Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use the disabled bathroom when I’m not disabled?

90 replies

waterorsoda · 07/08/2023 19:12

I promise this isn’t one of those questions where the OP asks something then argues with everyone that they are being reasonable etc when they’re not😆

My journey home from work has 2 parts to it. In between both journeys I always, without fail, need the bathroom. However I usually get around half an hour before closing so I usually jump in to the shopping centre and go to the toilet before the 2nd journey home as the traffic is bad and I need to go to the toilet anyway. However because they’re getting ready to close, the ladies toilets are ALWAYS closed off (as in, they are barricaded off as they are presumably being cleaned) but the disabled toilet is open. I usually just go to the disabled toilet but I always feel guilty because I shouldn’t really be using it. For context, I have an eye condition so very technically it’s an invisible disability but it’s not something that would make me usually need to use the disabled bathroom and I would always go to the ladies instead so I’m purely using the disabled because it’s the only one open. But I always feel guilty and feel like I shouldn’t be in there. It’s always quiet and nobody has ever had to wait for me but I’m always scared to come out in case someone says something or in case I’ve made someone who really needs the disabled toilet wait whilst I was in it.

am I ok to use it? Or should I not be doing it? There’s no other toilets nearby and unfortunately all coffee shops etc are closed so I couldn’t go there. The other toilets in the shopping centre are the exact same set up with the ladies being closed off😞

OP posts:
ChocolateCinderToffee · 07/08/2023 19:51

Organisations and businesses must provide loos that are accessible to disabled people. They don't have to provide them for the exclusive use of disabled people. I don't know why people think this.

Curtains70 · 07/08/2023 19:55

The toilets are accessible and not solely for the use of disabled people. Also if thats the only toilet available then I wouldn't even question it.

imactuallyfine · 07/08/2023 19:56

@WiddlinDiddlin I think a pisstake would be using it cause you fancy a wee on a jaunt and there's some people with disabilities waiting to use it and/or taking a good few mins in there.

I think popping in for what you know is going to be an extremely short time period when no one's waiting is fine.

I do the same with the mens.

Skodacool · 07/08/2023 20:00

Curtains70 · 07/08/2023 19:55

The toilets are accessible and not solely for the use of disabled people. Also if thats the only toilet available then I wouldn't even question it.

I agree.

Soggysoggydew · 07/08/2023 20:01

imactuallyfine · 07/08/2023 19:47

*seconds

Your view isn’t what’s important here though is it? You aren’t the centre of the world.

If waiting is fine- you wait for the fucking ladies! Or go in the gents if you really think you wanting to pee is more important than everyone else.

Original poster
waterorsoda · 07/08/2023 20:01

WiddlinDiddlin · 07/08/2023 19:50

Theres a lot more 'im not disabled but this is convenient for me so ill just be quick' people than there are disabled people who actually can ONLY use the accessible facility.

So if everyone thinks like that, some of us do end up waiting, very frequently, for the toilet - we also end up waiting a long time when another disabled person is using it, meaning we can wait way longer for the ONE loo we can use, than a non disabled person might.

SO yeah, um, since your need for the loo is SO predictable, couldn't you go at work before you leave? Finish work, have a wee, then set off home?

The piss-taking use of accessible toilets is one reason why so many are locked, meaning some of us have to go, like little children, and find someone to effectively, take us to the toilet or give us permission to go, and yes you can buy your own RADAR key but many places have fitted the locks 'incorrectly' on purpose, which means if you're in there having used your own key, the door can still be opened by someone else with the RADAR key (they do this so they can unlock it easily from the outside if its locked on the inside. it is not an accident.)

I do, I go to the toilet as I’m leaving work but unfortunately I still need to go x

OP posts:
imactuallyfine · 07/08/2023 20:07

@Soggysoggydew You're funny.

I'm the centre of my world.

The chances of a person with a disability turning up exactly as I go in are so slim that it's a non-issue

If they turn up 30 seconds after I've gone in they wait 30 seconds.

calm down.

imactuallyfine · 07/08/2023 20:08

@Soggysoggydew The wait for the ladies is a lot longer than 30 seconds too.

And, no.

Thank you.

Soggysoggydew · 07/08/2023 20:10

ChocolateCinderToffee · 07/08/2023 19:51

Organisations and businesses must provide loos that are accessible to disabled people. They don't have to provide them for the exclusive use of disabled people. I don't know why people think this.

They also don’t have to legally stop blokes wandering into the ladies, but some how women think that is terrible. See allllllll the threads about trans people using female toilets. Is it only disabled people who don’t deserve a facility dedicated to them? What about the person with a colostomy bag which leaks everywhere while they are waiting for you? Or the person with POTS who faints from standing in a queue of people who ‘will only be a minute?’

Also, many things aren’t ‘a law’ but people manage not to be a dick about it. Queuing? If we only have to follow written laws I presume it’s fine for someone to step ahead of you in the queue at the supermarket because they don’t fancy waiting? Or appointment times, they aren’t a law are they- so it’s fine for me to decide to have your earlier appointment because I fancy it? How about your numbered parking place? That isn’t a law… and it’s closer to my flat so I’ll just take it.

Fuck me, no wonder the world is going to shit with this kind of attitude.

