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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Disabled parking angst

114 replies

ProbablyNotMad · 08/08/2023 12:04

My aunt is disabled and has a blue badge. The council recently put a disabled space on the road in front of her house. Lame drawing attached as per rules. Aunt was really pleased as parking can be busy and she often has to park a few houses down, which is tiring when she has shopping to unload. Unfortunately, Aunt's neighbour is also disabled and he is telling her that she is not allowed to use the disabled space. He had requested it from the council and it is for him to use not her. She is continuing to use it when she needs to but the neighbour is leaving horrible notes on her car and shouts at her when he sees her. Yesterday, someone further up the road had a disabled visitor who parked in the disabled space. They got a nasty note too.

I have spoken to the council and they have said that anyone with a blue badge can use the space and they won't create another disabled space on that road.

I think aunt should call the police and report him for harassment but she is reluctant to do this as she doesn't want to bother the police and this might make the neighbour angrier.

What would you do? Would we be unreasonable to call the police over this?

OP posts:

Dotjones · 08/08/2023 12:06

Yes she should report him, it's only a matter of time before he escalates things and actually damages the vehicle. She should get a CCTV camera pointed at the spot to record when she's parked there so there is evidence when this happens.

ZZpop · 08/08/2023 12:12

Legally he has no claim over it and his behaviour is totally unreasonable but I can see why he is annoyed about it.

skyeisthelimit · 08/08/2023 12:15

I can see why he is annoyed if he asked for it and how somebody else is parking there, but legally he can't stop them.

I have a blue badge, and I would let him park there if he was the one who requested the space. Your aunt could have requested one first.

Meeting · 08/08/2023 12:15

She needs to get a CCTV camera.

OldTinHat · 08/08/2023 12:15

All I can say is I sympathise.

I have a blue badge and allocated disabled bay edged in white. Because its edged in white, the moment I move,everyone parks in it and they don't even have blue badges.

I've spoken with the council and they won't put up a post or edge in yellow because I apparently live too close yo the town centre. It is considered a 'courtesy' bay.

I have to pay £250 unnecessarily for a permit in a nearby car park in case I can't park when I return. Some days, if my car is in the car park and I'm in too much pain to walk, I have to cancel appointments including medical. I've even had to get a taxi to the car park.

People park in my allocated bay and leave their car for a week or two because they're on holiday in the town. Commuters also park for the day whilst at work. This means I can't park on the double yellows for up to 3hrs hoping someone moves.

I have no advice, unfortunately. I've tried every avenue I can but get nowhere. I don't think there is an answer and you may find you're in the same situation, sadly.

OldTinHat · 08/08/2023 12:18

Oh and just to add, he is correct that he can park in her space with his badge.

fullbloom87 · 08/08/2023 12:21

My daughters disabled and we have no allocated parking. Council won't put disabled space either.
However if we requested a disabled space and another disabled person starting using it and we weren't able to use it and were back to square one, I'd be very annoyed too.

I think you need to contact the council and tell them that it's unfair to only have 1 disabled space when there are more then 1 disabled person on the road. At the end of the day it wasn't your aunt who put the effort into getting it made.

MintJulia · 08/08/2023 12:23

Before calling the police, could you try speaking to him or dropping a note through his door saying that you have spoken to the council and the disabled space is for the use of anyone who has a blue badge, including both neighbours and visitors, and please will he stop sending nasty notes.

If he continues, then I'd report him to the council and police for harassment.

Allthefeel · 08/08/2023 12:25

I can see why he is annoyed if he asked for it and how somebody else is parking there, but legally he can't stop them.

Yes pretty much this. If he put effort into requesting this from the council I can see why he's annoyed, I'm sure most people would be, but he has no legal right over the space and so yes he is being unreasonable about it and should be reported in case it escalates. Is there any way she can get a drive?

BiscuitsandPuffin · 08/08/2023 12:26

TBH if he just went through a huge battle of getting a disabled space put in, in the hope that he could actually park his car on the road now, near his house, and then someone random started using it, I can completely see why he's upset. Unfortunately the letter of the law is on your aunt's side, but it doesn't mean it's fair and tbh she sounds quite selfish when he's clearly begging her to stop parking there out of sheer desperation.
Really though, both your aunt and the neighbour should move house to somewhere more accessible if parking is that important to them, so they can live somewhere with a drive or allocated bays.

Totalwasteofpaper · 08/08/2023 12:29

Do not call the police yet. She should keep a record of the harassment though.

