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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move my daughter early?

73 replies

SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 18:25

DD will be 2 in a couple of months. She's very forward and clever, more like a 3 year old in terms of intelligence and her speech is fantastic for her age.
Due to the way her birthday falls she's been moved to the toddler room in nursery been there for a few months, her friends from that room have now moved up to the next room as they'll be a school year above her and that's how they work it.
I can move her up with them now or keep her where she is until next year but if she stays where she is she'll now be with children almost a year younger than her and nowhere near where she is in terms of development so my fear is she wont develop as much as she could be and she'll get bored. But if she moves up she'll be in that room for close to two years, meaning she may get bored. I'm just unsure on what to do and what's best for her!!!
Just wanted any opinions from people who may have been in the same situation or similar! X

OP posts:
Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 18:59

Bump

OP posts:
YourNameGoesHere · 02/08/2023 19:02

She's not even 2 yet and they've said they would happily move her to the preschool room have I got that right? I mean I'm sure she's very clever but that's bonkers, leave her on the toddler room she will develop just fine in there with children her own age.

GreenWheat · 02/08/2023 19:05

I would leave her, because otherwise all her friends will leave the year before her to go to school and she'll be left behind.

Whinge · 02/08/2023 19:05

Forget about moving rooms I would consider moving nursery. I'm shocked that she's not even 2 and she's been moved into the toddler room, and has been there for a few months. Have you checked the ratios and toys are appropriate for her actual age?

Mumof2teens79 · 02/08/2023 19:10

Leave her in that room with the kids who will start school at the same time as her.

My DD was 5 the week she started school and oldest in the class so we always had this (conversely other DD is youngest in her class)
I didn't really realise it at the time but she has always been quite mature as well and speech/independence was much higher. But there's not really much advantage in being really far ahead when they start school, she would just get bored there too.

It's better for her to be repeating stuff now than later. Any boredom would be worse if she was older.
If she is mature and inquisitive she will naturally develop in the younger room.

NuffSaidSam · 02/08/2023 19:10

What is the age range in the next room?

If it's 6 months ahead I'd move her, but of it's a year + I'd try and keep her where she is I think.

How old are the other children in her room?

It's maybe worth looking at a different nursery, maybe a pre-prep school? Some of those take from two and are more school like/academic.

CorBlimeyGovnr · 02/08/2023 19:10

Keep her where she is. I mean this kindly but she will average out at some point

Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 19:10

YourNameGoesHere · 02/08/2023 19:02

She's not even 2 yet and they've said they would happily move her to the preschool room have I got that right? I mean I'm sure she's very clever but that's bonkers, leave her on the toddler room she will develop just fine in there with children her own age.

No, not the preschool room it's the room before that so roughly 2-3 year olds!

OP posts:
Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 19:12

NuffSaidSam · 02/08/2023 19:10

What is the age range in the next room?

If it's 6 months ahead I'd move her, but of it's a year + I'd try and keep her where she is I think.

How old are the other children in her room?

It's maybe worth looking at a different nursery, maybe a pre-prep school? Some of those take from two and are more school like/academic.

They're 2-3 years in the next room, most are youngest of their school year so actually only a couple of months older than my DD, hence why I would want to move her as the children she would be with now are much younger in terms of development.

OP posts:
YourNameGoesHere · 02/08/2023 19:12

SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 19:10

No, not the preschool room it's the room before that so roughly 2-3 year olds!

Show quote history

Ok so she's 2 in a few months and the room has kids from 2-3 why the rush to move her early and why would she then be in this room for close to two years?

Sunshineclouds11 · 02/08/2023 19:12

Eh if the next room is 2-3 what room is she in now if she's already in the toddler room?

Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 19:13

Mumof2teens79 · 02/08/2023 19:10

Leave her in that room with the kids who will start school at the same time as her.

My DD was 5 the week she started school and oldest in the class so we always had this (conversely other DD is youngest in her class)
I didn't really realise it at the time but she has always been quite mature as well and speech/independence was much higher. But there's not really much advantage in being really far ahead when they start school, she would just get bored there too.

It's better for her to be repeating stuff now than later. Any boredom would be worse if she was older.
If she is mature and inquisitive she will naturally develop in the younger room.

Yes, I would hate for her to get bored. My main worry is that she'll get too bored and won't be stimulated in the room she's in as the children are so much younger than her, even though they'll be in the same school year. It's just a difficult one!

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 02/08/2023 19:13

SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 19:12

They're 2-3 years in the next room, most are youngest of their school year so actually only a couple of months older than my DD, hence why I would want to move her as the children she would be with now are much younger in terms of development.

Show quote history

Definitely move her then, we're only a couple of months difference!

ZebraKid71 · 02/08/2023 19:13

I'd leave her if she's only been in the toddler room a few months and has another 2 years to go.

ClinkyWotsit · 02/08/2023 19:23

No idea about the OP’s nursery but for those concerned about age ranges in rooms, our nursery has the baby room up to approx 15 months, the toddler room up 2 years, a 2-3 year room and pre-school for age 3+.

Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 19:24

ClinkyWotsit · 02/08/2023 19:23

No idea about the OP’s nursery but for those concerned about age ranges in rooms, our nursery has the baby room up to approx 15 months, the toddler room up 2 years, a 2-3 year room and pre-school for age 3+.

Yes, thats pretty much the same as her nursery. So I could move her to the 2-3 room if wanted but due to the way her birthday falls she would end up in the room for close to 2 years as she will actually start school a year after these children.

OP posts:
YourNameGoesHere · 02/08/2023 19:28

SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 19:24

Yes, thats pretty much the same as her nursery. So I could move her to the 2-3 room if wanted but due to the way her birthday falls she would end up in the room for close to 2 years as she will actually start school a year after these children.

Show quote history

I still don't get why she would be in the room for close to 2 years though even if you moved her now as she's only a few months off being 2?

Anyway I'd be leaving her where she is until she was at least 2 as it sounds like she would be having way too much change if she's been in the baby room, then moved and only in the toddler room for a few months and then moved again into the 2-3 room all in the space of a few months.

As I said I'm sure she's clever but it won't be anything out of the ordinary that the nursery haven't seen before and moving her so much seems very disruptive.

NuffSaidSam · 02/08/2023 19:31

SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 19:24

Yes, thats pretty much the same as her nursery. So I could move her to the 2-3 room if wanted but due to the way her birthday falls she would end up in the room for close to 2 years as she will actually start school a year after these children.

Show quote history

Is there not a 3-4 room? Can she not move there in 14/15 months when she turns three?

Or is this room actually 2-4?

Whinge · 02/08/2023 19:33

Have you checked the ratios and toys are appropriate for her actual age? If the children moving up are 2 then the ratios are different to those for children under 2. If she moves up a few months before turning 2 then is the nursery actually going to stick to the lower child to staff ratio?

Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 19:49

Whinge · 02/08/2023 19:33

Have you checked the ratios and toys are appropriate for her actual age? If the children moving up are 2 then the ratios are different to those for children under 2. If she moves up a few months before turning 2 then is the nursery actually going to stick to the lower child to staff ratio?

No concerns there, I'm always in the room when I pick her up and it's brilliant for that age group! No concerns on ratios either as the children are all well cared for x

OP posts:
Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 19:51

@NuffSaidSam not sure on when I could move her, I potentially could move her up then. She would be in either room for a longer time though as she will start school a year after the children in that group if that makes sense x

OP posts:
Whinge · 02/08/2023 19:51

@SinkingSwim Sorry if I wasn't clear, I meant if you move her up to the next room.

Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 19:53

Whinge · 02/08/2023 19:51

@SinkingSwim Sorry if I wasn't clear, I meant if you move her up to the next room.

Ahhh, yes I have seen the room for myself when I visited and it seems appropriate for the age, the manager is really good at what she does and makes sure they regularly get things related to their current interests too. With regards to ratios they're also really strict on it x

OP posts:
Greenfree · 02/08/2023 19:58

I would keep her in the room that would have her future school friends in as I think this would be better for social development.

NuffSaidSam · 02/08/2023 20:14

I don't think people appreciate how much difference there can be between children in the same school year at this age. There is a massive difference between a just turned one year old and a nearly two old (particularly a bright, verbal one). They're not going to enjoy playing together yet, even if they will be in the same school year in the future.

Keep her with her friends and age-mates regardless of school year.