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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband called strangers children stupid

54 replies

Miya24 · 10/08/2023 21:52

I took my 4 year old DD to a adventure playground with my dh. One of the attractions was a small maze with two entrances and a large tower in the middle so I stood at one end and he stood at the other to keep an eye on her.

There were two older kids at the side nearest my dh who looked to be about 8 who were generally running around having fun.

About 5 minutes later the two children approached their parent who was next to me and said that man over there called me stupid, while pointing at my dh. Kids dad seemed not to fussed and said well you probably were doing something stupid but the other parent looked unimpressed.

I quickly went around to asked dh what happened and he explained that the kids were trying to scale the outside of the tower (which wasn't meant to be climbed on) and DD had asked him what they were doing to and wanted assistance in copying them. He responded "they're being stupid, don't do that" which the kids obviously overheard.

I understand he didn't want DD trying to copy them but I asked if he had to call them stupid and why didn't he say silly or dangerous. DH is of the opinion that they were being stupid so he called them stupid. Upon further questioning DH hoped that, with the children being within earshot that they would reconsider their actions, especially with impressionable young children around.

It obviously didn't come to anything so it's not a big deal but aibu to think husband shouldn't have called them stupid (especially in earshot of the kids).

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 10/08/2023 21:54

What’s your AIBU because I honestly couldn’t bring myself to care less about any of this.

BitOutOfPractice · 10/08/2023 21:54

Honestly, unclench. It’s a total non event.

Hankunamatata · 10/08/2023 21:54

Well they were doing somthing stupid

Janieforever · 10/08/2023 21:54

I think your husband could have chosen his words better yes and he should have recognised these are children, not little people to abuse.

Curtains70 · 10/08/2023 21:55

How are you even still thinking about such a none event? YABU

L3ThirtySeven · 10/08/2023 21:56

He didn’t call children stupid, he called what they were doing stupid and it was stupid.

Jamtartforme · 10/08/2023 21:56

Janieforever · 10/08/2023 21:54

I think your husband could have chosen his words better yes and he should have recognised these are children, not little people to abuse.

Abuse? For crying out loud

sanityisamyth · 10/08/2023 21:56

L3ThirtySeven · 10/08/2023 21:56

He didn’t call children stupid, he called what they were doing stupid and it was stupid.

This.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/08/2023 21:56

He didn’t exactly call them stupid, he said they were being stupid. But being silly would be better.

Clefable · 10/08/2023 21:57

He said they were doing something stupid, not that they were stupid, surely? Kids often do things that are stupid without it making them stupid as people.

Anyway I don't think it's worth fretting over. If they were doing something unsafe then maybe it gave them pause.

Macaroni46 · 10/08/2023 21:57

L3ThirtySeven · 10/08/2023 21:56

He didn’t call children stupid, he called what they were doing stupid and it was stupid.

^This

Complete non-issue

WunWun · 10/08/2023 21:58

I think what he said was fine.

L3ThirtySeven · 10/08/2023 21:58

I don’t think “silly” is accurate for scaling the outside of a leg/arm/head breaking tower. It was stupid.

Quibbling over his word choice to suggest less accurate words is unreasonable nitpicking.

Miya24 · 10/08/2023 21:58

As an update the kid did climb on top of the tower and get stuck so yes it was stupid. I'm honestly not clenched about it husband and I just wondered what aibu would think.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 10/08/2023 21:58

So he didn't call them stupid, that was their take on it. My GC's Uncle and Step dad would have challenged him, but he didn't actually say that, so it would be fine. After a few confrontations, he'll probably reconsider his choice of words.

MossCow · 10/08/2023 22:00

BitOutOfPractice · 10/08/2023 21:54

What’s your AIBU because I honestly couldn’t bring myself to care less about any of this.

Yes. Nothing has happened.

BitOutOfPractice · 10/08/2023 22:00

If you’re still wondering about it now you need to get hobbies or something!

andloqa · 10/08/2023 22:01

They were being stupid 🤷‍♀️

Aquamarine1029 · 10/08/2023 22:02

The kids were being stupid. Perfect choice of words.

Hummingbird89 · 10/08/2023 22:03

@Janieforever abuse?!! Ffs get a grip 🙄
OP YABU. They WERE being stupid. And deserve to be told so.

TregunaMekoides · 10/08/2023 22:04

I wouldn't have an issue with it.

Personally I don't like the word Stupid, so would have preferred silly or dangerous, but that's a totally personal thing. Ultimately your DH was right - it was a "stupid" thing to do.

Miya24 · 10/08/2023 22:05

Husband is enjoying everyone agreeing with him 😁 I've had parents confront over much smaller things so I guess I'm more careful about what I say. (Mum telling me off for confronting her kids in soft play who was throwing toys at my head).

OP posts:
VinEtFromage · 10/08/2023 22:05

He didn't call them stupid, he rightly called their behaviour STUPID.

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 10/08/2023 22:07

I bet you're fun at parties.

Saschka · 10/08/2023 22:08

You seem more bothered about this than the other children’s parents!

And the fact the kids later got stuck up the tower proves your DH right, doesn’t it?

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