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Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

This is a petty one…

67 replies

Hadenough2021 · 10/08/2023 19:24

DH went on and on about having a picture of me in a specific outfit, nothing rude just a top and jacket he really likes. A selfie to be precise. I’m not big on pictures in general and I’m not sure I’ve ever taken a selfie (I know, weird) I’m 31 in case you were interested, have a good level of confidence, I’m a good weight, wear make up and do my hair everyday just not big on selfies 🤷‍♀️

So after some badgering I finally took one (well he thinks I took one but I probably took 200 and just sent him the one I liked) and he straight away set it as his phone background. Fast forward a week, he came home from work, gave his phone to our 1 year old for entertainment and I noticed I’m not the background anymore. But about a hour later I’m the background again. The next day he comes home and I’m not the background. But then later in the evening I’m the background again. I met him for lunch during the work day, I’m not the background. In the evening, I’m the background again. All weekend I was the background. He’s just come home from work and I’m not the bloody background 🙈.

Now I do realise how ludicrous this post is. And although I noticed when I was no longer the background I wasn’t bothered by it. What I’m irritated by is the fact that he’s changing it to go to work. Is he embarrassed by me? If so why badger me for a picture. And don’t bloody change it back for my benefit in the evenings. Between a full time job two kids and elderly parents I couldn’t care less if the background is the neighbours dog. But for some reason I care that he’s going to that level of effort and I’m wondering why.

Before anyone jumps on me it’s not a revolving screensaver it isn’t an iPhone, it’s barely a smart phone. My phone has that feature, his does not.

OP posts:

Tilllly · 10/08/2023 20:33

Hadenough2021 · 10/08/2023 20:30

And for absolute clarity, still not an iPhone.

Are you sure it's not an iPhone...?

😁

Someoneonlyyouknow · 10/08/2023 20:33

I am very technologically challenged so no help really. Think you need to ask him and post response here (and maybe get him an iPhone for Christmas, apparently they have some great features)

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 10/08/2023 20:33

Hadenough2021 · 10/08/2023 20:26

Love how few people read the post properly. No it’s not an iPhone. No it doesn’t rotate pictures for different backgrounds. No it’s not his work phone, it’s his personal phone. And I also don’t thing it’s about keep work and personal separate, we work for the same company.

He can’t be having an affair then if you work for the same company.

Are you sure it’s not just doing it automatically or is he putting controls on his phone everytime his DC go on it which restricts access to the photos.

Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 10/08/2023 20:35

For the different settings for my phone it has different wallpaper so if he has it on 'work' then different wallpaper same for 'sleep'

Surely that's the only answer?

Original poster

Hadenough2021 · 10/08/2023 20:36

Is it an iPhone?

OP posts:

Threenow · 10/08/2023 20:39

It astounds me what sort of relationships some people have. Can you not simply ask your DH why?

BestMammyEver · 10/08/2023 20:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

Hadenough2021 · 10/08/2023 20:45

@Threenow yeah you’re right. I’ve dared to question something so my marriage must be in the toilet. Were you born in the 60’s by any chance?

OP posts:

inky1991 · 10/08/2023 21:13

are you not going to ask him?

Fedupwitheveryone · 10/08/2023 21:23

OKAY so we are all agreed it's NOT AN IPHONE.

However, even older phones can have one photo for lock screen, one for wallpaper. Sounds very muck like it could be that?

Doingtheboxerbeat · 10/08/2023 21:27

So many people getting hung up on the technical side but ignoring what a previous poster said about the modern equivalent of taking off your wedding ring 🤔. It's a little bit suspicious.

cruffinsmuffin · 10/08/2023 21:33

Hmmm in my mind, perhaps someone made a comment about it at work so he swapped it? Maybe a joke about being whipped for having a photo of his wife as his background? Or another man made a comment?

Apart from that I'd maybe think he was hiding his relationship perhaps?

Unless he works in a situation where he can't have family photos? My dad wasn't able to have anything personal in his office / as his phone background (basically anything anyone would see) due to the nature of the job.

Tbh I'd probably plump for hiding the relationship over my other slightly more far fetched idea's 😬

Threenow · 10/08/2023 21:50

Hadenough2021 · 10/08/2023 20:45

@Threenow yeah you’re right. I’ve dared to question something so my marriage must be in the toilet. Were you born in the 60’s by any chance?

I'm becoming rather worried by the comprehension skills on MN these days. I didn't say you shouldn't question something, just that you are questioning the wrong people.

It astounds me what sort of relationships some people have. Can you not simply ask your DH why?

Where does anything in those two sentances say your marriage is in the toilet? I am merely struggling to understand why you, and many of the posters on MN, don't just ask their partners the answer to these questions instead of posting here and getting ridiculous responses which ultimately don't give you the answer as none of us can possibly know. I mean, asking random strangers on MN if your DH is embarrassed by you???? Just ask him!!!!!!!

m00rfarm · 10/08/2023 21:54

One photo for background lock screen and one for wallpaper. Surely that is the answer.

FlamingYam · 10/08/2023 21:56

Are you sure it's not an iPhone? He could have a porn or gambling addiction which means he absolutely is hiding the brand of the phone from you. As well as all his bad acts.

LTB.

FlamingYam · 10/08/2023 21:57

That's a joke. Just in case.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 10/08/2023 22:07

Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 10/08/2023 20:35

For the different settings for my phone it has different wallpaper so if he has it on 'work' then different wallpaper same for 'sleep'

Surely that's the only answer?

This sounds plausible? If he has a more discreet ringtone or something he's programmed for a 'work' setting? And it defaults to the Samsung background and he hasn't bothered to set the photo on that one too?

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