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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To start playing video games?

171 replies

Daisy523 · 12/08/2023 22:19

I was never crazy into video games like a lot of people around me, but I always played Sims pretty regularly as I was growing up. I stopped playing around the age of 19/20, when I was deep into college and starting my career. It’s been a few years since, and I’m pretty settled in my career and have graduated not once, but twice.

Now that that’s all done with, I’m finding myself with nothing to do. I work and sleep, and don’t do much else. I have severe social anxiety, so going out or partying was never something that interested me, and I’m not too bothered about tv or books. I don’t have any other hobbies I enjoy either. The only thing that looks somewhat fun is picking Sims back up.

Problem is, I feel stuck in the idea that video games (Sims especially) are childish wastes of time. That it’s stupid for me to spend time playing video games when I’m in my mid 20s.

AIBU?

OP posts:
SchoolBlazers · 19/08/2023 09:58

There are some very weird ideas on MN about gaming. Someone who spends 2 hours on an evening playing Fallout4 or Red Dead Redemption is a brain dead loser with no social skills, but on the other hand, doing a jigsaw, embroidery, watching soaps on telly or watching tik-tock videos is absolutely fine.

It's a hobby / passtime like any other and as long as it doesn't take over your life it's fun and enjoyable.

Original poster
Daisy523 · 19/08/2023 10:55

Skyblue92 · 19/08/2023 08:13

I love playing the sims. Sims 4 is better now with the infant update - very much life like. I would look at mods for the sims 4 if you don’t use them already - adds so much to the gameplay.

enjoy the sims :)

Show quote history

I played sims 4 regularly with mods so when i got back into it, they were the first things I downloaded. I still wasn’t too mad on it unfortunately.

It is a fantastic game, but I think Sims 3 for me is more nostalgic though

OP posts:
Rheia1983 · 19/08/2023 11:42

Good for you that you picked up gaming again OP!

I turned 40 this year and am a lawyer by day while (currently) being a Diablo 4 demon exterminating necromancer at night.

I've been a gamer since I picked up Tetris in the 90s. I'll probably be gaming into my 90s in a nursing home too (if I make it that far)😃

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 15:36

that's so true though! in our nursing homes they are going to have to provide us with games consoles 😆

volunteers will be coming in and setting up and ancient Wii/ switch in the communal area for us all to switch to Mario party or something, instead of singing songs to us 😂

Mumto1boyo · 19/08/2023 16:08

I'm very particular about games I play. The only ones I consider perfect are:
Bayonetta series
Need for speed most wanted 2005 ediition
Fable 2 and 3
Stardew Valley and an old mmorpg called Trickster online.

GetTheGoodLookingGuy · 19/08/2023 16:28

Daisy523 · 18/08/2023 22:38

Update: So I went and bought myself a new laptop (needed one for general household stuff anyway), and reinstalled Sims 4.

After playing for about an hour, I realized I had missed the Sims - The Sims 3, that is. Sims 3 is still the best Sims and I will die on that hill!!!!

LOL, but seriously, thanks to everyone who encouraged me to actually get back into this as a hobby. I truly expected to be told to grow up, but instead got to read so many wholesome stories!

I’m excited to dive back into the world of Sims, and I can’t wait to try some recommendations I saw here. Especially the goose game! A world where my only ambition is to cause as much unnecessary chaos as I possibly can? Sign me up!

Nope, sorry, Sims 2 is the best Sims and I will die on that hill!

I tried Sims 4 briefly, but soon went back to 2, and still play it - I'm just about to load it up now, actually. I'm playing a neighbourhood I've been playing for over 10 years now.

Original poster
Daisy523 · 19/08/2023 17:14

GetTheGoodLookingGuy · 19/08/2023 16:28

Nope, sorry, Sims 2 is the best Sims and I will die on that hill!

I tried Sims 4 briefly, but soon went back to 2, and still play it - I'm just about to load it up now, actually. I'm playing a neighbourhood I've been playing for over 10 years now.

Show quote history

….. I will allow this. I started with the first ever Sims but very quickly moved onto Sims 2. Sims 2 on the PlayStation 2 was something I spent hours on before Sims 3 launched, so I agree it’s so good!

OP posts:
ANiceBigCupOfTea · 19/08/2023 17:22

I cant recommend gaming enough!!
My DH encouraged me to start after we lost our baby son and I was in a downward spiral.
There are so many amazing options out there. I'm a massive fan of the Last of Us. Also I love the Witcher, Skyrim and other open worlds. There is literally a game for everyone and every single taste.
Happy gaming to you ❤️

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 19/08/2023 17:24

Also, I love how amazing and supportive this thread has been but please do not be deterred if there's any negative comments. Unfortunately there can be a belief system on MN that the only way we must associate ourselves with gaming is when we look with disdain and disgust at our partners while they game.

tjugofem · 19/08/2023 17:28

SchoolBlazers · 19/08/2023 09:58

There are some very weird ideas on MN about gaming. Someone who spends 2 hours on an evening playing Fallout4 or Red Dead Redemption is a brain dead loser with no social skills, but on the other hand, doing a jigsaw, embroidery, watching soaps on telly or watching tik-tock videos is absolutely fine.

