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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to feel like the unpopular girl at school?

68 replies

oysterpots · 27/02/2008 19:42

Went to a baby class thing today where one of the women there made fun of my accent, then leaned over me to exchange mobile numbers with my friend and asked her to a coffee morning on Monday. Then turned her back on me and left.

It's not like I WANT to go to her stupid coffee morning, it's just I thought that by the ripe old age of 31 people wouldn't still be that petty

I mean, even if there was someone you didn't know or like that much, wouldn't you just invite them? Or exchange numbers then call the person you wanted to invite?

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 27/02/2008 21:39

Yes sorry about hijack OP but see how happy we are to find each other ????

peacelily · 27/02/2008 21:39

I work 4 days so on my day off the dd it's just me and her, there's no way I'm going to sit frozen with fear wondering if I may or may not be accpeted by the "group" in some church hall or other. I'd rather stick sticekrs all over the tea set or some other such activity.

I think if you're a SAHM you go so as to give your dcs a chance to meet other kids and just grin and bear it. I'd love to stay at home more with dd but I must admit I think we'd both become a bit anti-social!!

PussinJimmyChoos · 27/02/2008 21:41

I cannot equate the chatty mums on here with the largely unfriendly ones at my groups...its like two different species! In RL its kind of arrive, do your group thing and then go home again! I try being chatty and nice and some will chat back but there is always that kind of reserve!

I said to one mum oh you are welcome over for coffee one afternoon and our DC's can play together. She smiled but at same time looked a bit shocked at the next week I saw her, she didn't talk as much as she normally does...

I think its the English reserve (and I speak as an English person here)...either that or I've got BO???

Wisteria · 27/02/2008 21:42

peacelily - I ended up finding tumbletots and places like that more to my taste, or going to soft play places - I could always lose myself in a book then if there was no one interesting to talk to and the children were still playing with other dcs etc.

peacelily · 27/02/2008 21:50

Think I'll try the local soft play centre, has a good cafe too so I don't have to sit there feeling like a leper.

Off to bed now

Night night bohemians

rantinghousewife · 27/02/2008 21:55

TTFN, you subversive, you

Original poster
oysterpots · 27/02/2008 22:06

Golly, what a lot of replies! Yes, accent is a bit posh. Not REALLY posh but it would be considered posh in the place where the baby group was.

Anyway, thanks for the reassurance that it's her not me. Haven't talked to my friend about it yet. It's weird though - sort of the first time it's happened and DS is 7 months, so I was a bit surprised and shocked. Friend is lovely and a really good friend so I'm very glad I've got her, and don't think she'll be that fussed about the flipping coffee morning.

Know what you mean Puss... are all Mumsnet mums hanging out somewhere together in some idyll where no-one cares about your accent and everyone arrives in their camper vans bearing delicious cakes? Argh, we're being left out again!

OP posts:
Judy1234 · 27/02/2008 22:12

Feeling very glad in 23 years as a mother I never went to a mother and toddler group or (except rarely) the school gate nor socialised with other mothers. Just keep your normal friends and people you like and don't become friendly with people who aren't nice like this. May be you need a posher group !

PussinJimmyChoos · 27/02/2008 22:15

Apart from one friend of mine in RL, I've yet to meet another person in RL that actually admits to being a mnetter!! People go all coy when you say oh have you visited mumsnet.com! Its as if you are asking them to visit a lesbian porn or S&M site or similar!

Wisteria · 27/02/2008 22:39

I was apparently a snob because I had a Southern accent.....

scottishmummy · 27/02/2008 23:35

i like southeren accents.bet you sound VNice

Scramble · 27/02/2008 23:39

Ach there are mums like that at some of the activities I take my kids too, I just find it amusing that at 30+ they still bitch like teenagers. Theres one that will not bring her daughter on a whim, like if she fell out with her daughter earlier on age 8 FGS, I take everything with a pinch of salt and just chat to whoever is being freindly that week.

Pruners · 27/02/2008 23:42

Message withdrawn

RedJools · 27/02/2008 23:58

Aww, I'd be hurt too, even though I'd KNOW it didn't matter etc etc. Just wonder if she is jealous? I'm a bit shy with yummy-mummy types, cos I think they will look at me as if I am some horrid creature!! The ones at my dd's ballet class are a bit scary, and I got the impression they didn't like me, although I'd only had short convos with them. Then last week, when I was bemoaning the state of my finances to my friend there, I heard one of them saying, "Hmph! Thought you were Loaded!!" Where she got that from I have no idea, but I wonder if maybe that's why she doesn't like me!! Maybe you are too gorgeous/ thin/ funny/ rich for this woman to bear!! Feel sorry for her and concentrate on the nice non-judgemental people without silly hang-ups, I say!

Scramble · 28/02/2008 00:02

"nice non-judgemental people without silly hang-ups" ata M&T you'll be lucky .

TenaciousG · 28/02/2008 00:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

globetrotterinvietnam · 28/02/2008 04:11

Keep your head up! People like that aren't worth it anyway. I could have written this plenty of times. I used to get really upset by nasty cows like that, now I just smile and don't think about it.

globetrotterinvietnam · 28/02/2008 04:11

Keep your head up! People like that aren't worth it anyway. I could have written this plenty of times. I used to get really upset by nasty cows like that, now I just smile and don't think about it.

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