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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To change our break away so short notice?

66 replies

riannabb · 08/08/2023 13:25

Me and my boyfriend are off next week.
We have our main holiday booked in 12 weeks time to Gran Canaria which I'm really excited for and can't wait for sunshine but seeing everyone going away now has made me not want to wait.
So I mentioned last week to partner I wouldn't mind going away.
Obviously I'm looking at last min breaks etc and he comes home and tells me he has booked us 3 nights in Ireland.
Cue me being Mega disappointed
I don't want to look ungrateful but I'm disappointed
He has paid for the flights already but hotel is pay on arrival-he has Also booked us to go to the zoo
Would it be so bad if I went ahead and booked a last min holiday abroad instead?
And just took a loss of the £100 flights and £35 zoo that he's already paid for.
Like I say I don't want to seem ungrateful
We were abroad In April too but that was only 5 nights and November thankfully is a week but November is so far away.

OP posts:
HaveANiceFuckingDay · 08/08/2023 15:26

I'd be disappointed too. I'm a beach and sun person. What's the point of going somewhere where the weather is crap and not much different to any part of the UK.
I wouldn't cancel tho as you've other holidays booked. I would tell him tho as grateful as you are you'd prefer a holiday in the sun next time

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 08/08/2023 15:26

If l wanted a sit by the pool sunny holiday, l wouldn't want to go to lreland either!! Plus l hate surprises so l wouldn't like this either op.
But l also hate waste so would see if the flights could be transferred

Whaleandsnail6 · 08/08/2023 15:27

Yeah you would he unreasonable to change it. You will have had 2 sun type holidays this year, let him plan this city break one.

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 08/08/2023 15:28

And just because some people can't afford a holiday, why should op be grateful for having to go somewhere she doesn't want to go?!

Brefugee · 08/08/2023 15:28

don't book a different holiday without speaking to him. This is what got you here in the first place.

LittleBearPad · 08/08/2023 15:31

I’d far rather go on a City Break than the Med however if you wouldn’t OP you can tell him. But maybe expand your horizons a bit.

Disgruntledpelicanlady · 08/08/2023 15:31

He obviously wants to go or he wouldn't have booked it?
Maybe let him have this one.

Side note - Belfast zoo is lovely!

Thankgoodnessforabitofsun · 08/08/2023 15:32

Why do people book things without checking with each other. I’d be annoyed too if someone booked for me to go somewhere I wasn’t keen on. I happen not to like sunbathing holidays so might prefer Dublin to whatever the OP has in mind but that’s not the point

Hollyppp · 08/08/2023 15:32

YABU - just go on this trip, sounds lovely!

Seafarer · 08/08/2023 15:34

It depends if you only see a holiday as sitting by a pool or not. If you like spending time with your boyfriend surely going anywhere is an adventure and fun together?

Personally I would not cancel it but I do think you should have a discussion with your boyfriend as if he likes city breaks and you only like sun/sea breaks its better to have that out in the open now.

I do understand being fed up with rain at home though!

MrsSamR · 08/08/2023 15:35

Jeez maybe OP's partner doesn't enjoy boring sun holidays to the Canary Islands! Tenerife and Gran Canaria are literally both in the same small group of islands and maybe he just wanted something different - poor man!

purplecorkheart · 08/08/2023 15:35

Maybe he wants a city break rather than a sun holiday. Sorry but I don't think your ideal holiday trumps his.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/08/2023 15:36

Did you tell him that you were hoping for a last minute sunshine break? Did he know what you had in mind?

On the one hand, a trip to Ireland sounds lovely, and you have a different kind of break booked later in the year.

On the other hand, it’s not totally on to book something for a person without asking them - particularly if you know they are looking at something different.

RachelGreep87 · 08/08/2023 15:37

The Falls Road is simply beautiful at this time of year

Forgoodnesssakewhatnow · 08/08/2023 15:37

You’re getting a bit of a hard time about being spoilt. But ultimately one partner unilaterally choosing and booking something isn’t on in my opinion.

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 08/08/2023 15:40

If you'd just said you fancy going "away" that's one thing, but if I had specifically said I wanted to get away from this interminable rain, and he wanted a city break, I'd have expected my BF to book a couple of nights in somewhere like Barcelona or Madrid.

Christmasbird · 08/08/2023 15:41

He can take me if he wants, I'm less hard work and generally a bit more grateful

pizzaHeart · 08/08/2023 15:44

I think it’s a bit of communication problem. You wanted to go away for a break with him and told him so. He booked what was a good break from his point of view. I completely understand your disappointment- money and time off work are both limited resources so it’s better to use it wisely. However even if the break he’s booked was not your favorite type of break it’s actually very nice. I would relax and do another thread asking people for advices about places to visit, to eat etc.

Just be clear next time if you want a specific thing. As my DH always says : Pizzaheart, I’m not a mind reader, just tell me what you want.

Seafarer · 08/08/2023 15:44

'What's the point of going somewhere where the weather is crap and not much different to any part of the UK.'

Have you really never enjoyed visiting anywhere else in the UK? Not enjoyed the city sights in Edinburgh or London, history in Bath or York, seafood on the coast, climbing Ben Nevis or Snowdon, the scenery in the Lake district?

Visit the Giant's causeway and the Titanic Belfast. Head to the Guiness Storehouse in Dublin or Kilmainham jail and head out in Temple Bar.

FeelTheRush · 08/08/2023 15:45

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable about being disappointed about what he booked and he should have talked to you about it before booking!

So in the same vein, I don’t think you should book alternative flights without talking to him and making sure he’s ok with it.

If he’s not, I’d go anyway (sounds like the April holiday was more your idea) but make sure he knows I expect any holidays to be discussed and agreed between us in advance.

MrsSamR · 08/08/2023 15:46

Seafarer · 08/08/2023 15:44

'What's the point of going somewhere where the weather is crap and not much different to any part of the UK.'

Have you really never enjoyed visiting anywhere else in the UK? Not enjoyed the city sights in Edinburgh or London, history in Bath or York, seafood on the coast, climbing Ben Nevis or Snowdon, the scenery in the Lake district?

Visit the Giant's causeway and the Titanic Belfast. Head to the Guiness Storehouse in Dublin or Kilmainham jail and head out in Temple Bar.

Nope, it pretty much sounds as though OP likes the Canary Islands.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 08/08/2023 15:46

Next time tell him where you want to go and what you want to do instead of leaving it open ended so he has to guess.

I wouldn't change it this time as it was your mistake.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 08/08/2023 15:48

Thankgoodnessforabitofsun · 08/08/2023 15:32

Why do people book things without checking with each other. I’d be annoyed too if someone booked for me to go somewhere I wasn’t keen on. I happen not to like sunbathing holidays so might prefer Dublin to whatever the OP has in mind but that’s not the point

She should have told him what she wanted and then booked it together if he agreed.

Men seem to think that women like surpises. They really don't.

WhereHasTheSunGoneThisSummer · 08/08/2023 15:48

I don’t think you are being ungrateful, if you haven’t mentioned wanting to go to Ireland and don’t fancy it then don’t go.
Could you move forward your Gran Canaria holiday and go now instead?

Comefromaway · 08/08/2023 15:49

Did you choose and book the other two holidays? If so, then maybe he deserves to choose and book this one.