It's a hobby / passtime like any other and as long as it doesn't take over your life it's fun and enjoyable.

I agree. I used to have quite a negative view on "gamers", but after getting into it myself (and subsequently meeting many well-adjusted adults with professional jobs in this online MMO I play), my views on it have changed.

AndrewGarfieldsLaptop · 19/08/2023 17:28

I'm nearly 40, two kids, good career and play sims whenever I get the chance.

SherbetDips · 19/08/2023 17:43

The sims is so much fun!! Enjoy. I’m currently building a beach house.

Cowlover89 · 19/08/2023 17:46

I love playing games

Pirrip · 19/08/2023 18:16

I started playing Skyrim, at my DD's suggestion a few years ago - I was mid-50s. A couple of laptops later I have a very stable game with a 500+ mod list. I even made my own mod!

FrontEnd · 19/08/2023 20:14

Sorry for your loss @ANiceBigCupOfTea . Gaming (ok not all games) for mental health is underrated...it's absolutely my go-to for stress management. Lots of research into VR used in hospitals and nursing homes to aid with anxiety, pain management, games focusing on reaction/reflexes, and even improved memory retrieval https://www.digitalhealth.net/2023/04/immersive-technologies-such-as-virtual-reality-have-the-power-to-improve-care-and-change-lives/
Gaming is good for us!

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 20:19

Well, I wouldn’t personally recommend video games.

Sitting is terribly bad for your health. video games will suck you in and take up all your time and leave you with nothing to show for it (as you may remember from your Sims days! It certainly drew me in when I was 16/17 too, and I could easily play for 5+ hours straight).

I think life will be more fulfilling if you can get out to do real things with real people and move your body a bit. And yes meeting new people is exhausting as an introvert, I am one myself, but they’re only new for a while and then they become friends. Then you have new enriching relationships in your life. So much better than little computerised people.

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 20:23

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 20:19

Well, I wouldn’t personally recommend video games.

Sitting is terribly bad for your health. video games will suck you in and take up all your time and leave you with nothing to show for it (as you may remember from your Sims days! It certainly drew me in when I was 16/17 too, and I could easily play for 5+ hours straight).

I think life will be more fulfilling if you can get out to do real things with real people and move your body a bit. And yes meeting new people is exhausting as an introvert, I am one myself, but they’re only new for a while and then they become friends. Then you have new enriching relationships in your life. So much better than little computerised people.

would you post that on a thread asking if the OP should take up knitting?

or colouring picture books in?

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 20:31

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 20:23

would you post that on a thread asking if the OP should take up knitting?

or colouring picture books in?

Show quote history

Interesting question!

Colouring in - I wouldn’t recommend that as a hobby either, again lots of sitting and no social interaction. I guess I see it as less harmful though because people don’t tend to colour for hours at a time (or maybe they do?! I’m not a colourer!) it seems more like something would do for 15 mins here and there, like a jigsaw.

Knitting - Still the problem of loads of sitting, but I feel more positively about it because you are making something real that can be appreciated by yourself and others. Also, knitting is also something you can pick up and put down and multitask while chatting to others, listening to the radio, sitting in the garden, being a passenger in the car, waiting in the dentist’s surgery - etc!

The thing with gaming is that it keeps you in the same place, absorbs all your attention, for long stretches of time.
,

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 20:36

I’m not prejudiced against gaming btw, I think the same about watching lots of Film, TV, and even reading loads of books.

Why live life vicariously or in a world of fantasy? When I lie on my deathbed I want to remember the places I’ve seen, people I’ve met and the things we did together, things I have learned, skills I have mastered, you get the idea.

Fantasy and imagination are fine of course and I can see no harm in gaming an hour a day or whatever, but everyone knows how addictive it is, and life can just slip by.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 19/08/2023 20:36

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 20:19

Well, I wouldn’t personally recommend video games.

Sitting is terribly bad for your health. video games will suck you in and take up all your time and leave you with nothing to show for it (as you may remember from your Sims days! It certainly drew me in when I was 16/17 too, and I could easily play for 5+ hours straight).

I think life will be more fulfilling if you can get out to do real things with real people and move your body a bit. And yes meeting new people is exhausting as an introvert, I am one myself, but they’re only new for a while and then they become friends. Then you have new enriching relationships in your life. So much better than little computerised people.

You do realise that video gaming, doing activities with other people, and doing physical activities are not mutually exclusive? That it's perfectly possible to have more than one hobby and be a gamer who also runs and who also spends time with friends?

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 20:38

RichardMarxisinnocent · 19/08/2023 20:36

You do realise that video gaming, doing activities with other people, and doing physical activities are not mutually exclusive? That it's perfectly possible to have more than one hobby and be a gamer who also runs and who also spends time with friends?

