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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm always getting mistaken for a shop worker

133 replies

temosmail · 03/08/2023 01:22

AIBU for always being annoyed for always been mistaken for a shop worker or do people not check?

I'm always been mistaken for a shop worker. The other day I went to the B&Q in a pair of flip flops, adidas stripped hoodie, jogging bottoms and had my sunglasses on my head. I was pushing a trolly and someone still thought I worked for B&Q.

Late at night in a not busy McDonald's I was wearing flip flops, long black jogging bottoms and a long grey top. I was sipping on my Oasis and I still got asked to help with the machine.

I'm always alone and minding my own business....

OP posts:
Gahhfeelsostupid · 03/08/2023 04:52

Haha this happens to me too! I think it’s because I wear a lot of black clothing, and have been told I have a ‘resting smiley face’.

electriclight · 03/08/2023 05:09

Well you're not wearing anything that looks like staff uniform so it says more about them than it does about you - just bad luck to have met so many confused, near-sighted people! Unless they're doing it on purpose I don't understand why it would annoy you though really, as it's just a misunderstanding.

WandaWonder · 03/08/2023 05:26

Yoyoban · 03/08/2023 02:23

Why do you think they think you work there, rather than that they're just asking you as a fellow customer/ human being?

Yeah I was thinking that, not had it for a while but a couple of times I was mistaken for a hop worker but more often a person needed help and they asked because I was there as another human being

Northernsouloldies · 03/08/2023 05:43

Exactly, it only takes a couple of minutes to help someone out if they can't find something.

FireflyJar · 03/08/2023 06:28

temosmail · 03/08/2023 01:22

AIBU for always being annoyed for always been mistaken for a shop worker or do people not check?

I'm always been mistaken for a shop worker. The other day I went to the B&Q in a pair of flip flops, adidas stripped hoodie, jogging bottoms and had my sunglasses on my head. I was pushing a trolly and someone still thought I worked for B&Q.

Late at night in a not busy McDonald's I was wearing flip flops, long black jogging bottoms and a long grey top. I was sipping on my Oasis and I still got asked to help with the machine.

I'm always alone and minding my own business....

It's the Flip Flops definitely 😄

TheCyclingGorilla · 03/08/2023 06:33

Once my job had the same shirt near identical to what Tesco employees wore, so if we went to the nearby Express to get lunch we were hassled a lot. That was 20+ years ago, though.

GoodChat · 03/08/2023 06:35

Maybe you just look friendly and approachable so people are asking you for help generally rather than assuming you work there?

FlamingYam · 03/08/2023 06:35

They might just be asking for help rather than assuming you work there. Especially if it's late at McDonald's with less staff.

I have this too when completing part of my job, with most people we laugh it off and it's quite nice. Some are rude as if I'm lying and it's a bit annoying 3/4 times on every store visit but one of those things.

MRex · 03/08/2023 06:39

I don't get identified as shop staff enough for it to annoy me, but can see it would get frustrating.

I did have a few people possibly think I worked at a child activity the other day.

  1. While blocking my young child from following me through a gate; they asked me how to get to an area A, so I directed them (two options B or C, B if they need tickets);
  2. Then they asked me the nearest way out (it's B, for tickets for A), so I told them that;
  3. Then they asked exactly how to get there, so I told them;
  4. Then they complained that wasn't convenient, they wanted to go via activity D, so I pointed vaguely and said "well D is over there, then you can cut through E". By this point DS is trying to pull and push the gate to get round them but they have a firm hold on it.
  5. Then they started up another question, so I said "look, I don't work here, you'll need to sort yourselves out, can I just get my son" and tried to get DS from behind them.
  6. They then pushed around blocking further so it was impossible to get him the correct side of the gate saying "well we just want to know how exactly to get from D to A". So I said "I have to go now", told DS to go to the next gate and walked round them myself.

"She's so rude!" I heard one of them say as they stropped off towards D. They still hadn't said thank you for any of the information.

Cheesusisgrate · 03/08/2023 06:42

I have this too!
Most memorable was when I was holding a cushion walking to DH in John Lewis 😂 I had maxi dress on fgs. They were like "Where is x" "I don't know." "how come?🤔" "Eer I don't work here ...." "well you look like you do🤨"

The problem is when you walk confidently somewhere and not looking lost.

meridian37 · 03/08/2023 06:56

Go along with it and direct them to a far off aisle then leg it

BitOutOfPractice · 03/08/2023 07:05

Yes I think you’re looking too friendly and alert. You need to work on a scowl. Maybe think about all the people on this thread who’ve said “it’s not really a big problem is it?”, no doubt with the requisite mn head tilt, and that should be sufficiently annoying to get your scowl going.

As an aside, where do you live where flip flops have been appropriate lately? I’d have got foot rot here in flip flops!

FlamingYam · 03/08/2023 07:08

Actually, this has just reminded me. Years ago in Superdrug I popped in before work to get makeup. I was wearing a black top and smart trousers carrying a small selection of makeup and a lady thought I worked there but I hadn't cottoned on.

