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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Jewellers ruined wedding ring days before wedding

30 replies

Van34 · 11/08/2023 15:15

I am your typical stressed bride atm. Everything needs sorting and I'm trying to fit it in around a full time job. One of the jobs is to get my wedding ring resized as it doesn't fit as nicely as i had hoped.
Took it to a local jewellers for them to resize it for me. Brilliant. One less job on my list.

Only problem is, I've gone to pick it up and found that my once super shiny ring now resembles brushed aluminium. It literally could not get any more matt. Why they have messed about with the front with the diamond settings when resizing is done to the back is beyond me. But to rub salt in the wounds... the back of it remains shiny.

Someone please tell me this can be fixed. Of all the wedding, this was my only extravagance because I'll wear it forever. I am so upset and angry.

OP posts:
Uncooperativefingers · 11/08/2023 15:16

It should be easy for them to polish for you. What did they say when you asked?

Anytimeitrains · 11/08/2023 15:17

Have you asked them to fix it op? I’m sure they can

VeridicalVagabond · 11/08/2023 15:18

What did the jeweler say about it? It should be simple enough for them to polish it again surely?

Greffabtra · 11/08/2023 15:19

Talk to the jeweller who did it and tell them what you want and get them to fix it for free.

Original poster
Van34 · 11/08/2023 15:19

They initially tried to argue that's how it was when I gave it to them. Then accepted that they didn't think it was right when they called me to let me know it was back. They have said they will send it away to be sorted but not only do I lack trust now. They only have one return delivery a week and if it misses this return run I won't have a ring for my wedding.

OP posts:
SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 11/08/2023 15:21

They should be able to fix it but I would buy an emergency back up ring just in case it isn't back on time.

Doggymummar · 11/08/2023 15:22

You can use a substitute ring no need to panic

Original poster
Van34 · 11/08/2023 15:25

I'm going to look at backup rings. I'm just so upset because this ring is particularly unique so I'll not find anything similar. The whole wedding is a relaxed affair, BBQ drinks reception etc the rings were our one important purchase.

OP posts:
SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 11/08/2023 15:27

Your ring can still be your main ring, just buy a backup for the big day. I'd just get something simple and maybe don't get any close up photos of the rings? You could always take pictures of them once you get yours back?

Workawayxx · 11/08/2023 16:36

What a pain! Can you get the ring back and ring round some other jewellery places to see if they can do a polish in house so that at least it won't be sent away?

Fairyliz · 11/08/2023 16:42

By the time DH and I got around to buying wedding rings we had run out of money so literally had to buy the cheapest ring in the shop which cost £14.
That was 35 years ago; I’m still married and still got the ring. We could afford new ones but why bother? At the end of the day being married to a good man is what matters not ‘stuff’. You will still have a wonderful day even if you use a curtain ring as a substitute.

bluecorn · 11/08/2023 16:43

It doesn't sound like a relaxed affair if you describe yourself as a "typical stressed bride". How are you feeling about the day, is it what you wanted?

Instead of being stressed and angry, can you reframe it as this (hopefully!) being your only wedding hiccup, and now you can add a small meaningful thing just for you and DH with the real ring a week later?

Caroparo52 · 11/08/2023 16:44

Enjoy your wedding and sort the ring out properly when its all over. Remember the most important part.....It's about getting married, not the ring

Clymene · 11/08/2023 16:45

Honestly I would have just kept it as it was if they have a send it off and there's a chance you won't have it back in time.

Wenfy · 11/08/2023 16:46

Go to any local Indian or Jewish jeweller - if you google there are lists. These guys can polish the ring there and then. I got mine done in Birmingham while I had my lunch

BarbaraV · 11/08/2023 16:49

Keep it how it is and get it fixed after. No big deal.

LadyPoison · 11/08/2023 16:51

Why they have messed about with the front with the diamond settings when resizing is done to the back is beyond me

That's an easy one. The stones were set in a ring with a certain curvature. When making jewellery, setting stones is pretty much the final stage.

Change that curvature by resizing and it can strain the settings so the stones are less secure. Any decent jeweller will either be removing and resetting the stones or at the very least checking that they are still secure.

If they had to re-set some of the stones, that can mark the silver and make it look matt. It needs a good re-polish. Why that wasn't done before returning it to you is a mystery but probably an oversight.

LadyPoison · 11/08/2023 16:53

Wenfy · 11/08/2023 16:46

Go to any local Indian or Jewish jeweller - if you google there are lists. These guys can polish the ring there and then. I got mine done in Birmingham while I had my lunch

Any local independent maker can do that. Ask on a local facebook group. There'll be someone close by who can do it.

I'd offer to do it for her myself if knew she was anywhere close.

Kendodd · 11/08/2023 16:54

Take some advice from an old (happily) married women, your wedding doesn't matter, don't overly stress about things being 'perfect' because they won't be. It's your marriage that's important, not the wedding. Just wear the ring and be happy. Congratulations, good luck and have a great day 😀

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 11/08/2023 16:55

Van34 · 11/08/2023 15:25

I'm going to look at backup rings. I'm just so upset because this ring is particularly unique so I'll not find anything similar. The whole wedding is a relaxed affair, BBQ drinks reception etc the rings were our one important purchase.

This is so not worth being upset over. What matters is you are marrying the person you love in front of the people you care about.
Believe me, there is no point in the future at which the shininess or otherwise of your ring will seem like an important aspect of the day.

(Yanbu to be pissed off that they’ve messed it up but yabu to think it matters.)

I hope you have a lovely wedding day x

timetoringthechanges · 11/08/2023 17:02

Try www.samarajames.com as my daft friend who is getting married next week got a ring in under a week from there....They had one in stock and sized it for him.

LuvSmallDogs · 11/08/2023 17:11

One day, this will be a "we've all been there" story you share with a friend or family member who is stressing about their own wedding. Let them send it back, and get a cheap back up just in case. Deep breath, you're marrying the man you love and celebrating it with friends and family - that's what matters. :)

AnaNimmity · 11/08/2023 17:20

I’d be pushing for a replacement tbh, or at least some compensation - when they buffed it to be matte finish, that involved taking some of the metal away.

When they polish it again to be shiny, that will take away a bit more too.

All polishing involves removing some of the thing being polished. The ring will weigh far less now than it did before which is obviously an issue with precious metals.

You should be pushing for them to make good the financial loss you have experienced as a result of their mistake.

UpaladderwatchingTV · 11/08/2023 17:22

It's so funny how this sort of thing really matters to a woman when planning her wedding, and then in years to come you realise that NOTHING about the day, other than the person you love turning up and saying the necessary words matters. I've been married for almost 25 years, and I can honestly say that we're even happier now than we were on our wedding day. I had to have my wedding ring cut off about 10 years ago, and have never given more than a passing thought to getting it fixed, or replacing it, so maybe that shows how unimportant it really is? Just relax OP, it really doesn't matter in the least, it will be sorted out at some point, and everything will be fine.