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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cf parents or me?

34 replies

Mydogbog · 06/08/2023 19:28

Right I don't want to be outing but I'm actually a bit annoyed.

My sister (30 with autism) got concert tickets for her birthday. Standing and hard to get cost around £300.

I want to add she is going to the tour four times in 4 other cities with friends.

Because my parents didn't want her to go on her own they have also given me concert tickets for my birthday £300)

I don't like the singer have no interest in going and I'm also a young (early 20s) single mum in tempary accommodation. I my children need nappies and food and that £300 would of got my daughter a bed to replace her travel cot she's currently in.

I'm really annoyed should I just let it go and stop being selfish.

I think I'm most annoyed that it's a gift for my sister on my birthday and I'm jealous

OP posts:
StressedToDeathhhh · 06/08/2023 19:29

Can you sell the ticket? That's really shit

Cherrysoup · 06/08/2023 19:37

Sell it. That’s ridiculous of them.

TomatoSandwiches · 06/08/2023 19:39

Sell it they are being ridiculous.

Mehmeh22 · 06/08/2023 19:39

That is not a birthday present. I wonder what other batshittery you have had to put up with previously if you think this is in anyway normal?

AnSolas · 06/08/2023 19:40

Not CF but mean to make your birthday gift a sister babysitting job.

kerrywhatKERRYWHAAAT · 06/08/2023 19:41

I would sell the tickets.
Your parents buying you tickets to something you have no interest in so your sister can go a 5th time is odd behaviour on their part.

StormInaDcup99 · 06/08/2023 19:44

I'd be really upset. They seem to have no thought for you or your situation

calmcoco · 06/08/2023 19:44

That's dreadful.

This one incident is not enough info to judge on but I'm wanting to ask a lot of questions to understand whether this could be a genuine error or if your parents are actually toxic.

You should sell the ticket.

Boofay · 06/08/2023 19:44

Offer to sell your ticket to one of your parents. I have an 18 year old autistic daughter and there's no way she could attend a concert alone, so sell the ticket to someone your sister knows.
Having said that, it was incredibly unfair of your parents to disguise a sister-sitting job as a birthday gift, especially as the value of the ticket would be so useful to you.

Ifyouarehappyandyouknowit123 · 06/08/2023 19:45

That is awful of them, try to sell the ticket.

Doggymummar · 06/08/2023 19:47

Sell it and divorce your family

SauvignonBlanche · 06/08/2023 19:49

Tell your sister/ parents first (to give them first refusal) but definitely sell it!

DandelionLeaves · 06/08/2023 19:49

No, that is not a birthday gift for you. I agree you should sell it if you can. The most I'd do would be to offer to go with your sister as a favour to her and your parents, but it shouldn't come at the expense of a gift that's actually for your personal use and enjoyment.

OhcantthInkofaname · 06/08/2023 19:50

Do not let this go! Return it to them and tell them that you could use things for your children not their child.

Stompythedinosaur · 06/08/2023 19:51

I think that's really thoughtless and unkind.

I would let your parents know you will sell the ticket as you aren't interested in attending and could use the money. They can buy it, if they want.

cansu · 06/08/2023 19:51

That is ridiculous. You need to tell them straight how you feel about that.

CatsOnTheChair · 06/08/2023 19:53

If sister needs a chaperone, both tickets should have been her present.
Then £600 for you for your birthday.

Agree with others - tell your parents the ticket is being sold, and would they like first refusal.

husbandcallsmepickle · 06/08/2023 19:54

I agree with PP: Offer it to sell it to DP for face value

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/08/2023 20:27

No you absolutely shouldn’t let it go. This is awful of them to prioritise your sister. Do your parents understand you are a separate person or that you really need cash?

Brefugee · 06/08/2023 20:39

they're probably being thoughtless rather than unkind.
(when i buy my daughter - not autistic - tickets as gift, i usually get 2 and she chooses a companion. usually her sister but not always)

In your shoes i would point out to your parents what you said here and ask them to sell the tickets back to where they bought them (for fan resale) or one of them to use them

You may have to be explicit in what sort of gifts you would like in future. They probably think they're giving you a nice change from a stressful life?

WhamBamThankU · 06/08/2023 20:42

Really unfair OP. Tell them you'll be selling it and offer them first refusal. X

HunterHearstHelmsley · 06/08/2023 20:46

Bloody hell, I got annoyed when my mom gave me a pair of shoes for Christmas that were originally meant for my sister.

Taylor Swift? That is a lead booker event so resale may be tricky.

If not Taylor, get that thing on Twickets!

fancreek · 06/08/2023 20:47

Taylor Swift? That is a lead booker event so resale may be tricky.

No it isn't. Sell it OP!

Kaibashira · 06/08/2023 20:52

YANBU.
Tell your parents one of them should go with her.
Even if you don't get an alternative gift, it's worth making the point that "the gift of chaperoning my sister to a concert I have no interest in" is no gift at all.
God, how can people be so obtuse!
Don't go, it will ruin your birthday. Go have fun doing something you like instead (and try not to think about the wasted £300).

Callyem · 06/08/2023 20:55

I would tell them outright exactly what you have said here.

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