She asked me where x was and I said "I don't know. Sorry" and she said "oh that's very rude" and something else with a face. I thought how strange. I paid for my stuff and as I was walking out heard her complain to the till lady about my rudeness. "That would be because she doesn't work here". 😂😂😂 and I wasn't even bloody rude.

WingingItEveryDay7 · 03/08/2023 07:25

Happens to me alot too. Even had a delivery guy ask me to sign for something which I was happy to do but he wasn't when I mentioned I didn't work there... People always look embarrassed when I say I don't work there 🤣 I find it funny!

Original poster
temosmail · 03/08/2023 09:40

CurlyhairedAssassin · 03/08/2023 01:42

How do you know they thought you worked there? What specific thing did they ask that made you think that?

They are asking for help. Guy at McDonald's was at the kiosk ordering food

OP posts:
Original poster
temosmail · 03/08/2023 09:40

ButteryNuts · 03/08/2023 02:18

I've asked customers questions stuff before just because I'm a bit lost and no worker to be found! If they're a regular they might know the answer.

Do you look particularly approachable? Do strangers tend to chat to you?

I would say I'm not helpful looking or friendly..... ever lol

OP posts:
Original poster
temosmail · 03/08/2023 09:42

Yoyoban · 03/08/2023 02:23

Why do you think they think you work there, rather than that they're just asking you as a fellow customer/ human being?

Good point but I think it's how I'm being approached....

Instead of saying "hi excuse me would you if helping me" and them looking lost, it's like they make a bee line for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
temosmail · 03/08/2023 09:43

MissTrip82 · 03/08/2023 02:35

Is it your face?

I have a friendly face, this happens to me all the time. People also tell me their life stories on public transport. It doesn’t annoy me, it’s nice.

My husband has severe RBF. Never happens to him.

I look like a hot mess all the time, avoid a eye contact/looking at people and generally depressed..... so I would say I'm not the best.

OP posts:
Original poster
temosmail · 03/08/2023 09:44

Netaporter · 03/08/2023 04:18

DH when he first moved to live with me (from a very different county) went into a supermarket after work. He was wearing a suit. Obviously looked like the store manager or something. He was perusing something on a shelf when he had this exchange with a little elderly lady (LEL) who approached him :

LEL to DH: “Excuse me”
DH (turns to face LEL) “Ooh sorry, I don’t work here”
LEL (looks at DH) “No, but you can fucking read, can’t you?”
DH (looks back shocked at the sweary LEL) “You are quite right, I can”
LEL (unembarrassed) “Good, what does this fucking label say, I can’t read a label with the print this fucking small”

We still laugh about it now. I don’t think it matters what you are wearing OP 😂

Oh god that happened at Weatherpoons to me. I was wearing office clothing, which isn't too smart, sunglasses in head, car keys in hand. I guess it's because I'm alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
temosmail · 03/08/2023 09:45

Northernsouloldies · 03/08/2023 05:43

Exactly, it only takes a couple of minutes to help someone out if they can't find something.

They can find it themselves or find a shop worker..... I don't work at the place and don't know where stuff is.

OP posts:
Original poster
temosmail · 03/08/2023 09:46

FlamingYam · 03/08/2023 06:35

They might just be asking for help rather than assuming you work there. Especially if it's late at McDonald's with less staff.

I have this too when completing part of my job, with most people we laugh it off and it's quite nice. Some are rude as if I'm lying and it's a bit annoying 3/4 times on every store visit but one of those things.

Wouldn't you go to the staffed counter which was three steps away?

If I'm desperate for help I would go to a staff area first, not other customers

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 03/08/2023 09:46

Rummikub · 03/08/2023 01:46

Me too. Happens all the time in the supermarket. I have directed people before to
items when asked!

Me too. I even had a lady tell me her doctor had advised her to give up gluten and asked me what were the best things to eat. All I could do was direct her to the Free From aisle.

Original poster
temosmail · 03/08/2023 09:47

BitOutOfPractice · 03/08/2023 07:05

Yes I think you’re looking too friendly and alert. You need to work on a scowl. Maybe think about all the people on this thread who’ve said “it’s not really a big problem is it?”, no doubt with the requisite mn head tilt, and that should be sufficiently annoying to get your scowl going.

As an aside, where do you live where flip flops have been appropriate lately? I’d have got foot rot here in flip flops!

I do bare foot as much as possible so don't wear shoes unless I have to.

OP posts:
Original poster
temosmail · 03/08/2023 09:48

WingingItEveryDay7 · 03/08/2023 07:25

Happens to me alot too. Even had a delivery guy ask me to sign for something which I was happy to do but he wasn't when I mentioned I didn't work there... People always look embarrassed when I say I don't work there 🤣 I find it funny!

lol

OP posts:
nonman · 03/08/2023 09:48

I’ve done this a few times, usually in places like hollisteror new look. It’s because I see someone who looks young and intelligent on their own and take a punt that they might work there. I suppose the real staff are in the stock room or on the tills.