When do these little terrors get easier ?? I can't take it anymore !!

[booboonurse]

I have only two of them ( how to people manage with more ?? ). I feel totally burnt out and like nothing works. Everything is a struggle with them.

They're one and three years old. My three and a half year old has tantrums about stuff, daily. Today it was because she wanted to eat both the ice creams I bought for her and her brother.

The little one is CONSTANTLY climbing on the tables and Kitchen island, CONSTANTLY. I have to literally remove him, probably 50 times a day. He doesn't give it up. The house is constantly a mess. I'm constantly tidying up and it's still a mess.

I try to have quality time with them, but there's always some sort of issue that ends in tears on each outing. Today we went to the pet shop to choose a fish bowl and look at the animals. That went surprisingly well with no melt downs. But of course major issues while getting an ice cream after. First tears in the queue and then again because of course my DD wanted to hold and eat both ice creams.

Recently she's started to have tantrums when I turn the TV off too. Which is a new one that I really hate. It never used to be an issue.

At soft play we go to frequently she often plays really nicely, but sometimes she gets into this zone where she just starts being naughty and taking toys off other kids etc. basically when she's not getting her way, she acts up. The little one is now mobile but is too small to be left to roam the soft play so I have to be on constant watch. It's a small soft play, but I also have to make sure my DD is behaving, so it gets stressful.

Any activity with them is hard. Staying home with them is hard. Nights are still hard. My one year old is refusing to sleep in his cot now entirely and I have to lie next to him to get him to sleep and also when he wakes in the night and for his naps. My three year old also needs me to stay with her when she falls asleep.

It's a lot. My partner is gone most of the time and it's basically my problem. I also have a full time job ( from home ) that's quite demanding. I'm very tired. But everything would be fine, if they were just a little easier to spend time with and look after.

First and foremost, how do I get my DS to stop climbing on the table.

Mine are 3 and 4.5 and much much easier than they were. I found it got easier when the big one was coming up to 4. I think you are right in the double toddler stage, where the little one is starting to be a toddler and the big one is still impossible to reason with.

I have to leave the house every day. I actually found the park pretty good as it has a heavy gate and only one entrance so everyone was contained. If you don't have toddler reigns, get some!

Thanks for giving me hope that it might get a little easier quite soon. I just need 10 percent easier. I have to say, my older one is better than she was at 2 and a half. But it's still a rough ride some days. I feel like the last week she's got worse and I think I can attribute that to me just being a bit more consistent and not letting her have her way as much. I do have a couple of books but it's sometimes hard to put it into practice all the time.

Maybe by Christmas things will be a little easier. My girl will be almost 4 by then and the little one will have past one and a half.

Mine are older now, but largely we had the same issues.
I resorted to treating them the same as my dogs. They needed exercise, mental stimulation and adequate socialisation to be content and happy.

as much as I couldn’t be arsed. Wind, rain or shine we got out every morning, eldest on a balance bike, youngest in pushchair until it was open/safe for him to run until he dropped.

id set up something when we got back for them to play. Be it pipe cleaners in a coulinder, or play doh or shaving foam, just something to stretch their minds/keep them occupied for half an hour.

if they argued over something and couldn’t share it went in the ‘bin’ (boxed away out their access)
if they climbed furniture they’d get one warning. The second time I’d strap them in a high chair/pushchair for a time out. It eventually sank in.
we encouraged climbing in the right places, and rewarded that.

i’d then feed them lunch and repeat the cycle 😂 just time then for a bath and bed.

it’s rough, really rough but it does get better.

i also insisted on all childcare being out the house and a weekly cleaner.

good luck, it will get better! Stock up on the nice treats for after bedtime, and remember with each day you are a step closer to being out the madness

When I found times really tough (my younger was a demon toddler) I could usually find that looking back three months rather than days demonstrated that it was getting easier just slowly.
I think consistency is the key but you may find that your 3 yr old gets worse before she gets better if she's used to having her own way - set from rules with consequences and stick to them, remember who is in charge!

But most of all be kind to yourself, tomorrow is always a new day