Disability Social Workers

[OoopsOhNo]

When you have a severely disabled child, you are eligible for a bit of respite. If you need anything above the bare minimum level of respite, you usually need a social worker.

What this means, in some areas, is even if you have done nothing "wrong" as a parent, to get any rest you need to:

• Agree to be on a Child in Need plan (and go to meetings)
• "Safety score" your family at every CiN meeting, and believe it or not there is a right answer as '8' means you don't get services and '5' is child protection enquiry. Professionals also score you.
• There is a note at the bottom of the CiN that says although it is voluntary, if you "disengage" the LA can choose to step it up to a Child Protection matter.
• Agree to visits of your home (usually every 6 weeks) and you have to show them your child's bedroom. There is also a little box on their forms which asks if they have seen the child alone.
• Tell every hospital you take your child to that they have a social worker.
• The schools treat you differently (sometimes there is a big advantage to this, for example our schools remained open during strikes to children with social workers) but sometimes it comes with an extra level of sort of concealed monitoring that you can tell is safeguarding tick boxes.
• They haven't with us, but they can and do make comments about parenting which wouldn't meet the normal "thresholds" for intervention. I know MN always says Social Care don't have time for this, but perhaps there is an exception for people already open to them?? I have several friends who have experienced this.

I hate it. It is completely humiliating and it makes me just want to run away from it all (which of course we can't because we have a social worker...) Now, I understand some of the reasons - in theory - why it's like this (disabled children are particularly vulnerable to abuse) but it also feels like using a risk factor to exert coercive control over parents who happen to have had a disabled child.

I also know many parents who don't ask for extra respite because they don't want this.

AIBU to think it shouldn't be like this?

My sons SW has nothing to do with us. It's only her at CINs and she never takes notes. She never follows up on anything. I told her I was having a break down in March where she told me I was doing a fantastic job and I've not seen her since! I was supposed to have a cim in May but my mum died so it's very overdue.

Agency staff and a shit LA. I'm off radar and happy to be so. We get a respite package but I can't find anyone to employ

And yet, if you look at some of the rest of the experiences on this thread it appears to be quite common :(

Demeaning. Demoralising. Embarrassing. And all for an incompetent service.

Regarding seeing the children's bedroom, you should realise that you can decline this, in a genuine way and without fear.

There may well be a 'child's bedroom seen' and 'child spoken to alone' tick box, but as a CIN (as opposed to CP) parents have every right to decline this and lots do. Social Care don't have any right to enter your home or speak to your child alone without your consent. Withdrawing or denying that consent would not result in S47 assessment (for CP, which doesn't need consent) on its own, there would need to be significant grounds for it.

I (secondary DSL) can recall one family who had a son with additional needs, who also became a safeguarding CIN for neglect (entirely unrelated to his additional needs). In the 4 months he was on a CIN Plan parents denied SW access to the home, full stop - wouldn't let her inside and only spoke on the doorstep. Nothing SW could do to enforce this. Now as it happens, after 4 months police visited the house (on another separate matter) and took SW with them - this was the first time SW had been inside the house. The outcome was indeed a safeguarding CP Plan. In this case there were self-preservation reasons the parents didn't allow access, not just inconvenience. Once inside the home it was clear there was significant harm to child occurring.

The outcome of my story is two fold:

Firestly, you can deny access to the child and your home if you want to as a CIN. This is a national right by law, not LA specific. Lots of families do this.

Secondly, SW being suspicious of you denying consent isn't because they are being difficult. It's because they know that parents who are significantly harming their child will almost always be evasive. That doesn't mean that all evasive parents are significantly harming their child. I'm just pointing out that the reason it spikes a SWs senses is logical and rational.

But that said - you still have rights to decline and as long as their are no other concerns, children's services have to respect this.

I mean, they must not have a conscience because if anything happens social care will know they did absolutely nothing to help except sit and watch a family fail.

Imo, that is exactly the policy often!

Can anyone point me to any law that says if CIN need to have notes and those given to the parents please?

Most of this is driven by the managers. I asked mine how often we should cins, how should come, should there be notes. They don't know! Even the complaints manager doesn't know. You bet your life they don't care. No manager is that thick.

I had a disability SW involved for 12 years due to my DD having severe disabilities- she is now 18 and no longer under SS. I too had the pressure from them to do things "by the book" and there were times when I found them particularly intrusive in terms of how the house was or my childrens' bedrooms and even now I get paranoid if someone passes comment on the cleanliness of the house. Also it seemed as though everyone sided with the SW at one time and I was the one made to feel a bad parent. As my Mum once said "the SW should look after DD before making judgements" which made me feel better.

@EmmatheStageRat knowing your situation (we have spoken under another name) I think the priority is getting any and all support possible from whichever source available rather than focusing on which team. Technically, there is nothing preventing both teams from having input, although that can sometimes complicate matters, so it depends on what your local teams are like as to whether that is preferable.

Can anyone point me to any law that says if CIN need to have notes and those given to the parents please?

I ask for the notes of official meetings. Sometimes, they are pathetic!

I usually take my own minutes, and circulate them after the meeting, as soon as I have time to type them up, telling every one, these are to the best of my recollection; but if they disagree they have 10 days to send me their comments. If I don't hear from them, then I will assume they accept my minutes.

Anyway, look up online "SCIE Social work recording". It says inter alia, that

"Recording is vital:

It supports good care and support
It is a legal requirement and part of staff's professional duty
It promotes continuity of care and communication with other agencies...."

It also goes onto talk about accuracy of recording.

You can always do a subject access request in respect of DC and yourself to see what notes SS have kept on CIN meetings.

We have CIN for both our disabled sons. It is so depressing but I see it as a trade off for support.

Our most embarrassing moment was DS1 was in hospital for a planned minor dental op under GA. The DSW ended up ringing the dental team enquiring after him as it had flashed as emergency hospital admittance!!! I was mortified.

I suggest those of you with disabled DC, and especially those treated as incipient child abusers by SS, fill in this consultation on “Working Together”, the guidelines for assessing children in safeguarding concerns; or disabled children:

https://consult.education.gov.uk/child-protection-safeguarding-division/working-together-to-safeguard-children-changes-to/consultation/intro/

The consultation closes on September 6th 2023.

I always felt Working Together was written for children under safe guarding, and disabled children were added in later, because they couldn’t be bothered writing another one, tailored for disabled children!

Thanks for this! I'll definitely be doing this.