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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ear piercing....

52 replies

princesslouloubananahammock · 05/08/2023 09:28

AIBU....

DD is 7 and had been going on and on about having her ears pierced all throughout year 2. We explained she could only get done at the beginning of the summer holidays... went through everything with her about what to expect and how we'd have to look after them etc

I booked into a local piercing studio for the beginning of summer and she was all excited for it to be done.

We go along, she does one ear and obviously it hurt a bit more then she was expecting. She asked to only have one done... I said it's fine the other one will be done in to time and it will all be over (something to that affect) and kept talking to her to distract her. All good and both done.
Been a couple of weeks and the earrings have been fine no issues at all. Kept clean all good.

Until last night, one fell out. She has refused to let me put it back and is again saying she just wants one.

I have said either 2 or none.

I'm in a disagreement with myself because on the one hand... it's her body if she just wants one.
But on the other I know what will happen. She will have 1, the other hole will close up. She'll return to school and someone will say something about her only having one earring and she'll want two again....

OP posts:
YouAreAlwaysOnMyMind · 05/08/2023 10:21

If when she gets back to school, she doesn’t like having only one, and you don’t want to pay for the second to be redone, you tell her the option is 1 or to take it out and have none.

It’s very clear that she isn’t old enough and doesn’t want pierced ears enough based on what you’ve said anyway.

I hate the suggestion to put it back in when she’s asleep, that’s absolutely awful.

Just leave her alone to enjoy the holidays.

CheshireDing · 05/08/2023 10:21

I would just leave it. One earring, if she keeps that in until next summer hols then maybe the other ear could be redone then.

I think 7 is probably going to understand that it would hurt (however many times you tell them). DD has to wait until she was nearly 11 so should would understand and be responsible

DS is 7 and he definitely seems too young to completely grasp that such a thing would hurt

my friend is 50 and sometimes wears one earring 🤷‍♀️🤣

coreas · 05/08/2023 10:23

But that's not pain and suffering is it? So possibly a bit dramatic.

Not in the eyes of your 7 year old it isn't.

Yep, ok I will explain that she can keep one. But I will not paying for more, so if she decides one earring is not working out for her she'll just have to take it out and have none.

That's not what you said 2 or none because you didn't want her going to school with one. Now you are saying she can keep one and remover or if she chooses, which is actually fine.

Yes it based on financial decision because i am not made of money. I honestly don't think she'd get back in the piercing chair again so I don't think she will even ask.

So why are you making a big deal out of itS. This is a nothing situation. An earring fell out. She doesn't care. Stop making it into something. Leave her be.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/08/2023 10:23

Some schools don't let the pupils wear earrings at all (so need to be removed and re-inserted) some it's just for PE .

My DD had hers done in the summer holiday between Junior and Secondary

Cheeesus · 05/08/2023 10:27

I think you need some better advice re care. I think the piercing place wants you back to make more money out of you.

As a start, whether it’s one or two that you end up with, I would try and leave them for two months in the original earrings. When you do change them for something sparkly, if you can get titanium then that would be idea for as long as possible. (Like they get pierced in.)
Don’t poke about with them too much. Don’t turn them every day.

Have you asked her if she can try putting it in herself? Or if you can do it very slowly and she says stop if she wants?

Diddykong · 05/08/2023 10:28

The piercing place told me they can't re-pierce the same hole as it has scar tissue.

TimeForTeaAndG · 05/08/2023 10:30

This is not the hill to die on, OP.

After 6 weeks it doesn't have to be changed, having had several piercings I've never strictly changed the initial jewellery at 6 weeks, there's literally no reason for it. Except my lip stud which was too long once the swelling went down.

Stop worrying about whether anyone at school says anything about having only one earring, it's irrelevant. If they do and she is upset you remind her that she chose to not have the 2nd one put back in.

DurhamDurham · 05/08/2023 10:31

I'd just take the other one out and she can have her ears re pierced when she's older and can handle the responsibility.

TimeForTeaAndG · 05/08/2023 10:31

Diddykong · 05/08/2023 10:28

The piercing place told me they can't re-pierce the same hole as it has scar tissue.

