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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ear piercing....

52 replies

princesslouloubananahammock · 05/08/2023 09:28

AIBU....

DD is 7 and had been going on and on about having her ears pierced all throughout year 2. We explained she could only get done at the beginning of the summer holidays... went through everything with her about what to expect and how we'd have to look after them etc

I booked into a local piercing studio for the beginning of summer and she was all excited for it to be done.

We go along, she does one ear and obviously it hurt a bit more then she was expecting. She asked to only have one done... I said it's fine the other one will be done in to time and it will all be over (something to that affect) and kept talking to her to distract her. All good and both done.
Been a couple of weeks and the earrings have been fine no issues at all. Kept clean all good.

Until last night, one fell out. She has refused to let me put it back and is again saying she just wants one.

I have said either 2 or none.

I'm in a disagreement with myself because on the one hand... it's her body if she just wants one.
But on the other I know what will happen. She will have 1, the other hole will close up. She'll return to school and someone will say something about her only having one earring and she'll want two again....

OP posts:

GoodChat · 05/08/2023 09:31

Don't force her to have it back in. Let her have one.

SummaLuvin · 05/08/2023 09:32

it sounds to me like, maybe, it's a situation that she's not mature enough to handle?

ForensicFlossy · 05/08/2023 09:36

My dd had one Earring in for about 18 months after one fell out. She eventually had the other ear redone. Why does it matter if she only has one in?

Blabla81 · 05/08/2023 09:39

How on earth did one fall out? (Not doubting you) - those first studs are always on like bloody superglue. Can you try and get it back in while she’s asleep? She’s probably only saying she wants one because she’s too scared to put it back in.

YourNameGoesHere · 05/08/2023 09:40

Given she initially wanted to stick to just one I would be wondering if she had engineered this so that one 'fell out'?

Nagado · 05/08/2023 09:42

I like to think I’d try and tempt her to push through with it by offering her a new pair of earrings, but if that didn’t work I’d just shrug and tell her that you won’t be paying for another piercing if the kids at school laugh at her for only wearing one, so she’ll either have to save up her pocket money or take it out and let them close up if she doesn’t want to continue just wearing one earring. Then try again in a year or two if she still wants to.

In reality, I know I’d let her have the one earring and then take her back to get the other pierced. Although I would do the whole ‘I told you so’.

coreas · 05/08/2023 09:44

I have said either 2 or none.

Why? What's your reasoning here?

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/08/2023 09:46

Some school says 2 small studs. One in each ear

SoRad · 05/08/2023 09:51

Just let her have 1 and then if the other closes she can have it repierced at the beginning of next summer…. Or whenever. It’ll have been a year and her memory of the pain will have faded… plus she’ll be a little bit more mature.

My dd had hers done this summer too. She’s 10 and I’d been putting it off for a few years, told her not until high school but I caved as actually she is mature at 10 to understand what’s involved.

My own ear piercings are all over the place. I only have 1 on lower lobe on my left. But then 2 higher up. On my right I have 2 in my lower lobe and 1 higher up.

I think random is best 😀

Original poster

princesslouloubananahammock · 05/08/2023 09:51

ForensicFlossy · 05/08/2023 09:36

My dd had one Earring in for about 18 months after one fell out. She eventually had the other ear redone. Why does it matter if she only has one in?

In my OP I said I know at some point she will change her mind again. And I don't want to pay out to have another piercing done in a few months time.

Yep I think she's scared about having it put back in even though the ear is not painful to touch. I have reminded her that when the 6 weeks are up I HAVE to change the earrings so even that one piercing will need to changed at some point. She looked worried!

It's a titanium earring with screw on ball bearings in each end so she's twiddle it and it's come in screwed.

OP posts:

SoRad · 05/08/2023 09:52

princesslouloubananahammock · 05/08/2023 09:51

In my OP I said I know at some point she will change her mind again. And I don't want to pay out to have another piercing done in a few months time.

It's a titanium earring with screw on ball bearings in each end so she's twiddle it and it's come in screwed.

Show quote history

Just put it back in when she’s asleep?

Why do you have to change them in 6 weeks anyway?

Original poster

princesslouloubananahammock · 05/08/2023 09:56

coreas · 05/08/2023 09:44

I have said either 2 or none.

Why? What's your reasoning here?

Because if she lets one close and is stuck with one earring I don't want to nagged to get another done so she "fits in" as I know that is gonna happen.

So she can either have the two she originally asked for or none at all and if she wants them done again when she is older she can save up. Two or no earrings she can live with it but if she has one and then feels uncomfortable as someone has said something it's going to be harder to let her live with it.

I'm just struggling with parenting in genera at the mo. 24/7 parenting with no break is taking its toll and I'm struggling to wonder if I'm being unreasonable or not.
I won't be paying for any further piercings, my reasoning is she should just take them both out and saves any further arguments for possibility of future requests if she only has 1.
She is ridiculously stubborn and will not let me put it back. I tried in her sleep last night but a crust had formed so I couldn't do it.

