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Original poster

Help- missing husband and debt

55 replies

Bobby80 · 06/08/2023 10:09

I’m swinging from being broken to furious and back again but right now I need to draw on people who have more knowledge/experience than me.

Been married for 12 years. 2 children. DH has always had an unhealthy relationship with drink but it kind of sat within social norms if that makes sense. Recently the balance has tipped as he’s been taking binges that last a few days. The pattern is - disappear for 2 days binge drinking. Reappear, be broken and remorseful, stop drinking for 6-8 months. And repeat.

Fast forward to now. He’s not been seen or contactable since first thing on Fri. I’ve made the commitment to separate. Told friends. Moved all his stuff into the garage. Locks changed.

The house is in my name. I can afford it (just) on my wage. I have no debt. I dealt with all finances through my account and he would pay X amount in to me. No joint accounts. No joint debt.

My question is- he has debt. When we separate will I be liable for any of it?

My emotions around his behaviour/out children/separation etc have to be put to one side just now so I can be practical in my planning.

OP posts:
FedUpMumof10YO · 06/08/2023 10:12

I think because you are married it doesn't matter if the house is in your name or not. He's probably entitled to half of it. Best get some legal input though to be sure.

Same goes for his debt - possible you are liable.

LlawerOCrap · 06/08/2023 10:12

I would have a look online at your credit report - experian - and see what comes up. If its in his name only then they are not your debts. You won't have to pay.

123ZYX · 06/08/2023 10:13

If you're married, the house being in your name will be meaningless. All assets and liabilities will be considered together. Starting point of a 50:50 split, although the need to house children will be taken into account (plus each party's ability to support themself)

LlawerOCrap · 06/08/2023 10:14

Well done for deciding that enough is enough. You don't deserve to live with this stress, and neither do the children.

LlawerOCrap · 06/08/2023 10:15

Step change/citizens advice will be able to advise in relation to the debt.

Oysterbabe · 06/08/2023 10:16

After 12 years and 2 children everything is joint, your house and his debt included.

trevthecat · 06/08/2023 10:17

The house may be in your name but married for 12 years will mean it's split

Rainbowshit · 06/08/2023 10:20

Your assets are shared because you are married. He will be entitled to a share of the house. His debt will be in his name only.

Seasideanticscanleadtosandybuckets · 06/08/2023 10:20

Apply for financial severance ASAP. My ex had debt.. I wasn't responsible..

Original poster
Bobby80 · 06/08/2023 10:25

For a few reasons I don’t want to explain on a forum I know he won’t ask for half the house.

What I’m more concerned about is can I be forced to pay debts taken out on his name? They aren’t joint or secured against the house (to my knowledge, unless this can be done without the homeowner’s permission).

OP posts:
Original poster
Bobby80 · 06/08/2023 10:26

Seasideanticscanleadtosandybuckets · 06/08/2023 10:20

Apply for financial severance ASAP. My ex had debt.. I wasn't responsible..

Are you able to tell me how you do this?

OP posts:
NeedToChangeName · 06/08/2023 10:27

Be wary of taking legal advice from strangers on the Internet. They mean well, but you haven’t even said what country you live in......

Where I live, the value of the house wouldn't necessarily be split 50 50

i would expect that -

(1) you aren't liable to pay his creditors unless you are guarantor

(2) But his debts will probably be taken into account when determining the matrimonial 'pot' to be shared out

(3) as spouse, he may have occupancy right to live in the house, even though you own it

Original poster
Bobby80 · 06/08/2023 10:28

NeedToChangeName · 06/08/2023 10:27

Be wary of taking legal advice from strangers on the Internet. They mean well, but you haven’t even said what country you live in......

Where I live, the value of the house wouldn't necessarily be split 50 50

i would expect that -

(1) you aren't liable to pay his creditors unless you are guarantor

(2) But his debts will probably be taken into account when determining the matrimonial 'pot' to be shared out

(3) as spouse, he may have occupancy right to live in the house, even though you own it

Im in the UK- Edinburgh so Scottish law.

OP posts:
LovelyJubbly12345 · 06/08/2023 10:40

Hello Op.

I am a retired Bank Manager and I worked for decades in Debt Recovery and Mortgage Debt Recovery. I spent years recovering debt for 2 major banks, I also was a tutor for many years, teaching staff how to recover debt.

