To turn cleaner away

[123bumblebee]

We’ve had issues with cleaners before in the past. All started off well and then started turning up late, or cancelling last minute (sometimes after they were already supposed to be here). It got to the point I felt like I had another child with the number of life dramas my old cleaner had. She also broke things in my house and was careless scratching windows and clattering about.

We work long hours with a toddler. I don’t expect miracles. I’m very easy going, just do what you can do in the time. Can help themselves to drinks. Paid my last cleaner through lockdown even though we didn’t have her physically coming to us as I felt it was my duty as we were on furlough and working as a HCP.

After struggling on for a while without one for a while I’ve decided I can’t do it all and have gone to an agency who charge £££ but will sort everything. Great, I thought. Finally someone reliable! This morning I was supposed to be meeting the cleaner at 9 but she didn’t turn up until 9.20. Making excuses about traffic being bad (it wasn’t, I checked google maps and I know the route well it takes 20 mins to drive here).

I know life happens. I’m not a demon, a call to say she was running late would’ve been fine but instead I was stuck in limbo not knowing if she was showing up or not. I’m of the opinion you only get 1 chance to make a good first impression and if this was that, I can only foresee her getting less reliable as time goes on.

AIBU to have sent her away? AIBU to just want someone to turn up at the time they say they will?

YANBU. This is supposed to be making your life easier, not harder.

Ditch without a thought.

She's not a good fit for you.

No excuse for not at least calling you to say she was 'stuck in traffic' (or whatever other excuse)

Yanbu this is why we don’t have a cleaner could never find a reliable one!

Her bad. Wasn't a good start to a new job /interview.
I don't blame you

I feel your pain. Finding a reliable, competent cleaner seems to be like trying to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow at the moment.

Mine likes to randomly turn up when it suits her and gives me zero notice. Or sends someone else (who doesn't speak any English) to randomly turn up in her place and isn't great at cleaning either.

Apart from the “excuse” that unless you have hands free it is illegal to call, or text, when driving even when stopped in traffic, and pulling over to park safely might not be an option on many roads.

Maybe she didn't want to tell you that her childcare turned up late or her child was poorly or that her car isn't always reliable or that she got a panicked call from an elderly relative she cares for.

Many people turn to cleaning when there are few other options. One appeal is the flexibility.

Personally I don't care if they are a bit late sometimes and wouldn't turn someone away for being 20 mins late.

I have sacked cleaners for repeated last minute cancellation or leaving very early, before the job is done. But I'm flexible about time and in return they usually accommodate extra requests from me.

I went through a spate of terrible cleaners after we lost the first (utterly wonderful and brilliant) cleaner I had employed and I agree with you, it can be maddening: I also had one (who, in her defence, was a terrific cleaner when she actually cleaned) who seemed to be The Unluckiest Woman in the World - the excuses she came out with for being late / not turning up / sacking off halfway through would have filled a novel.

I've got a terrific cleaner just now who I found by asking for personal recommendations on our local FB page: she is local, a little bit older so doesn't have quite so many childcare emergencies (her children are teens) and self-employed, so in her own words, it's important to her to keep her client base manageable and happy. She is very good at her job and I pay her considerably above the going rate.

Do you have something similar where you could go for recommendations? I've tried agencies and they're not great, IME.

Also, as per PPs: I'm not a monster, I understand that life happens and sometimes issues are unavoidable, but I appreciate honesty and transparency.

I try to be a decent employer and in return, I expect anybody whose services I have contracted to treat me properly, too.

I've actually been thinking about this a lot recently (no, I have nothing better to do ) and I have developed a theory....

.... I think this is a post Covid issue.

Pre Covid, even if we did work at home, there was a more specific divide between work and home and somehow, the cleaner was someone who came on a set day and did the work and as long as it was done well, that was fine.

But now our lives are much more focused on our homes. We work from home more often, at a more intense level etc. There's a small but important shift in our thinking.

So instead of being a bit chilled about the cleaner, it becomes like a work meeting. we expect them to act as we would with colleagues - ie communicate, turn up on time etc etc.

While for cleaners, if anything, post covid things are harder. They always have their employees in the house, there's more expectations, probably more dirt because we're all around more etc etc.

Just my theory.

But OP, I'm with you - can't stand it when they don't arrive when they're supposed to. Also, for the first meeting, there was NO excuse.

If she was sent by an agency, won't they charge you for the clean as she turned up but you sent her away? I would have let her do the clean, but contacted the agency to ask them to send someone else next time.

It's her first day on the job, perhaps she didn't time there journey properly. Give her a break.

The admin involved in employing a cleaner seems like a huge hassle, loads of my colleagues complain about it constantly. I'd rather do my own cleaning than be dragged into any drama and issues.

@GingerIsBest I think you are spot on.
I am a cleaner and it is harder now everyone and their dog is at home..more mess and having to break from my routine and do everything back to front because the family have decided to have their lunch in the kitchen,work in the lounge instead of their office,be on a work call lasting an hour when I need to hoover.
It drives me mad.
A empty house where I can put my radio on and simply just get on is so much better all round.
Being late can happen but I always let clients know.