OP posts:

coreas · 05/08/2023 09:58

So you would rather put your DD through discomfort and pain then pay for another piercing if she decides in the future she wants the other ear re pierced?

Also you don't HAVE to change them in 6 weeks at all, who told you this nonsense?

I think YABU - there is no reason to insist she puts the earring back in and they're is even less reason to remove the other one.

80sMum · 05/08/2023 09:58

I think YABU to have pandered to a seven-year-old's uninformed whining for having her ears pierced! Clearly she didn't understand what would be involved.

It would have been better to have told her a firm "no" and that she if she still wants to have her ears (or anything else) pierced when she's eighteen, she can have it done then, pay for it herself and take full responsibility for her decision.

coreas · 05/08/2023 09:58

She is ridiculously stubborn

I can see where she gets it

Tivadivaz · 05/08/2023 10:02

My 10 and 9 year old had theirs done a week ago. Two days later they both lost one on the same day (titanium ball/ screw) and they hadn’t been fiddling.
We managed to find the post but not the tiny ball.
the saline spray really helped us get them back in again and we used silicone backs to hold them in place till I could get to the shop again.
When I went back to ask for new balls to attach, he told me there must be a dodgy batch at the moment as he has had quite a few people come back having lost the balls recently.
I have made sure the balls are definitely tight and so far so good with them since

Original poster

princesslouloubananahammock · 05/08/2023 10:03

coreas · 05/08/2023 09:58

So you would rather put your DD through discomfort and pain then pay for another piercing if she decides in the future she wants the other ear re pierced?

Also you don't HAVE to change them in 6 weeks at all, who told you this nonsense?

I think YABU - there is no reason to insist she puts the earring back in and they're is even less reason to remove the other one.

Where did I say that??

The piercing lady said... she said it had to be changed at 6 weeks. She gave a load of instructions on keeping it clean etc and said it had to changed at 6 weeks.
She had it done via needle rather then gun if that makes any difference.

OP posts:

GoodChat · 05/08/2023 10:04

They don't have to be changed at 6 weeks, they just can be.

SoRad · 05/08/2023 10:05

All mine have been with a needle and they’ve never had to be changed after 6 weeks.

Are you sure she didn’t just say you ‘can’ change them?

Again…. Do it when she’s
asleep

coreas · 05/08/2023 10:08

Where did I say that??

You have said more than once you don't want to pay for her to have it re done if she decides to in the future. You have said more than once her choice is 2 or none. The only reason you have given is financial.

The piercing lady said... she said it had to be changed at 6 weeks. She gave a load of instructions on keeping it clean etc and said it had to changed at 6 weeks.

Are you sure she didn't say you 'can' change it? I would call them and double check what was said because this does not sound right at all.

GoodChat · 05/08/2023 10:13

Two or no earrings she can live with it but if she has one and then feels uncomfortable as someone has said something it's going to be harder to let her live with it.

Surely if she gets upset she can just... take the other earring out...?

Mummy2022FT · 05/08/2023 10:14

I know it's a bit late for this, (could help someone else) but a girl of your DD age should have had two piercers at each ear and do them both at the same time.

It's pretty obvious to me she's only saying she now wants one earring as didn't want one go to through the pain of having a second.

Original poster

princesslouloubananahammock · 05/08/2023 10:18

coreas · 05/08/2023 10:08

Where did I say that??

The piercing lady said... she said it had to be changed at 6 weeks. She gave a load of instructions on keeping it clean etc and said it had to changed at 6 weeks.

Are you sure she didn't say you 'can' change it? I would call them and double check what was said because this does not sound right at all.

But that's not pain and suffering is it? So possibly a bit dramatic.

Yep, ok I will explain that she can keep one. But I will not paying for more, so if she decides one earring is not working out for her she'll just have to take it out and have none.

Yes it based on financial decision because i am not made of money. I honestly don't think she'd get back in the piercing chair again so I don't think she will even ask.

OP posts:

Original poster

princesslouloubananahammock · 05/08/2023 10:19

SoRad · 05/08/2023 10:05

All mine have been with a needle and they’ve never had to be changed after 6 weeks.

Are you sure she didn’t just say you ‘can’ change them?

Again…. Do it when she’s
asleep

Yeah I was abit surprised when she was insisting they had to be changed... I mean DD doesn't particularly like the ones she has in I think she imagined something a bit more sparkly so we were gonna get them changed anyway.... but prob won't now as don't think she will let us!

OP posts:

Heyhoherewegoagain · 05/08/2023 10:20

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/08/2023 09:46

Some school says 2 small studs. One in each ear

Does this not come from the place of no more than 1 per ear rather than they must have 1 in each?

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