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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Disability Social Workers

113 replies

OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 08:22

When you have a severely disabled child, you are eligible for a bit of respite. If you need anything above the bare minimum level of respite, you usually need a social worker.

What this means, in some areas, is even if you have done nothing "wrong" as a parent, to get any rest you need to:

  • Agree to be on a Child in Need plan (and go to meetings)
  • "Safety score" your family at every CiN meeting, and believe it or not there is a right answer as '8' means you don't get services and '5' is child protection enquiry. Professionals also score you.
  • There is a note at the bottom of the CiN that says although it is voluntary, if you "disengage" the LA can choose to step it up to a Child Protection matter.
  • Agree to visits of your home (usually every 6 weeks) and you have to show them your child's bedroom. There is also a little box on their forms which asks if they have seen the child alone.
  • Tell every hospital you take your child to that they have a social worker.
  • The schools treat you differently (sometimes there is a big advantage to this, for example our schools remained open during strikes to children with social workers) but sometimes it comes with an extra level of sort of concealed monitoring that you can tell is safeguarding tick boxes.
  • They haven't with us, but they can and do make comments about parenting which wouldn't meet the normal "thresholds" for intervention. I know MN always says Social Care don't have time for this, but perhaps there is an exception for people already open to them?? I have several friends who have experienced this.

I hate it. It is completely humiliating and it makes me just want to run away from it all (which of course we can't because we have a social worker...) Now, I understand some of the reasons - in theory - why it's like this (disabled children are particularly vulnerable to abuse) but it also feels like using a risk factor to exert coercive control over parents who happen to have had a disabled child.

I also know many parents who don't ask for extra respite because they don't want this.

AIBU to think it shouldn't be like this?

OP posts:
OvertakenByLego · 12/08/2023 19:18

so the local disabilities team won’t take her on their case load as she has no intellectual disability.

@EmmatheStageRat that policy is unlawful. If you want to look further at this Luke Clements has written about it.

Original poster
OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 19:18

Some of these stories are so sad and so familiar.

In a way I think we were "lucky" (?) that DC were so obviously disabled (non-verbal autism, intellectual disability etc) but because there is no congenital genetic difference and it is behavioural, we still get judged.

I have heard lots about NT children in ND households been classed as CiN then doctors etc treating parents as abusers. I don't have NT children though, but I know if I did that would crush me.

OP posts:
Original poster
OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 19:20

@sparkiesparkle "I cannot do it again" I was on the brink of asking social care to fake my much loved, cherished DC into residential care and a massive proportion of that had nothing to do with their needs but the ritual humiliation circus.

OP posts:
OvertakenByLego · 12/08/2023 19:23

PurpleBugz · 12/08/2023 17:59

My son has no school place as no school can meet need. But I have CIN meetings at my house or zoom. I can't attend them in person because I have to care for my child.

But I agree with you is invasive. We took ages to get a disability SW and I must say the disability one is better than the ones assessing my parenting saying "good parent we have no role so no help offered".

It comes down to how much you need the help. I'm desperate so will do anything

If DS is CSA and can’t attend school, the LA must provide alternative arrangements to ensure DS receives a suitable full-time education. If DS has an EHCP, you can also look at an EOTAS package via that. If the doesn’t have an EHCP, you should request an EHCNA.

EmmatheStageRat · 12/08/2023 19:29

OvertakenByLego · 12/08/2023 19:18

so the local disabilities team won’t take her on their case load as she has no intellectual disability.

@EmmatheStageRat that policy is unlawful. If you want to look further at this Luke Clements has written about it.

@OvertakenByLego thank you so much, I will be all over this tonight!

Original poster
OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 20:15

@OvertakenByLego doesn't matter how many times I remind my LA about this, my DC is still without an education. Awful situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 20:16

OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 19:20

@sparkiesparkle "I cannot do it again" I was on the brink of asking social care to fake my much loved, cherished DC into residential care and a massive proportion of that had nothing to do with their needs but the ritual humiliation circus.

*take

OP posts:
OvertakenByLego · 12/08/2023 20:21

OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 20:15

@OvertakenByLego doesn't matter how many times I remind my LA about this, my DC is still without an education. Awful situation.

You can enforce provision via judicial review if necessary. Email the Director of Children’s Services reminding them of their duty under s.19 of the Education Act 1996 (and s.42 CAFA if DC has provision detailed, specified and quantified in F of an EHCP that they are not receiving) and threatening judicial review if they do not comply. If that doesn’t work, you need a pre-action letter.

Alongside the above, you should request an early review of their EHCP or request an EHCNA if they don't already have an EHCP.

Cubic · 12/08/2023 20:35

Sossen can do pre action letters

Polik · 12/08/2023 20:39

I'm DSL in a school on the boarder between two local authorities.

In one LA, all children with an EHCP are automatically also on CIN Plans with CIN meetings

In the other LA, children with disabilities get a named SW with the children's disability service, who is their advocate and contribute to EHCP reviews. Not CIN Plans tho, they are only for safeguarding issues.

Purplepeaches123 · 12/08/2023 20:40

My son is an adult now in his twenties but as a child under 18 he had respite for years. We never had to sign anything or tell anyone he had a social worker.

Social services will more than likely be paying the cost of the respite so of course they need to be involved. The SW did visit every now and then and just used to poke her head round the bedroom door but it definitely wasn’t every 6 weeks. The only thing that really used to upset me was when my son turned 18 I had to apply to the Court of Protection for a Deprivation of Liberty because we locked doors sr night to keep him safe so as he couldn’t leave of his own free will the COUP has to agreed that’s ok!

