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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Difficult babies turn into easy toddlers and easy babies turn into difficult toddlers

73 replies

Mamabear04 · 07/08/2023 17:48

DC1 was a really difficult baby but was a really easy toddler (as easy as a toddler can be). DC2 was such an easy baby, so relaxed and happy but now at 13m is quick to anger and get frustrated. Does anyone else agree that difficult babies turn into easy toddler and easy babies turn into difficult toddlers?

Yes, it's true- YANBU
No, not in my experience - YABU

OP posts:

pointythings · 07/08/2023 19:34

Not my experience. Both of mine were easy babies, easy toddlers and in fact also easy teens. They were both horrors at 4. Then one was terrible at 6, the other at 9.

veryberrypericherry · 07/08/2023 19:34

Dds in my house - easy babies, reasonably easy toddlers and hellish teenagers.

Ds easy baby, very mischievous but sweet toddler, absolutely lovely teen!

It's the luck of the draw.

Friends with baby boys when my DDs were babies had babies that cried lots, turned into very tricky and fighty toddlers but are much easier teens.

The moral of the story is don't count your chickens 😆

stargirl1701 · 07/08/2023 19:34

No.

DD1 was a high needs baby who was diagnosed autistic aged 5. She was always high needs and will probably always be. She's now nearly 11.

DD2 was such an easy baby, easy toddler and a delightful child.

spitefulandbadgrammar · 07/08/2023 19:34

My difficult baby turned into an easy though energetic toddler but then regressed into a monster preschooler and we are now in the bowels of hell with her at four. It is exactly like parenting… myself.

Got a very easy baby who was an easy newborn, hoping he’ll remain true to his happy, potato self for many years. He is deeply contented with life; eldest never was and still isn’t!

CaptainJackSparrow85 · 07/08/2023 19:34

ClinkyWotsit · 07/08/2023 18:51

I only have the one so no comparison but she was a difficult baby, a delightful & easy toddler and, 1 month into being a pre-schooler (which I’m classing as 3+), she’s gone difficult again. Is THAT normal?!

Not my experience but I have a couple of friends who found something very similar with their daughters.

barelyfunctional · 07/08/2023 19:36

My easy baby was an easy toddler and is now a very difficult preteen
My difficult baby was a difficult toddler and is now a difficult child
both neurodivergent though which might change things a bit

YoongiMarryMe · 07/08/2023 19:38

Mine were easy babies (my second was the most chilled baby ever) and then became absolutely delightful toddlers!

Now if you want to talk about ages 14-15 that’s a different matter. Both went moody as hell for one year but appeared out the other side all delightful again.

RagzRebooted · 07/08/2023 19:39

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 07/08/2023 17:53

Mine were easy babies, easy toddlers and easy teenagers. Not sure if I’ve got away with it or if they’re saving it up for a midlife crisis (though I might not be around then…😁)

Same here, really. I think of DD (my youngest) as being the most difficult as a baby (would only sleep on me, cried in the car and supermarket) and toddler (screamed when frustrated much more than her brothers did) but having seen people with actually difficult babies and toddlers, even she was fine.
The boys were both easy all the way through (DS1 had a bit of a poor mental health phase but nothing compared to so many I see). All teens now and expecting a reality hit at some point. We're moving next year and that may be the catalyst for some serious teenage push back from DD (will be 14 then) so I shall wait and see on that score...

I am a pretty laid back parent, though always had routine, rules and expectations for behaviour. But I don't honestly think it's really anything I did or didn't do, I think we've just been very, very lucky!

NCNCNCYEP · 07/08/2023 19:40

Definitely my experience! Youngest was a dream baby. Didn’t really “wake up” until about 3 months, and from then was happy to be carried around in a sling and chill out. Now they’re 18 months and the most fiery little being. Never seen a tantrum like it! In fact, our eldest rarely tantrums - they’re very agreeable and go with the flow. But as a baby, I remember thinking wow this is hard work. So yeah my experience is almost identical to yours 🤣

maybe the second ones are like this to stop us going for a third. It’s like mother natures way of keeping the population lower

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 07/08/2023 19:52

Nope. I had a easy baby and a chilled toddler.

PumpkinPie2016 · 07/08/2023 20:28

My son was very difficult as a baby and up until he turned 3. So both baby and toddler stage was hard.

After that, he massively calmed down. He's 9 now and so chilled out and easy. Currently on holiday in a hotel abroad and he is loving it - the new foods/places/chilling in hotel when we are all tired after trips out.

I feel I deserve this after such a hard first few years 😂

My sister was apparently an easy baby/toddler but a nightmare teen.

I suppose all kids will have their difficult stages.

Busornobus67 · 07/08/2023 20:37

Nope both difficult babies /toddlers and pre teens.
Sen though

Mumtobabyhavoc · 07/08/2023 20:47

Maybe I'm just lucky... easy baby and happy easy toddler. Counting my blessings and sending support to those struggling.

minipie · 07/08/2023 21:03

Nope.

BUT. I do think that if you have a truly difficult/high needs baby (as in poor feeding, terrible sleeping, hours of screaming etc) then they may seem like they become an easy toddler, even if in fact they are a normal or even quite a tricky toddler. Because anything will seem easy compared with the hell on a stick that is a truly difficult baby.

Bubbles07 · 07/08/2023 21:07

No, mine were both easy babies, laid back toddlers and lovely, calm teens.

DelilahBucket · 07/08/2023 21:08

DS was an easy baby once I got the colic under control, easy going toddler, easy going primary school age, and now he's 15 and still easy going. That's not to say I haven't had times of exhaustion, exasperation and muttering "this too shall pass" when going through sleep regression/tantrums/back chat. Compared to a lot of kids though, so far he's been been fabulous!

AlltheFs · 07/08/2023 21:10

DD was an easy baby, easy toddler and is now an easy child.

Fiddlesticks24 · 07/08/2023 21:22

I think maybe parents who've had a different time with babyhood tend to be relieved when their babies become toddlers, whereas parents with unicorn babies find it a bit of a nasty shock!

DD had a pretty easygoing personality as a baby, but was a terrible sleeper and had problems feeding. By 18 months she was sleeping (a bit) better, eating well, and I was so much happier.

Fiddlesticks24 · 07/08/2023 21:23

*difficult

Mamai90 · 07/08/2023 21:25

DD was an easy baby though she wasn't a great sleeper. She's 21 months now and has been an easy toddler so far.

AngeloMysterioso · 07/08/2023 21:26

DS1 3.5y was an easy baby and is now for the most part a good natured, pretty chilled out little boy. Unless his little brother pisses him off.
His little brother - DS2 20mo - was a screaming, sleepless minion of the antichrist as a baby and still just wants to watch the world burn a year and a half later.

waterlego · 07/08/2023 21:27

Not in my experience. My tricky baby (DC1) was also a tricky toddler. She was a delight from 4-17 and is now a bit challenging again in late teens. I do think she might have ADHD though which would explain some of it. Don’t get me wrong, she’s absolutely lovely- not rude or rebellious, but just a little frustrating 😬

DC2 was an easy baby, easy toddler and is still easy in his mid teens! Sleeps and eats a lot and that keeps him stable and happy.

RuthW · 07/08/2023 21:44

Easy baby = nightmare teen

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