad after six months” so I should stop BF. I think by that point I was considered the stroppy hippy foreigner who carried her baby around (used public transport, so more practical) and whose baby used her as a dummy.😂

Babies two and three were born in the UK and it was a completely different experience. Both BF, although I had to beg for #3 to be taken away and cup fed some formula as my milk took ages to come in and he was hungry and cross. He also needed tongue tie snipping, which thankfully they were able to do while I was still in hospital with me. In hindsight I’d lost a lot of blood too, so it would have been more of a struggle. If I hadn’t known I was capable of successfully BF, I’d have possibly given up on the idea.

There needs to be more support for mothers who want to BF, in both establishing and continuing and I agree with previous posters about formula being in unbranded packaging and perhaps being sold at a set price. It does seem unfair that babies with reflux/intolerances get their formula completely free of charge too.

I don’t think formula should ever be included in sales promotions or points earning.

Thank you for this. A sensible comment and exactly how i feel x

No I but I don’t say ‘breast is best’ eithwr

Proclaiming that CB is ‘not a thing anymore’ is not an account of your experience 🙄

Who told you Aptimil was the best?

Was it..... Aptimil by any chance?

(Of course they NEVER say it's best because that would land them in bother because it's bollocks. They use "closest to breastmilk" as an insinuation that it is.)

The problem is that formula is produced by absolutely ruthless multinationals that will find any way to persuade women to buy their product, so the rules have to be iron clad.

Step outside of your own narrow perspective and consider the issue from all angles. There is a lot of material on the damage these companies' agressive marketing tactics have done to women and babies, here and in less developed countries.

I want to recommend The Politics Of Breastfeeding again for anyone not fully understanding the effects of marketing.

Breastfeeding is a hugely emotive and polarised issue. Women are made to feel sanctimonious for having managed to breastfeed, and woefully inadequate if they have made the very valid choice to formula feed. It’s such a shame.
At the end of the day, however you feed your baby it’s hard being a new mother (and can be all the way through to the little darlings being adults), and these feelings run deep.
We feel judged if things don’t go right, for being a working mum, for being a SAHM, for everything. I wonder when it became this way?

Do you think more expensive is always better?

I was basing that suggestion on price. I guess most people who can afford the most expensive will assume it’s the best and buy it. The point I responded to was about price.

I didn't say CB wasn't a thing. I said it's not a thing that earning under 50k each automatically entitles you to CB. It's not as simple as being under a threshold and the government giving you money.

I totally agree with you!

my best friend from the off said “I’m using formula because the thought of a baby on my tits creeps me out and it’s also seems easier”. I respect that FAR more than someone who says they were forced into formula feeding when they weren’t.

You don’t have to pay to breast feed, do you?

You pay for the food you eat. I lost lots of weight breastfeeding. It cost more than an extra £10 a fortnight

To answer the OP:
YABU

Then they buy their formula, like they do already

Why do you think Aptamil is ‘the best possible’? Why do you think Aldi’s milk is less good? That’s the power of advertising and branding.

Exactly this. Advertising works. Marketing works. They have it down to a science - to think that you're immune to it is extremely foolish.

Formula milk for newborns cannot be advertised or given offers on.
Only follow on milk.

Yes, the company who makes Aptimil are very aware of that. It's specifically priced as a premium product despite, by law, having exactly the same proven nutritional value as the others.

It also deliberately targets women who breastfed and then switched to formula - totally cashes in on the guilt factor.

Google clearly “knows” I’ve had a baby - am marketed follow on milk relentlessly on YouTube etc.
Think that should be illegal personally

I'm your friend.

Well, it doesn't creep me out but I have formula fed since birth because it felt easier, I knew I'd be having a shorter maternity leave and I didn't want to be the only one responsible for feeding.

No guilt and definitely no force.

Good for you!

That sounded sarcastic but I promise it wasn’t 🤣

You guys know breastfeeding mums get judged the crap out of too? Some examples of things said to me when I breastfed my children:

"Oh wow you're STILL breastfeeding? You don't need to after the first month?"
"I could never breastfeed, it's too limiting/I need my freedom"
"Don't you feel uncomfortable doing it in public?"
"There's nothing in breastmilk that you can't get in formula"
"Breastfeeding mums always look down on formula fed mums"
"Oh you're not drinking because of breastfeeding? Booooring"
"A breastfeeding space? Yeah you can use the toilets"
"Ah yeah, your baby sleeps terribly because you chose to breastfeed. Mine sleeps through"

Well exactly this.

🤦🏼‍♀️