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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Disabled parking angst

114 replies

ProbablyNotMad · 08/08/2023 12:04

My aunt is disabled and has a blue badge. The council recently put a disabled space on the road in front of her house. Lame drawing attached as per rules. Aunt was really pleased as parking can be busy and she often has to park a few houses down, which is tiring when she has shopping to unload. Unfortunately, Aunt's neighbour is also disabled and he is telling her that she is not allowed to use the disabled space. He had requested it from the council and it is for him to use not her. She is continuing to use it when she needs to but the neighbour is leaving horrible notes on her car and shouts at her when he sees her. Yesterday, someone further up the road had a disabled visitor who parked in the disabled space. They got a nasty note too.

I have spoken to the council and they have said that anyone with a blue badge can use the space and they won't create another disabled space on that road.

I think aunt should call the police and report him for harassment but she is reluctant to do this as she doesn't want to bother the police and this might make the neighbour angrier.

What would you do? Would we be unreasonable to call the police over this?

Disabled parking angst
OP posts:
EvilElsa · 08/08/2023 14:57

Willyoujustbequiet · 08/08/2023 14:52

Drip feeds are so annoying.

Agree 🥴

Gingerkittykat · 08/08/2023 15:01

Has your aunt put in her own official application for a BB space? There is more than one in my street.

PrrrplePineapple · 08/08/2023 15:08

The neighbor has his own drive but wants a disabled space for him to use only when he has visitors?

So the rest of the time he wants an empty space on the road JUST IN CASE?

This is beyond unreasonable. If your aunt requested a disabled bay too, it's doubly tough luck for him. Whoever is there first and has a disabled badge can use it, and if he has his own drive he shouldn't be asking for an unnecessary space anyway.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 08/08/2023 15:12

Has your aunt asked the council what the outcome is of her request? I agree that if neighbour has a driveway it's unlikely he would have been successful in getting a disabled bay - he doesn't need one.

Best result would be if your aunt can post through something from the council saying it is actually her request that got the space, not his, that would hopefully knock the wind from his sails and make her more comfortable using it.

h3ll0o · 08/08/2023 15:13
  1. Contact the police about the initial harassment. They’ll send a PCSO round to speak to him
  2. Log all incidents and obtain proof if you can
  3. Check if the space was due to her application, if it was sent him evidence
  4. If the harassment continues send an official solicitors letter explaining it is harassment and they will be reported to the police every time they behave inappropriately
Needanewnamebeingwatched · 08/08/2023 15:22

Anyone can park in the bay as its advisory only.

I think your aunt should have the space as she doesn't have a driveway

Original poster
ProbablyNotMad · 08/08/2023 19:53

When I called the council about it they didn't say who had requested the parking bay. They just repeated that it is for use for anyone with a blue badge and it isn't allocated for one person. Who requested it didn't seem to be important.

I didn't realise that councils do not give disabled spaces to people that have driveways so didnt know it was relevant when I posted. The diagram is pretty clear though so I dont see how that is a drip feed.

Someone commented that my aunt is cheeky just because she gets 'a bit tired' taking the shopping in. These sort of comments are a list and really disparaging to anyone that has been through the process to get a blue badge. They do not give blue badges out easily. I am not going to go into my aunt's disabilities but safe to say it isn't that she just 'gets a bit tired'. She struggles daily but on some days she is even more tired and has shopping to carry and the space is a real help.

OP posts:
ChristmasCrumpet · 08/08/2023 20:01

BiscuitsandPuffin · 08/08/2023 12:26

TBH if he just went through a huge battle of getting a disabled space put in, in the hope that he could actually park his car on the road now, near his house, and then someone random started using it, I can completely see why he's upset. Unfortunately the letter of the law is on your aunt's side, but it doesn't mean it's fair and tbh she sounds quite selfish when he's clearly begging her to stop parking there out of sheer desperation.
Really though, both your aunt and the neighbour should move house to somewhere more accessible if parking is that important to them, so they can live somewhere with a drive or allocated bays.

Yep, this.

I'd be pissed off if I was him too. He did all the hard work, most likely months of paperwork, and your aunt is using the result of that, simply because she can. "Pleased because parking can be busy" hardly sounds like she's desperate for the space. He clearly needs it, or he wouldn't have gone to all that effort.

Legally she can, but it's a dick move on her part when she has been perfectly ok to just park a few spaces down all this time.

Original poster
ProbablyNotMad · 08/08/2023 20:03

*ablist not a list. I wish Mumsnet had an edit function.