I think in general people seem to have become sloppy and rude. I get so frustrated sitting in waiting for someone to turn up to a prearranged meeting only for them to not bother, turn up 30 mins late and expect me to accommodate them etc. Like you I have decided enough is enough, if you dont run to a decent time schedule or at least have the decency to let me know you will be late then I cant be bothered to give you my time.

I’d give her a pass this one time but after that, any further issues, I’d be looking for someone else.

We use a local company and thought it would mean a more reliable schedule. Cleaner turned up this morning 2 hours earlier than what the supervisor told us 🙄Cleaner showed us her daily schedule and she was down to do our house at 10am, despite our notification saying to expect someone at 12.30! Why they can’t send a quick message to let you know is beyond me, if the cleaner had her daily schedule sent to her at some stage in the past 24 hours. We had someone doing our MOT at the same time and it was all a bit chaotic.

When we were doing our loft, we contacted a few companies to discuss it and get quotes etc. They'd send someone down to us, we'd show them the plans and the space, there'd be a discussion and then a quote would duly turn up.

One company was arranged to come at 15:00 on a Friday. it was a bit later than I'd have liked as the DC were small and would be just coming home from school, but fine.

At about 11:30 I received a call and the man said, "Just a courtesy call to confirm our meeting at 15:30". Which irritated me as clearly he wasn't making a "courtesy call" he wanted to change the time but didn't want to come right out and say it. But I said that was fine and I would be here at 15:30.

He eventually turned up at 16:30, without any sort of call in between to say he was running late. DH had arrived home with both DC by this stage, it was chaos, I was getting ready to make dinner etc so I told him to go away. He was LIVID and quite threatening. But my view was that if he couldn't turn up on time for a sales meeting, he clearly wasn't going to get my loft done either....

YANBU.

It's her first day, she should have arrived on time, just like any first day of a job. Ring if you're going to be late. I would definitely have accepted this, as a professional courtesy.

Like you, I would have also checked google maps. As other poster's have said something may have cropped up, then be honest and say why. Again, I would have accepted this.

Knowing that the roads were clear and knowing all the crap you've had previously from other cleaners, you start as you mean to go on. You know she's told lies, so that's it.

Finally agree, only one time to make a good impression.

( FYI ) I was 45 minutes late for a job interview ) I went to the wrong place. Local Authority - lots of council buildings! I rang whilst at the wrong building, apologised profusely and they interviewed me, when I arrived. I still got the job )

You can usually tell with body language, effort & sincerity if people are genuine.

This is why I've given up on cleaners, the mental energy involved in having one is so draining.

I’ve learnt from past experiences that people just get later and less reliable. I was easy going with my last cleaner and the excuses just got laughable. We used to go to a huge effort the night before to clean everything away, tidy up, make sure the cleaning products were stocked up and in order and hoover had charge and then she would call last minute to cancel and we’d have to do it all again a few days later.

We wouldn’t be at home so I need someone I can trust with my house keys and to be on their own in my house. It wasn’t a first clean it was a meeting to see if we liked her and go through the house with her. I’m still in a cooling off period with the agency and I’m not sure I even want to use them as I worry I’ll just have the same thing happen again.

I understand stuff happens, I’m honestly not a tyrant. I just expect communication so I’m not sat around like a lemon having put my plans on hold and not knowing if she was even going to turn up at all.

Starting to think I should set up my own service for busy mums with cleaners/housekeepers who just turn up and make your life easier rather than harder!

I probably wouldn't care if a cleaner turned up 20 minutes late, personally. But if it bothers you and has inconvenienced you, then YANBU. If the cleaner being late is likely to have a knock-on effect and make you late for things too, eg if you have to be there to let them in each time or whatever, then I can see why it would be a red flag for you.

As I say, I wouldn't mind - but if you've paid for a service and you feel they're not meeting the requirements of what you've paid for, you're obviously entitled to take a zero tolerance approach if you want to.

@AffIt you are not an employer unless she gets paid holidays sick leave and
you pay her tax ? Do you ?

Do you employ a plumber an electrican or a gas man ? No then you don’t employ your cleaner .
People look down on cleaners it drives me mad reading these post about employing .
Your cleaner has her own business supply’s a service and you ask her to supply that service , like you do the above trades people.

Good and bad in all trades and aspects of life .

Oh, for heaven's sake - no, as I stated, my cleaner is self-employed.

If it makes you feel better, please feel free to amend my wording in your head to 'I try to be a good contractor of services'.

I worked as a bloody cleaner myself, for god's sake - of course I don't look down on people.

@AffIt i never said you looked down I said people do I see it a lot on here .

My point is about employee and employer.
it’s actually important as it seem to be a power in balance. “Oh they work for me “ like they have staff .
No they ( the cleaner ) supply a service and yeah some pretty crap ones it seems bit not everyone the same .

Not a personal attack on you