Show quote history

Sure. It’s just that the OP said she had no other hobbies. And for a person like that, I wouldn’t recommend video gaming.

Just my opinion, I don’t expect everyone (or even anyone) to agree with me, but the OP asked, so I am sharing it.

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 20:55

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 20:31

Interesting question!

Colouring in - I wouldn’t recommend that as a hobby either, again lots of sitting and no social interaction. I guess I see it as less harmful though because people don’t tend to colour for hours at a time (or maybe they do?! I’m not a colourer!) it seems more like something would do for 15 mins here and there, like a jigsaw.

Knitting - Still the problem of loads of sitting, but I feel more positively about it because you are making something real that can be appreciated by yourself and others. Also, knitting is also something you can pick up and put down and multitask while chatting to others, listening to the radio, sitting in the garden, being a passenger in the car, waiting in the dentist’s surgery - etc!

The thing with gaming is that it keeps you in the same place, absorbs all your attention, for long stretches of time.
,

Show quote history

but these are down time hobbies, I have a horse that takes up plenty of time outside doing physical stuff, I have friends I've met down at the stables and through horses. I go to the gym once a week when I can be bothered. I go to a yoga class when I can be bothered too.

I work flexible hours that range from 25 to 40 hours a week. I have friends at work, I have friends local and far away. which I keep in regular contact with.

but when I'm knackered and worn out and just want time for me, instead of watching eastenders, corry or emmerdale.
I pop the ps or xbox on (we have both as dh games as well) and settle into a game, which keeps my mind active and relaxes me.

I have MMOs(multi player)that I play and have regular people I interact with on there, one or two are now FB friends, we message each other and keep up with each others real lives.

for games which are single player there are FB groups that I join to discuss the game with other people.

most games you can pick and put down, even in my live mmo games unless I'm I the middle of a boss fight you can just put it down at the drop of a hat.

what is really so bad with having down time? watching telly, MNing, watching tiktok, YouTube, knitting, colouring are all ways people unwind.

We cannot be productive every hour of the day, we cannot be in constant conversations with people.

and then you have the parents who don't get to go out for lack of babysitters or money, but they can enjoy themselves playing games instead of just flopping exhausted down infront of the TV for a couple of hours before going to bed.

FrontEnd · 19/08/2023 20:57

Everything in balance. My video gaming is 90% standing up (VR) and can get pretty active if I'm doing a Les Mills bodycombat sesh, beatsaber etc. I also play a competitive skill type game and through that have interacted with plenty of real people that I've really valued, from a vast array of countries and backgrounds I'd never get to know otherwise. Different from face-to-face, sure but in many cases more rewarding and a lot more fun than the normal ones I get to meet 😄

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 21:09

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 20:55

but these are down time hobbies, I have a horse that takes up plenty of time outside doing physical stuff, I have friends I've met down at the stables and through horses. I go to the gym once a week when I can be bothered. I go to a yoga class when I can be bothered too.

I work flexible hours that range from 25 to 40 hours a week. I have friends at work, I have friends local and far away. which I keep in regular contact with.

but when I'm knackered and worn out and just want time for me, instead of watching eastenders, corry or emmerdale.
I pop the ps or xbox on (we have both as dh games as well) and settle into a game, which keeps my mind active and relaxes me.

I have MMOs(multi player)that I play and have regular people I interact with on there, one or two are now FB friends, we message each other and keep up with each others real lives.

for games which are single player there are FB groups that I join to discuss the game with other people.

most games you can pick and put down, even in my live mmo games unless I'm I the middle of a boss fight you can just put it down at the drop of a hat.

what is really so bad with having down time? watching telly, MNing, watching tiktok, YouTube, knitting, colouring are all ways people unwind.

We cannot be productive every hour of the day, we cannot be in constant conversations with people.

and then you have the parents who don't get to go out for lack of babysitters or money, but they can enjoy themselves playing games instead of just flopping exhausted down infront of the TV for a couple of hours before going to bed.

Show quote history

Okay - well that sounds great! You sound like you have an interesting and fulfilling life, of course I have no problem with that.

The OP said she doesn’t have any hobbies, she just works and sleeps. She is mid 20s, with social anxiety.

I just thought it might be better for her to have a hobby that gets her out into the world a bit. Something that will help her tackle and hopefully overcome the anxiety eventually. 20s is prime time to be meeting people and finding out more about yourself as an adult. I would worry that with video games as her only hobby she would be missing out on the many opportunities we have when young to live life to its fullest. Plenty of time to sit at home on the sofa when you’re 45, knackered and have dodgy knees!

Having said that, I have now read all her posts and she seems super happy and excited about playing the Sims again, so I do feel a bit mean. I guess my advice would just be to go easy on it and try a few other things alongside it too.

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 21:12

Well troubleanstrife I've just searched your history and from what I can see you've spent quite a few hours today, yesterday and the day before posting on MN.

should you not be out there being a mover and shaker in the real world making more connections and experiencing life to the Max?

Why is your down time hours on MN ok?but others down time hours playing a computer game to be looked down upon?