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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use my divorce settlement to travel the uk by motorhome

82 replies

beanii · 06/08/2023 13:37

So I'm just about to get my share of our jointly owned house following our divorce.

I'm 48 and I've remarried and feel is rather spend some of the money on taking a year or two out and travelling the UK by motorhome whilst I can - but part of me feels guilty as this isn't the 'norm' and should do the sensible thing and put it towards another house etc 🤷‍♀️

Having been through a toxic upbringing and then a long toxic marriage, ice realised life is short.

So am I being unreasonable to take a year or two out?

OP posts:
spongebunnyfatpants · 06/08/2023 17:41

Which will you regret more? Doing it or not doing it?
I say go for it, you may never get the opportunity again. Life is for living.

Original poster
beanii · 06/08/2023 19:54

I guess probably not doing it 🤔

It's just society brainwashes you into thinking you conform to the normal routine, guess that's why I'm questioning myself.

OP posts:
Icycloud · 06/08/2023 19:55

Put it towards another house
arrange a less expensive holiday
get on with your life

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/08/2023 19:57

Is your new DH coming? Do you have a home? Anyone else to consider?

I travelled the world for a year after my divorce and don't regret a second of it. It reset me, convinced me I'm strong and 'enough', gave me something else to think about and talk about. I was younger than you but if it won't adversely affect your life, why not?

DeltaAlphaDelta79 · 06/08/2023 19:59

As soon as DC is old enough, we will be selling up and downsizing and travelling uk and europe in a motorhome. I can work remotely which is lucky, but I am done with living conventionally. We cannot wait!

Testina · 06/08/2023 19:59

I personally think you’d be unreasonable not to make a planned and thought out decision. One or two years sounds pretty vague! I love my campervan and I love the UK, but I wouldn’t want a 2 year holiday travelling round just the UK.
Life is too short not to enjoy it, but it’s also too short not to plan things, IMO!
Do you rent with your spouse now? Will they have to rent without you?

RoseBucket · 06/08/2023 20:00

Do it!

CherryMaDeara · 06/08/2023 20:19

I agree with Testina, I would personally use the money to travel abroad in 6 months rather than a year or two in the UK. Or you could work abroad too and make it longer.

JustMarriedBecca · 06/08/2023 20:21

YABU.
Go to France instead.

I'd say buy a house then rent it out and then use the money from that to fund your travels.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 06/08/2023 20:27

My elderly neighbour used to say (on his way to the pub/bowling club) "the grass will be there when I'm not" (meaning needing cut).
He was right - he died and the grass is still there.
I never did get to the Greek Islands.
Do it!

AquamarineGlass · 06/08/2023 20:30

I'm not sure why people are telling you to go on THEIR dream trip rather than yours.

It sounds wonderful. Enjoy!

Testina · 06/08/2023 20:31

Easy to be complacent about your grass still being there when you have grass!

What are you actually planning to do for 2 years in the UK? Use wild camping and paid sites and work your way around a few weeks at a time per county, sight seeing?

Thewolvesarerunningagain · 06/08/2023 20:34

House schmouse. Hit the road and live your dream. Though to be totally fair I’m not sure how dreamy motorhoming the UK is likely to be. For a 2 year trip you could go a lot further and pick up a motor home a lot cheaper if you buy in France/ Netherlands (left hand drive too!)

TenOhSeven · 06/08/2023 20:36

Where do you live now and where will you live when you've finished your mammoth road trip?

Stompythedinosaur · 06/08/2023 20:37

Not unreasonable, but have you thought through your retirement plans? I wouldn't swap a couple of years fun now for a miserable retirement.

Cyllie33 · 06/08/2023 20:37

Absolutely do something for yourself, do something different, take the trip.

You’re a long time dead

Original poster
beanii · 07/08/2023 11:17

Thank you for all of your replies ❤️

Not really interested in travelling to Europe or abroad - we are both very interested in the history of our country though so just a leisurely tour of everywhere really I guess - hence the vague timescale.

Yes I agree with planning but do we have to plan the amount of months? We may be content with 6 months when the time comes or may wish to just carry on 🤷‍♀️

We rent at present and my husband is an author so can write whilst on the road.

As for planning for retirement, who knows if I'll still be alive? What happens to people who haven't paid in or saved up? Not left destitute on the streets are they 🤷‍♀️😂

OP posts:
M4J4 · 07/08/2023 11:48

As for planning for retirement, who knows if I'll still be alive? What happens to people who haven't paid in or saved up? Not left destitute on the streets are they 🤷‍♀️😂

No, because they rely on tax payers to pay their rent.

LoobyDop · 07/08/2023 11:52

Sorry to be the pooper, but was one of the reasons your toxic marriage went on for so long that you didn’t have the financial independence/security to get out sooner? Don’t put yourself into that position.

LostThestral · 07/08/2023 11:55

use some of it towards a new house which you rent out while you travel?

kannnet96 · 07/08/2023 12:03

Surely there's a middle ground. Some put away for retirement/home whatever and some used to Travel

Original poster
beanii · 07/08/2023 12:05

LoobyDop · 07/08/2023 11:52

Sorry to be the pooper, but was one of the reasons your toxic marriage went on for so long that you didn’t have the financial independence/security to get out sooner? Don’t put yourself into that position.

No it was because I didn't see it for a long time and when I did he'd taken away all of my self confidence etc.

I was the one who earned the money - he was let's say 'work shy'.

OP posts:
Robyn847 · 07/08/2023 12:44

Pfft! Normal schnormal!

Get your suitcases packed ready and go! This is a wonderful idea! There's no need to confirm to what others expect of you, and who's to say what's reasonable or normal anyway? You have the means and the gumption, you're not harming anyone and you'll kick yourself if you don't go..... JUST DO IT!

If you ever past J23/24/25 on the M6 please call in. I'll have the kettle on and the best biscuits out. You can use my loo, refill your thermos and tell me your tales.

Please just promise me you'll buy that moho!

Heyhoherewegoagain · 07/08/2023 12:47

As for planning for retirement, who knows if I'll still be alive? What happens to people who haven't paid in or saved up? Not left destitute on the streets are they 🤷‍♀️😂

No they’re subsidised by mugs like me who don’t spunk it against the wall travelling in a motor home.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the one doing it wrong, I really do

Brownbearsinthewoods · 07/08/2023 13:15

Life is short OP and you've had a tough life so far. Taking a year out could be the thing you need to heal from the effects of your toxic former marriage. If you don't want to spend all the money you could look at a long term motor home rental or plan to buy one and sell if when you return. You'll at least get some of your money back.

I'd do it myself in a heartbeat! In fact, I'm now off to google the cost of motor homes...😂

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