Purplepeaches123 · 12/08/2023 20:41

Polik · 12/08/2023 20:39

I'm DSL in a school on the boarder between two local authorities.

In one LA, all children with an EHCP are automatically also on CIN Plans with CIN meetings

In the other LA, children with disabilities get a named SW with the children's disability service, who is their advocate and contribute to EHCP reviews. Not CIN Plans tho, they are only for safeguarding issues.

Agree it must vary between LA’s. My son is an adult now but as a child we never had anything like that.

OvertakenByLego · 12/08/2023 20:44

SOSSEN is completely overwhelmed by requests for pre-action letters at the moment. I don’t know whether they have reopened their list now, but they had closed it.

EmmatheStageRat · 12/08/2023 20:44

Polik · 12/08/2023 20:39

I'm DSL in a school on the boarder between two local authorities.

In one LA, all children with an EHCP are automatically also on CIN Plans with CIN meetings

In the other LA, children with disabilities get a named SW with the children's disability service, who is their advocate and contribute to EHCP reviews. Not CIN Plans tho, they are only for safeguarding issues.

@Polik this just highlights how rubbish my LA is. DD1 finally has an EHCP (it took me three years to achieve). She is only on a CIN plan because police attended on a 999 call. DD is blind and she is diagnosed with ADHD and autism among other disabilities. It makes me realise that we are living in a cave-man borough disability wise.

Thighdentitycrisis · 12/08/2023 20:50

.

itsgettingweird · 12/08/2023 21:06

In my LA you'd spend more effort trying to actually get a SW so you can access services than they would spend doing any social work.

I never did get one for my disabled ds - not even when he said he was going to end his life after being the victim of knife crime and I'd been awake for 3 days with him.

I just kept being told whenever we had a conversation I was very in tune with my child's needs and how to meet them.

They couldn't get that knowing how to meet need and being physically able too weren't one of the same.

Original poster
OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 21:54

Polik · 12/08/2023 20:39

I'm DSL in a school on the boarder between two local authorities.

In one LA, all children with an EHCP are automatically also on CIN Plans with CIN meetings

In the other LA, children with disabilities get a named SW with the children's disability service, who is their advocate and contribute to EHCP reviews. Not CIN Plans tho, they are only for safeguarding issues.

This is fascinating- which works better in your experience?

OP posts:
Thighdentitycrisis · 12/08/2023 21:55

procedures vary across LA’s but my understanding is that under S17 of the Children’s Act all children with a disability are CIN and the LA has a legal obligation to safeguard them, this includes assessing parenting capacity. I would think that process has to be fair and impartial for all families. Your children’s bedroom might be fine, others might not, but I would guess everyone has to be assessed with the same tool.

Original poster
OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 22:05

Thighdentitycrisis · 12/08/2023 21:55

procedures vary across LA’s but my understanding is that under S17 of the Children’s Act all children with a disability are CIN and the LA has a legal obligation to safeguard them, this includes assessing parenting capacity. I would think that process has to be fair and impartial for all families. Your children’s bedroom might be fine, others might not, but I would guess everyone has to be assessed with the same tool.

An LA can choose how to discharge that duty though and overly onerous, intrusive or inflexible approaches are going to stop families seeking help, which might actually increase the risk of safeguarding issues.

OP posts:
Thighdentitycrisis · 12/08/2023 22:07

Very true. It sounds like a minefield

toddlermum27 · 12/08/2023 22:14

If I was you (and if I had the energy) I would challenge your LA's practice of treatment disability child in need plans the same as safeguarding child in need plans. Non disability child in need plans are very close to child protection and do need the close review of when the balance would tip to needing a cp plan. Although of course there can be safeguarding concerns for disabled children, disabled children are eligible for a child in need plan due to their disability alone, so it's outrageous that all these safeguarding measures automatically apply. Not every LA manages children with disabilities in this way, I'm really sorry this is your experience.

EmmatheStageRat · 12/08/2023 22:38

toddlermum27 · 12/08/2023 22:14

If I was you (and if I had the energy) I would challenge your LA's practice of treatment disability child in need plans the same as safeguarding child in need plans. Non disability child in need plans are very close to child protection and do need the close review of when the balance would tip to needing a cp plan. Although of course there can be safeguarding concerns for disabled children, disabled children are eligible for a child in need plan due to their disability alone, so it's outrageous that all these safeguarding measures automatically apply. Not every LA manages children with disabilities in this way, I'm really sorry this is your experience.

@toddlermum27 thank you, this has slightly boggled my exhausted post-camping holiday mind. So, my DD is a PLAC and is disabled and is now back on a CIN plan. How should I proceed?

boboshmobo · 12/08/2023 23:24

@OoopsOhNo I'm sure it will come . For me it's just a means to an end .

My sons bedroom is super tidy so they probably wondered where his toys are .. again I don't care . I know I'm doing my best and having a child with sn is tiring and relentless .

Don't be so hard on yourself

MaCrepeSuzette · 12/08/2023 23:49

This doesn't happen in my LA, my DS gets respite (4 hours a week), and although we were referred by a social worker, we didn't have to do any of the things that you mention in your OP. They just came and met DS and we had a chat.

Desiredeffect · 12/08/2023 23:55

When my dad was young she's a adult. Now. We had one till she was 12 and the school invited one to her annual review every year till I told them I don't want them there just because she's disabled it. Does not mean she needs a social worker. Dd still doesn't want one at 23 so I said it'd upto her now