Anyone With a disabled badge can park there UNLESS it is a dedicated spot.
This is very common - they mark the bay so it says for User 123 or whatever.

if its a busy road it might well be a generic disabled spot.
but if she lives on a completely residential road i would AMAZED if it was a random parking space and not dedicated one.

First thing is to check this.

What your aunt should then do is contact the relevamt department and ask that the bay be allocated to her due to limited mobility if it isnt allocated.
if it is allocated request her own spot.
.

Allthefeel · 08/08/2023 12:31

What your aunt should then do is contact the relevamt department and ask that the bay be allocated to her due to limited mobility if it isnt allocated.

So the man requests a disabled parking space to the council and you're suggesting the aunt should ask if actually she can have it allocated to her?

GrumpyOldCrone · 08/08/2023 12:31

I don’t really understand the council’s refusal to paint a second disabled space. Your aunt could try talking to her MP about it: they might be able to persuade the council to do it. I can understand the neighbour’s frustration in this situation.

AutumnCrow · 08/08/2023 12:33

What are the drop kerbs for, @ProbablyNotMad? Do they lead onto driveways?

If the neighbour's got one, I suspect that's why he was declined a disable parking bay by the Council. However your aunt does not appear to have a drop kerb, and therefore ...

kitsuneghost · 08/08/2023 12:35

Can you ask the council to confirm by e-mail and post a copy through his door.

cansu · 08/08/2023 12:35

They will have to share it. I would send him a copy of the council's response and then leave it.

Blackbyrd · 08/08/2023 12:37

From the diagram, the neighbour has a dropped kerb and off road parking so why would he need an allocated space on the road? And indeed the local authority will not create a disabled parking spot for someone with off road parking. As life isn't a game of differently abled Top Trumps, anyone with a Blue Badge can use the space as described, ignore the notes but keep to evidence a possible claim of harassment

Thatboymum · 08/08/2023 12:39

The space is rite at his dropped kerb for his convenience, he requested this space , I know legally all blue badge holders can use it ( as a blue badge holder myself) but morally you wouldn’t park in a space outside somebody’s home that they have asked for to make there life easier it’s just ignorant and I’d be livid too. His behaviours not ok at all but I can see why he’s got to that point . It’s very obviously his space your aunt needs to make the effort herself with the council , go to her local mp if council aren’t helpful etc

Neuronamechange · 08/08/2023 12:47

His behaviour is wrong but I do have sympathy for him. He applied for a space directly outside his house, met the strict criteria for needing it and now has one that he can’t use. The space being (legally) used by another car means it’s now further for him to travel to and from his house.

We faced similar before we moved house and decided not to proceed as there was no guarantee I’d be able to access it (we were near several businesses and had elderly neighbours).

sparkleshin · 08/08/2023 12:49

@OldTinHat thats shocking you should get on the phone to citizens advice

SpringViolet · 08/08/2023 12:51

So your Aunt obviously wasn’t struggling so much that she could be bothered to request a disabled spot for herself, but she’s taking the neighbour’s spot who obviously was struggling enough to put time and effort in to get the council to do it.

That is awful and you and your Aunt sound like the worst kind of cfers.

Now you’re wondering why neighbour is pissed off and want to get the police onto him???

Tell your Aunt to park elsewhere!

AutumnCrow · 08/08/2023 12:53

He applied for a space directly outside his house, met the strict criteria for needing it and now has one that he can’t use.

Thing is, I don't think he does. I think he would have been refused on the grounds that he has a dropped kerb and a driveway.

The Council would probably mark up the road next to his dropped kerb with a white line though, if he requested it.

miniaturepixieonacid · 08/08/2023 12:56

Although your aunt isn't doing anything wrong legally, I can see he is very upset about it. He requested the space and she was obviously managing before because she didn't ask. I'd be cross too though I wouldn't say anything.

If she didn't use it, the number of available spaces near to her house is reduced so, if i were her, I would use it to unpack shopping etc then move it.

EvilElsa · 08/08/2023 12:58

It is shared but like a few others I do feel sympathy for him if he has been asking for the space and now can't use it. It must be really frustrating. I imagine he hasn't understood that it wouldn't be just for his use. I agree with posting a copy of the council response through his door. It might not stop him but at least you will have made him aware of the situation if he wasn't already. If he continues to be abusive then report to the council or police.

Im99912 · 08/08/2023 13:01

Anyone can’t park in a disabled space - with white markings
its a courtesy bay as such and not just for blue badge holders

if another blue badge holder parks in the bay it’s perfectly legal to do as well

most able bodied people don’t park in disabled bays because they aren’t assholes

If your aunt gets in touch with the council they may put one in for her as well
my late parents had a space and so did his immediate neighbours

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