Do you have the energy to go out/do things in the evenings?

[Whenwillthebuildingnoisestop]

I don’t.

I’m 45 with a 5 year old dc

Pre child and pre 40, I used to work full time all day, come home and often go to the beach until 10 pm ish or happily walk the dog or workout.
Now I just feel too tired and watch tv on the sofa.
The will is there in wanting to go out, I’m not depressed etc, I just get to the point where I can’t be bothered/just want to stay in.
I often feel too tired to walk the dog after 6, it’s becoming ridiculous as I love to do these things or used to at least.
Is this normal?
Is it age? having a 5 year old? Or something else?
Anyone else like this?
I just want to live my life!

I'm 48 with 2 kids (12 and 10) and I'm generally very tired in the evenings. I rarely want to go out but do sometimes for dinners etc. I really enjoy gigs and seem to have endless energy for them but that's only once every few months. Usually I like to be curled up with a book by 9.30!

I have no energy at all either, but reading this thread I'm going to get some multivitamins to see if they make a difference.

Also carrying the equivalent of two toddlers in excess weight, which I'm sure has a lot to do with it. Unfortunately I'm really struggling to even get the motivation to start trying to lose it as I'm so tired.

Late 30s with a 4 year old. By the time we get home there isn't time to go out anyway, but yeah I'm done!
I struggle getting to sleep though, and then he's awake early and it is a vicious cycle.

If I don't actually come home and sit down though, I will be fine until I do. It's just once I stop, I don't want to start again!

I’m 42 with an 11 year old and a 19 year old (although older one isn’t here most of the time, at university) and I’m in my pjs every day from 6.30pm and ready for bed by 9pm!

Get your bloods checked but no harm taking iron for a few months and also it could be the start of peri menopause also and the energy levels really go downhill. Get some tests and take it from there.

I'm fit and active, but rarely have the energy to do much in the evenings.

I have two very young children in my mid 30's. I crash in the evenings as soon as dc are in bed. To the point where if we haven't already eaten with the kids I won't bother cooking anything, so it's up to my OH.

I used to run in the evenings and couldn't think of anything worse now.

I too am really hoping this doesn't last as I'd like to enjoy doing something with my evenings.

Absolutely not, 3 children 13, 17 and 20 and I'm 53. My bed is my friend x

48 with a 10 yr old adhder.
No!
I count down to bedtime, it’s the highlight of my day.
if I do happen to make it outside after 6pm I feel amazed!

No. I’m 31 and I’m a morning person. I’ve no interest in the evenings / no energy after about 5pm!

@BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants Can I start taking iron even if I’ve not had my energy levels checked?

So I took the dog for a quick, 15/20 minute walk and did feel better afterwards, I really had to force that though! It was around 7.30, my worse time actually seems to be 6 ish which is quite weird

Yes, when I was about 30 and shortly before I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid (Graves Disease). I kept going at work, very demanding role, but had to drag myself to do stuff at home/in the evenings. When I went to the Dr's my resting heart rate was over 130.

Never felt it ever again not even when the dc were infants. In my mid to late 40s I did a full-time job, professional quals in addition and ran round after two dc at different schools, in opposite directions. DH was at the height of his career and rarely home.

Nowadays I usually work about 50 to 55 how (nothing new) but at 63 I need much more down time and pacing.

I'm sorry you feel this way @Whenwillthebuildingnoisestop. I think you should get yourself checked over.

Depends what kind of day I’ve had at work. I’m 44 with no kids. Go to an intense exercise class one night per week (Monday) - the other nights I will prepare and cook dinner, make mine and DHs pack ups, relax for half an hour, then do half hour of yoga to break up the constant TV watching/internet scrolling. Sometimes go for dinner or movie with a friend on a Friday after work.

Could it be sugar related? I was tired before I realised I was pre-diabetic. Also, perimenopause wiped me out.

I'm mid-40s and fecking knackered. I have a nine YO and I think the thing that gets me is that when our nanny leaves at 6:30 I have to switch straight from work to parenting with no downtime. By the time we are done with bath and bed for her plus dinner and household chores for us, it's 9pm and we collapse in front of the tv for half an hour to an hour and then head to bed.

I used to be a night owl and out all the time. I'm a bit dismayed at what I have become!

I think it might be peri menopause

you desire to do anything much other that sit on the sofa watching TV and wasting biscuits tends to well just disappear even with HRT

just relax into a new stage of life we don’t need to be running around busy all the time it’s ok to slow down

@HRTQueen Will that be it forever then?

38 with a 4 and 5 year old. 4 year old still a dreadful sleeper. 5 year old very early riser. DH and I both work and I’m also studying for professional exams. We have no family help whatsoever.

By the time the kids are asleep and we’ve sorted the house out/eaten (and sometimes worked in the evenings to catch up) we definitely have ZERO energy to go out! Maybe watch and hour of tv then shower and bed.

I did start going to a hobby one night a week and found it very tiring! And its the knock on effect of getting back late and then needing an hour to "wind down" enough to go to sleep, so then feeling sleep deprived the next day etc when faced with a full day of parenting and housework. But luckily this hobby runs in term times so I do get a break, and I think I will go back to it in September as I do enjoy it once I'm there.

Most nights my favourite thing to do is get under a blanket and watch TV or read. I think that is the reality of life with a young child as they are so full on.

I can’t relate I’m afraid. 38 with older teens. So not being drained by small kids, but do have a full time pretty active job.

this week will be gym, run, gym and over to friends, gym, out for dinner with friends. I’m not very good at staying in and relaxing 😬

No it’s not forever

it’s worth getting blood tests

but working f/t with children it’s hard and your energy levels drop along with the drive you had before during peri stage

I’ve accepted it and well it’s fine energy will improve but Im not going to feel like I did in my 20/30’s or early 40’s it’s just life

plus side is a new found confidence through caring less about what others think 😊

It's worth a blood test to check out any underlying cause - I have thought for months it's just lifestyle / getting older but it turns out I'm severely anaemic.

I'm 45, my kids are both teens. I hate going out in the evenings.

I am neurodiverse (diagnosed) and instead of feeling guilty about it I appreciate that I need a lot of time to decompress of an evening.

I have a lot of sensory issues to do with clothes and by 5PM I need to be in pyjamas with my contact lenses out. I don't like sitting up at a table and or in an uncomfortable chair at the best of times but I can tolerate it during work, after hours I need to be more comfortable so evening dinners or the theatre don't appeal.

My job is hugely relational and involves intense listening and I don't have anything left over socially in the evenings.

I just play to my strengths. I work out online with a PT at 7AM three mornings a week, walk the dog for 3 miles a day early doors and most of my socialising still takes place on weekend dog walks because most of my friends lost interest in paying to sit in restaurants around covid, so I'm lucky like that.

I definitely don't feel I'm missing out, been to the theatre loads this year - always to a matinee.

There is a lyric in a song which says 'don't take a free ride in your own life' and I really don't want to spend my time scrolling on MN or half watch something on TV, which is what I would do if I stayed in.

i feel so seen 😱