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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to feel like the unpopular girl at school?

68 replies

oysterpots · 27/02/2008 19:42

Went to a baby class thing today where one of the women there made fun of my accent, then leaned over me to exchange mobile numbers with my friend and asked her to a coffee morning on Monday. Then turned her back on me and left.

It's not like I WANT to go to her stupid coffee morning, it's just I thought that by the ripe old age of 31 people wouldn't still be that petty

I mean, even if there was someone you didn't know or like that much, wouldn't you just invite them? Or exchange numbers then call the person you wanted to invite?

OP posts:

BitTiredNow · 27/02/2008 20:52

poor you - what did your friend make of all this?

peacelily · 27/02/2008 20:59

Ah Mrsruffalo that's a lovely thing to say, I have never and will never stop being bohemian. I was even pictured in our local paper with that exact description for an article on scarves!

I know different NCTs can vary wildly, my friend had a fantastic time and met very like minded people but TBH I've heard a lot of conflicting reports.

I now know it's vv true that you want neccesarily automatically have something in common with someone just because you both have a dc.

scottishmummy · 27/02/2008 21:00

so sad though that some people judge merely on accent etc, but it actually indicative of poor self esteem and fragile ego. frankly she sounds like a biscuit-arsed pain in da arse.

bound to make you feel rotten though

jekyllandhyde · 27/02/2008 21:04

how bizarre, she sounds like an idiot. not worth the time of day if she's that judgemental

Wisteria · 27/02/2008 21:06

I too have been ostracised for being 'bohemian' peace lily so don't worry , it's never done me any harm.... I'd have been your buddy at the school gates , I was the slightly dippy looking ginger hippy with the big green camper that all the other mothers were a bit at.

littlelapin · 27/02/2008 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Feisty1 · 27/02/2008 21:08

Did she invite your friend because they had already met. I have had this happen at TG before but because my friend goes all the time I wasn't too put out about it.

If she had just met the pair of you and did it, then she isn't a nice person and you are worth more than that.

I have had many experiences over the years at TG's etc and when our babies were young, they all seemed to ignore me a bit. Now the children are older everyone seems to love me long time. What a croc of shite. I will be staying loyal to those who bothered in the early days and I have to say, I have singled out people who I saw this happen to and they are my mates now.

Kindersurpise · 27/02/2008 21:11

What a nasty woman.

Ignore her, you are the better person.

mylovelymonster · 27/02/2008 21:14

Wisteria - you sound v. interesting. Can I be your friend?

My NCT group wasn't that great for us - three of the mums really clicked and me and another girl just didn't fit in - it was obvious. They were instantly in each others pockets - but although I was a bit disappointed at first (I prepared coffee meet ups at our lovely home twice, and no-one came.....sob sob) - I really didn't mind. I understand that not everyone can just click like that, and I'm very friendly if I see them - which is quite often - but they always seem a bit awkward with me - not sure if it's because I have two heads or they feel a bit guilty to have left me out of things - but really, I have friends and I'm over it. Bit miffed I didn't have them to share baby stuff with though.............

rantinghousewife · 27/02/2008 21:16

Her loss, seriously it really is. I am very attracted to boho people (as Wisteria will testify).
Oh and don't get me started on the NCT, I persevered with it for ages but, like The Spice Girls, it just wasn't for me.

peacelily · 27/02/2008 21:17

Wisteria have just checked out your profile and at your camper, your gorgeous dog and the fairytale cake!!

Would love a camper but ONG how MUCH would it stand out around this rather up its own arse subsurb of south Manc!! I saw a Mum walking down the street the other day with proper bright red hair like jonathon Ross' wife with a swoopy coat on and proper dramatic make-up. I was greatly cheered by the sight of her!

Heated · 27/02/2008 21:19

You're right, you wouldn't want such a bad mannered friend. Just because they've gone through the miracle of birth and produced a child, it doesn't make them necessarily a nice person or someone you would have anything in common with.

mrsruffallo · 27/02/2008 21:19

LOL Ranting
Shall we set up a Boho meet- go and listen to some live music and sneer at all the conformist types??

mylovelymonster · 27/02/2008 21:20

I'd love a camper or 'day van' to go to the beach in the rain, and have a cup of tea & a game of snakes'n'ladders.

Wisteria · 27/02/2008 21:21

PMSL at you rant as usual

I will probably get told this is wrong but I think it may be a bit 'area dependent' with the cliquey anti boho aspect. I know friends in other areas who would never have struggled in that respect but I moved to a small ex mining area and found that to be honest there was more of a 'born here, bred here, belong here' attitude where outsiders or any quirkiness was distrusted. The friends I did make (and still have for the most part) were all also 'foreigners' but not like me, just more accepting of diversity IYKWIM.

mylovelymonster · 27/02/2008 21:21

Do I have to dye my hair to be hobo boho?

rantinghousewife · 27/02/2008 21:22

Ahh, the divine MrsR, yes let's, do the rest of you want to come? We can congratulate ourselves on our subversiveness.(sp)

peacelily · 27/02/2008 21:22

Hi mylovelymonster your experience mirros mine. 3 of the Mums really clicked and still see each other, me and the single parent were always made to feel ever so slightly excluded even though they were superficially pleasant. I know the clique 3 still meet up cos I sometimes see them at the Drs bit awkward. One of them even had another dc and didn't even text .

Somehow me dh and the single Mum to be just weren't accepted probably too " alternative" tbh.

Wisteria · 27/02/2008 21:25

To the OP (as I think it's been hijacked a little) - I really think what happened to you just displayed the complete lack of upbringing and manners of the offending cow at the baby class - I would never do that as it's vulgar and rude

peacelily · 27/02/2008 21:27

Also to OP cos we have hijacked I think her appalling rudeness shows she'a basically insecure and not the sort of person you'd want to know anyway.

How awful that some people think it's ok to behave like this.

Wisteria · 27/02/2008 21:27

I'll come

OrmIrian · 27/02/2008 21:30

How horrible! I 'd feel a bit hurt too

From everything I've heard M&T groups are one good reason to be a WOHM!

hazeyjane · 27/02/2008 21:34

I've moved twice since having my dd's (23 months and 9 months), and one of the worst things about it is having to go to all the new toddler groups, it just takes me back to the first few weeks of college, when your trying to suss people out, but it's slightly more difficult when you have a screaming baby and a whiney toddler.

I went to one nct meeting in the village I've just moved from, where I accidently threw an open penknife (I'm not hard BTW, I was just trying to peel an apple) across a room full of babies, I don't know if its possible to get a lifetime ban from the nct, but...

I'd like to think I was bohemian, but since having babies I've just become scruffy.

Wisteria · 27/02/2008 21:34

I have an anecdote about M&T groups from my distant memory.....

I was sitting there, about 8 months in...don't tell me I don't have sticking power ......and suddenly found myself joining in with a discussion on how often you clean the oven.

When I went home I actually discussed this with dh quite seriously and said I should be doing it once a week apparently - he looked at me like this and told me not to go again

rantinghousewife · 27/02/2008 21:34

I got lucky with our M&T group, they were, in the main lovely but, I went to a few that gave off 'You're not our type' vibes.
To the OP, that woman is rude and clearly not fit to be a potential friend. How chuffing dare she!

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