OP posts:
ItsNotRocketSalad · 08/08/2023 20:08

The party to blame here is the council who won't put in enough disabled spaces to serve the needs of residents. Blue badge holders shouldn't have to fight it out amongst themselves. Can you keep on at the council on your aunt's behalf?

JaukiVexnoydi · 08/08/2023 20:08

Anyone with a blue badge can park in the space but he's being a total bastard to use it just so a non-blue-badge-holder can use his driveway.

FloweryName · 08/08/2023 20:08

He applied for the space because he needed it. Morally, he deserves priority.

JaukiVexnoydi · 08/08/2023 20:09

FloweryName · 08/08/2023 20:08

He applied for the space because he needed it. Morally, he deserves priority.

@FloweryName he has his own off-street parking on a driveway. OP does not. Why does he need it?

ItsNotRocketSalad · 08/08/2023 20:33

JaukiVexnoydi · 08/08/2023 20:09

@FloweryName he has his own off-street parking on a driveway. OP does not. Why does he need it?

Show quote history

The council would not have put in a bay at his request if he had off-street parking. I think the OP might have changed the story to get more favourable replies for her aunt.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/08/2023 20:35

From your updates, it sounds as if the space was created for your aunt. Please contact a PCSO so they can go round and see the man with the appropriate legislation and explain it was put there after her application, not his.

SD1978 · 08/08/2023 20:36

Seems very odd the council out in a blue badge spot for a man who has a driveway to park on! Maybe it was due to both requests? He has a drive way, she doesn't from the diagram. I'd use the spot without thinking about it- as he is choosing to park on the road when he doesn't need to, unless the drive is so narrow he can't get out of the car. If he's using it as convenient 'extra' parking for guests, then that's the CF Not your Aunt!

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 08/08/2023 20:43

Just an aside, we have a driveway and a dedicated disabled bay, because our drive is narrow and steep. So it’s not completely impossible that the neighbour was granted a bay.

FixTheBone · 08/08/2023 21:00

The route to madness lies within residential disabled spaces.

Our neighbour got one, on a very tight road of terraced houses. We had a blue badge for my sister, paraplegic from spina bifida with a huge electric wheelchair, we occasionally used the space to unload if we couldn't park near our house, and would vacate the space even if it meant parking on another street.

That never stopped the neighbour running out red faced and ranting....

Anyway, we moved, but went back visiting a few years later - about a third of the street is now disabled spaces, and because they're bigger, fewer cars can park...

Humans are irrationally weird sometimes.

CaroleSinger · 08/08/2023 21:04

Surely the sensible thing is to get the council to tell him what they told you. That anyone with a badge can use it not just him?

BungleandGeorge · 08/08/2023 21:15

It’s a public road, the space is for any disabled person. It’s not for his convenience so
thatbhis guests can park more easily. And it’s in front of your aunt’s property so by putting it there they’ve effectively taken her old space away. Bonkers that a disabled person should feel they have to move so
that it can be kept free for another disabled person (or rather the convenience of his guests)

NewName122 · 09/08/2023 01:23

He may have requested it but the council would have told him it is not his designated space and can be used by anyone with a blue badge. So yes you should report his crazy behaviour.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 09/08/2023 01:27

Dotjones · 08/08/2023 12:06

Yes she should report him, it's only a matter of time before he escalates things and actually damages the vehicle. She should get a CCTV camera pointed at the spot to record when she's parked there so there is evidence when this happens.

That's a bit of a jump from leaning a note to damaging the vehicle! I leave notes ,I don't damage other people's cars.

Anyone can park in a space but I can see why he's upset about it.

Isittimeformynapyet · 09/08/2023 01:55

ItsNotRocketSalad · 08/08/2023 20:33

The council would not have put in a bay at his request if he had off-street parking. I think the OP might have changed the story to get more favourable replies for her aunt.

Show quote history

Look at the diagram, posted at the start of this thread. There is the dropped kerb and driveway on the neighbour's property clear as day.

I hope we can agree that you were categorically wrong in your post.

AlfietheSchnauzer · 09/08/2023 05:55

@ProbablyNotMad So a disabled resident went to the effort of applying for a disabled space and your aunt decided to help herself to it and now she's complaining that he's annoyed? Wow

CF

AutumnCrow · 09/08/2023 06:01

As many posters keep saying:

Dropped kerb and driveway = not eligible for disabled parking bay.

It’s in the OP’s diagram, literally in the OP.