Categorically, without any doubt, you are NOT liable for any debt that is in your husband's sole name.

A creditor can only pursue the person who is named on the debt, or they can pursue a Guarantor, if there is one. I presume you have never been a Guarantor for him?

Any questions, please ask.

I am amazed at how many people comment to say you are liable, without any real understanding of how debt recovery works!!

Cakeandcardio · 06/08/2023 10:41

I don't know anything about the law and debt but know Scottish laws for other things are very different to English for example. Could you afford a consultation with a solicitor? I think getting solid financial advice now will help you a great deal in the long run.
Good luck OP.

LovelyJubbly12345 · 06/08/2023 10:45

Hi again Op. I'm also in Scotland. Just across the water from you actually! Same rules apply across the UK. I did Debt Recovery in England and latterly at Drummond House at The Gyle.

As a PP alluded, his solicitor could of course try to put debt into the mix when you work out who is getting what from the marriage, which of course is something else entirely. But his creditors cannot go after you.

I had a very good lawyer in Edinburgh when I left my first marriage. I can't remember her name, as it was 15 years ago, but there are some excellent divorce lawyers in Edinburgh.

Original poster
Bobby80 · 06/08/2023 10:46

LovelyJubbly12345 · 06/08/2023 10:40

Hello Op.

I am a retired Bank Manager and I worked for decades in Debt Recovery and Mortgage Debt Recovery. I spent years recovering debt for 2 major banks, I also was a tutor for many years, teaching staff how to recover debt.

Categorically, without any doubt, you are NOT liable for any debt that is in your husband's sole name.

A creditor can only pursue the person who is named on the debt, or they can pursue a Guarantor, if there is one. I presume you have never been a Guarantor for him?

Any questions, please ask.

I am amazed at how many people comment to say you are liable, without any real understanding of how debt recovery works!!

Thank you for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it.

No, I’ve never been guarantor or had my name associated with anybody else’s debt.

OP posts:
Gymmum82 · 06/08/2023 10:46

His debt is his. Your house is also half his. He will have to agree not to make a claim on it. If he does he could be entitled to half of it whether it’s in your name or not. You need a financial severance order as well as a divorce. If you divorce without one he can come after your house and pension at any point in the future

LightlySearedontheRealityGrill · 06/08/2023 10:51

He would have to take you to court and have his debt made matrimonial, so included in the pot and however the judge decides to divvy that up. And that would be very expensive (and unlikely in the circumstances).

vivainsomnia · 06/08/2023 10:57

Let's not confused who a creditor can pursue legally and what a judge would rule in a divorce.

A creditor cannot go after someone not the sole owner of a debt.

Debts however are considered joint in a marriage and will be deemed a such for the purpose of divorcing unless it can clearly evidenced that it was used for the sole purpose of the other party.

Jellifulfruit · 06/08/2023 11:00

Since Friday morning?! Lord, no wonder you’ve had enough. where does he explain he’s been when he eventually shows up (in the past)?

ichifanny · 06/08/2023 11:04

No you aren’t liable for someone else’s debts in Scotland unless it’s a joint account or you are a guarantor . In a divorce they may take that into account when splitting assets though .

Original poster
Bobby80 · 06/08/2023 11:04

vivainsomnia · 06/08/2023 10:57

Let's not confused who a creditor can pursue legally and what a judge would rule in a divorce.

A creditor cannot go after someone not the sole owner of a debt.

Debts however are considered joint in a marriage and will be deemed a such for the purpose of divorcing unless it can clearly evidenced that it was used for the sole purpose of the other party.

The debts were for his own purpose and as we’ve always had separate accounts I’m confident I can evidence this.

OP posts:
LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 06/08/2023 11:05

You are not legally liable for his debt. His creditors cannot make you pay.

However, when you resolve financial matters his debt may be taken into account so that it comes out of the pot; thereby decreasing your share of other assets.

I hear what you say about his not seeking a share of the FMH. I hope you are right. You know best about his motivations. But please do keep in mind that in the event he were to do so, the starting point for division of the FMH is 50/50 and that whilst factors such as need and contribution may well decrease his share below 50 per cent, it would be a truly and wholly exceptional case where one party got no share of the FMH at all.

I wish you well.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 06/08/2023 11:07

Sorry I should have added that this is the law in England and Wales. I should not have presumed that is where you are.

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