Depends on the scar tissue, age, amount etc. I've had an old piercing redone. It hurts a little bit more than a new piercing but wasn't impossible.

Siriusmuggle · 05/08/2023 10:45

princesslouloubananahammock · 05/08/2023 10:03

Where did I say that??

The piercing lady said... she said it had to be changed at 6 weeks. She gave a load of instructions on keeping it clean etc and said it had to changed at 6 weeks.
She had it done via needle rather then gun if that makes any difference.

Show quote history

Did she mean that you need to take her back at 6 weeks for a check up and downsize? That would make sense.

Zanatdy · 05/08/2023 10:51

I think one will look silly so I’m with you on none or 2. My DD had both pierced at the same time and good job as she wouldn’t have wanted to go through it a second time. I don’t think she will ever go back in the piercing chair either!

paintedcupcake · 05/08/2023 10:57

Can't you try and put it back in when she's asleep?

coreas · 05/08/2023 11:01

paintedcupcake · 05/08/2023 10:57

Can't you try and put it back in when she's asleep?

Or not because she does not want it put back in.

So many people have suggested this. Does no one offer their 7 year old the basic respect of not doing things to their biodiesel when they have said no?

What are you teaching these children Sad

coreas · 05/08/2023 11:01

Bodies. Not biodiesel (I have never typed that)

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 05/08/2023 11:02

Heyhoherewegoagain · 05/08/2023 10:20

Does this not come from the place of no more than 1 per ear rather than they must have 1 in each?

Show quote history

Yea that's definitely a "this is the maximum allowed" rule not a "you have to be symmetrical" thing.

lostparcel · 05/08/2023 11:06

I agree with you wanting your daughter to have two. I'd gently persuade her to put it back in and tell her it will not be sore like when it was pierced. Then go shopping for a new pair. She's been through the pain of getting them pierced once and wouldn't want to go through that again if that piercing closes.

My daughter (she's much older than yours now. It was about the same age when she had them done) loves her pierced ears and has many earrings.

zingally · 05/08/2023 11:14

In the grand scheme of things, I'd shrug it off with a "that's fine, but if or when you decide to get a second one, you'll have to pay for it yourself. These piercings are a one-time deal."

To me it sounds like she actually isn't mature enough to deal with it.

Original poster
princesslouloubananahammock · 05/08/2023 11:32

There is def no persuading her.

She gets like this about things and just digs her heels in.
I have to cut her toenails in her sleep as she refuses to let anyone do it.

OP posts:
Bloodyleaverspartybollocks · 05/08/2023 11:37

Try cleaning the crust off so that you can try again when she's sleeping. This would bug me too.
Alternatively try and persuade her to try putting it back in herself so she's in control.

Moveoverdarlin · 05/08/2023 11:40

All this is exactly why I won’t let my daughter have her ears pierced until secondary school. She’ll look ridiculous with just one ear pierced.

LolaSmiles · 05/08/2023 11:46

The only piercings I've had to change after a set period are ones where you size down a bar size after the piercing has settled.

She's showing in her reaction and behaviour that she isn't mature enough to appreciate having a piercing and what it entails, which is understandable because she is only 7. In your shoes I'd take the other one out too, let them both heal and then say no to having them done until she's older.

My take with my DC is that until they're old enough to appreciate what's involved and the aftercare involved, they're too young to have any piercings.

user1471447924 · 05/08/2023 12:00

I’d be taking the other one out too and making her wait at least another year or two before she can have them repierced

RusticChips · 05/08/2023 12:21

My daughter had the titanium ones with the screw in ball and I couldn't wait to change them, I was worried if she got caught on something it would rip her ear as the back just does fall off. If she will let you put it back in do it quickly as my daughters ears closed up really quickly even if left out for one day for PE and we struggled to get them back in, she was 12 and but I found it better if she did it herself x

RusticChips · 05/08/2023 12:22

Sorry should say the back doesn't just come off.

Xrays · 05/08/2023 12:24

user1471447924 · 05/08/2023 12:00

I’d be taking the other one out too and making her wait at least another year or two before she can have them repierced

Me too. She’s not old enough to properly care for them herself, so in my mind too young to have them done.

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