Soggysoggydew · 07/08/2023 20:12

imactuallyfine · 07/08/2023 20:07

@Soggysoggydew You're funny.

I'm the centre of my world.

The chances of a person with a disability turning up exactly as I go in are so slim that it's a non-issue

If they turn up 30 seconds after I've gone in they wait 30 seconds.

calm down.

Oh I see, you know exactly how many people are disabled and where they will be at all times. That’s an unusual super power.

Ladyoftheknight · 07/08/2023 20:13

Unless you're pushing to the front of a queue of disabled people and using the last flush available in that loo, of course you can use it. Good for you for being cautious though, so few people respect the need for accessibility.

Haretest · 07/08/2023 20:15

Honestly if you can make a journey home without stopping for the loo then is sounds like you have incontinence and are justified in using the disabled loo.

Ohthatsabitshit · 07/08/2023 20:17

Are your eye problems a disability? Do you receive PIP, or reasonable adjustments at work? If you do then you have no need to worry at all.

if they don’t impact you to that degree, or impact your ability to use the ladies then it’s a bit more of a grey area. I personally think it’s fine (and use disabled loos when out and about) but I wonder if you do need to see someone about your weak bladder?

Original poster
waterorsoda · 07/08/2023 20:20

Haretest · 07/08/2023 20:15

Honestly if you can make a journey home without stopping for the loo then is sounds like you have incontinence and are justified in using the disabled loo.

Usually I could but the traffic is so busy and a half hour journey can easily become an hour +😫

OP posts:
imactuallyfine · 07/08/2023 20:20

@Soggysoggydew No, I can just see people who are standing in front of me

Soggysoggydew · 07/08/2023 20:21

waterorsoda · 07/08/2023 20:01

I do, I go to the toilet as I’m leaving work but unfortunately I still need to go x

Show quote history

I think in this situation, if there really isn’t any other toilet you could walk to and you can’t wait, then the place has essentially created a situation like in my local Starbucks where the accessible toilet is the only one and everyone has to use it. So long as you aren’t spending 10 minutes browsing mumsnet and doing your hair I don’t think you are taking the piss.

Its the people who are so entitled, lazy and ignorant as to think they should just do what they want, and don’t give a shit about the situations they are putting disabled people into, who cause the issue @WiddlinDiddlin is talking about I think. You sound like someone who would use the ladies if someone hadn’t locked them.

FawnFrenchieMum · 07/08/2023 20:22

There some entitled people in the world! I’d like to see a few of you spend a few days with bowel disease and see if you think disabled toilets should be a free for all!

OP, using them when no other toilets are available is absolutely fine. Don’t over think it and thank you for being generally a considerate person.

Soggysoggydew · 07/08/2023 20:23

imactuallyfine · 07/08/2023 20:20

@Soggysoggydew No, I can just see people who are standing in front of me

Yep, you’re a ‘can’t see past the end of my nose’ person, I get it.

Original poster
waterorsoda · 07/08/2023 20:23

Ohthatsabitshit · 07/08/2023 20:17

Are your eye problems a disability? Do you receive PIP, or reasonable adjustments at work? If you do then you have no need to worry at all.

if they don’t impact you to that degree, or impact your ability to use the ladies then it’s a bit more of a grey area. I personally think it’s fine (and use disabled loos when out and about) but I wonder if you do need to see someone about your weak bladder?

No, absolutely nothing like that at all. Nobody knows about it, it affects me so little. It’s glaucoma but my eyesight is fine and it’s controlled.

I know it probably sounds like I do have a weak bladder but I actually dont- it’s a bit of a wait between journeys and with bus/train times (depending on what I get) eg the train has a longer waiting time for the next one but the bus can get stuck in traffic. Either way a half hour journey can easily become over an hour to get home and I’m always nervous it takes too long and I’m bursting for the toilet. Normally I can hang on!

OP posts:
Ohthatsabitshit · 07/08/2023 20:25

If you can only go an hour between toilet breaks there is a problem. Managed glaucoma is NOT a disability in any way.

Soggysoggydew · 07/08/2023 20:25

FawnFrenchieMum · 07/08/2023 20:22

There some entitled people in the world! I’d like to see a few of you spend a few days with bowel disease and see if you think disabled toilets should be a free for all!

OP, using them when no other toilets are available is absolutely fine. Don’t over think it and thank you for being generally a considerate person.

I know! It would be upsetting if it weren’t so predictable.

Haretest · 07/08/2023 20:25

So anymore than an hour and you're bursting? That doesn't sound right.

imactuallyfine · 07/08/2023 20:25

@Soggysoggydew You keep jumping to weird conclusions.

Original poster
waterorsoda · 07/08/2023 20:28

Ohthatsabitshit · 07/08/2023 20:25

If you can only go an hour between toilet breaks there is a problem. Managed glaucoma is NOT a disability in any way.

it’s not an hour, it’s an hour+ on the first journey, then easily more than an hour on the 2nd depending on traffic etc!

OP posts:
Original poster
waterorsoda · 07/08/2023 20:28

Haretest · 07/08/2023 20:25

So anymore than an hour and you're bursting? That doesn't sound right.

No, it’s closer to around 2 hours or so x

OP posts: