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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move my daughter early?

73 replies

SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 18:25

DD will be 2 in a couple of months. She's very forward and clever, more like a 3 year old in terms of intelligence and her speech is fantastic for her age.
Due to the way her birthday falls she's been moved to the toddler room in nursery been there for a few months, her friends from that room have now moved up to the next room as they'll be a school year above her and that's how they work it.
I can move her up with them now or keep her where she is until next year but if she stays where she is she'll now be with children almost a year younger than her and nowhere near where she is in terms of development so my fear is she wont develop as much as she could be and she'll get bored. But if she moves up she'll be in that room for close to two years, meaning she may get bored. I'm just unsure on what to do and what's best for her!!!
Just wanted any opinions from people who may have been in the same situation or similar! X

OP posts:
Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 20:19

NuffSaidSam · 02/08/2023 20:14

I don't think people appreciate how much difference there can be between children in the same school year at this age. There is a massive difference between a just turned one year old and a nearly two old (particularly a bright, verbal one). They're not going to enjoy playing together yet, even if they will be in the same school year in the future.

Keep her with her friends and age-mates regardless of school year.

Yes, that's why I'm concerned as the ones she will be with now are very baby-like, aren't talking at all yet. So it worries me as my daughter would get very little stimulation or play from them, at least for quite a while!

OP posts:
ClinkyWotsit · 02/08/2023 20:21

I’m also a bit confused - so if you moved her up now, a couple of months short of her birthday (assume that means she’s a Sept or Oct birthday and so will start school in 2026???), she’ll be in the “2-3” room actually between to ages of “nearly 2 til nearly 4” then pre-school room from 4 til she goes to school just short of 5?

Our nursery sticks to age range so that the children are in pre-school for up to 2 years, depending on when they start school. So DD is summer born, just turned 3 so will be in pre-school for just over a year. Her best friend is a September baby so will join her in a months time but will be in pre-school for nearly 2 years by the time she starts school.

UpUpUpU · 02/08/2023 20:24

I'd leave her in her age appropriate group. Otherwise she will be left behind when the group above go to school. Is she in nursery full time?

MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 02/08/2023 20:27

What happens when the children are 3 and getting ready for school??
I don't think the age range of 2-4 is a good mix.
My daughter sounds like yours at that age. She was a good talker and could have conversations with her.
My daughter didn't go to nursery until she was 3 and started school nursery. I wouldn't be happy with her being in a room with 2 year olds.

YourNameGoesHere · 02/08/2023 20:28

SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 20:19

Yes, that's why I'm concerned as the ones she will be with now are very baby-like, aren't talking at all yet. So it worries me as my daughter would get very little stimulation or play from them, at least for quite a while!

Show quote history

Why not just hold off and wait until she's 2 and move her then? Or are you saying if you don't move her in September then she won't be able to move again until next September at nearly 3?

Whilst yes some of the children in her room will seem very baby like (mostly because they are barely past the baby stage) she won't be the only child her age in that room so will have some peers to play alongside.

Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 20:33

@YourNameGoesHere she's 2 in september anyway, so not much longer to wait.
There's not a lot of children left in the current room as they've all moved up now so she will just be left with the much younger ones that's why I'm worried she won't get much stimulation or play when she's there.

OP posts:
Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 20:35

MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 02/08/2023 20:27

What happens when the children are 3 and getting ready for school??
I don't think the age range of 2-4 is a good mix.
My daughter sounds like yours at that age. She was a good talker and could have conversations with her.
My daughter didn't go to nursery until she was 3 and started school nursery. I wouldn't be happy with her being in a room with 2 year olds.

it's not 2-4, it's the room before pre-school so 2-3 year olds, most only a few months older than DD x

OP posts:
YourNameGoesHere · 02/08/2023 20:35

SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 20:33

@YourNameGoesHere she's 2 in september anyway, so not much longer to wait.
There's not a lot of children left in the current room as they've all moved up now so she will just be left with the much younger ones that's why I'm worried she won't get much stimulation or play when she's there.

Ok now I really don't see the problem? She's 2 in less than 4 weeks so why would it be considered an early move if she's going into the 2-3 room?? Surely that's just her moving into the next room at the right age?

Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 20:38

ClinkyWotsit · 02/08/2023 20:21

I’m also a bit confused - so if you moved her up now, a couple of months short of her birthday (assume that means she’s a Sept or Oct birthday and so will start school in 2026???), she’ll be in the “2-3” room actually between to ages of “nearly 2 til nearly 4” then pre-school room from 4 til she goes to school just short of 5?

Our nursery sticks to age range so that the children are in pre-school for up to 2 years, depending on when they start school. So DD is summer born, just turned 3 so will be in pre-school for just over a year. Her best friend is a September baby so will join her in a months time but will be in pre-school for nearly 2 years by the time she starts school.

Yes she'll start 2026 at almost 5 as she's a September baby - sorry I'm not great at explaining things haha.
She'll be in the 2-3 years room for an extra year as the group she would be with will go to school 2025. It's just hard as I know she would be better with children more at her development and play level, but she'll be left behind at some point... but then the younger ones will move up with her and be more developed by then I suppose, they change a lot in a year.

OP posts:
Original poster
SinkingSwim · 02/08/2023 20:39

@YourNameGoesHere my problem is the nursery goes by school years for classrooms... so the ones she would be with if I move her will go to school a year earlier than her x

OP posts:
YoBeaches · 02/08/2023 20:42

I'd keep her in the group that matches her peer group for school.

The younger kids won't be that far behind her in time. There is always a youngest and oldest in the group, but she is now at an age where she will make friends, and it will be beneficial that she has opportunity to take some of these friendship groups into school.

It's also beneficial for her to be an older one, to develop empathy and caring for the younger ones.

Greentree1 · 02/08/2023 20:44

If she needs to be with slightly older, more developed children move her up, why not if she is at their level.

lanthanum · 02/08/2023 20:45

It sounds as if there's a bit of a gap age-wise, and she fits better (at the moment) with the ones older than her than the ones younger than her. Be guided by the nursery on this one, but I'd be inclined towards being with the ones she fits with at the moment. By the time they move off to the pre-school year, presumably the ones a bit younger than her will have moved up and will also have largely caught her up on things like speech.

nobodygoesdowninthejungle · 02/08/2023 20:45

This can often be a challenge in nurseries as some children are only 48 months when they start school and others are almost 60 months.
Are there any other DC who are within weeks of your DD? My DD is an early autumn birthday and so we had this issue but she was lucky to be in a group of half a dozen whose birthdays were within a few weeks of hers (and her school year) and they kept that little group together. Sometimes they were by far the youngest, sometimes they were the oldest. It also meant that, when those who were in the school year above them (but one of whom was only 25 days older than DD and, having been born 8 weeks prem, if age adjusted was younger than DD) went to school, DD and her gang remained together.

Nicknamesforviolet · 02/08/2023 21:53

I've had the same with my daughter. Leave her where she is - more children will join who are around her age and she will get plenty of stimulation and learning from her nursery workers (provided you have no concerns about them - she should be having support appropriate for her needs anyway, regardless of the room she is in). You would be surprised how well they cope with the older children moving on and new ones joining. My Dd is starting school this year with her age group and has managed fine in similar circumstances x

LIZS · 02/08/2023 21:54

Do they nit have to maintain a higher ratio for under 2s ? What happens when the same issue arises next year? Her friends will leave for school before her. It will be more noticeable to repeat as she gets older, while it is freeplay now.

greenteaandmarshmallows · 02/08/2023 22:01

Mine "moved up" early but they switched them between rooms depending on the activities- there were a group of them they did this with though.

OddOne2023 · 03/08/2023 06:40

This is a question about all of 4 weeks !?!

Bramblecrumble22 · 03/08/2023 06:53

Is it the case of a big move up in September then trickling upwards the rest of the year as new kids start? I'd send her up, especially if nursery recommends it. Younger children will join as they turn two/are developmentally ready. She'll be longer at the end of nursery as she's September born either way. But school is way off so do what is best for her now.

Hangingtrousers · 03/08/2023 06:57

My lo is a sept baby and they move up based on space at his nursery. So he's always been moved up with the year group above. Now all the school leavers are going to reception and if he wasn't leaving too ( going to a school attaced nursery) he would be left friendless in his room. He would also have had to stay in pre school room 2 years.
I say keep her with her school year. She will definitely still develop just fine.

LolaSmiles · 03/08/2023 07:01

Mine "moved up" early but they switched them between rooms depending on the activities- there were a group of them they did this with though.
Same here. They also went back to their old room when it was quiet and had time with their friends in their old room

Our nursery had rough ages for the rooms, moved children when they were developmentally ready with some consideration for friends, and once in a room they worked with each child as an individual.

I think the OP is worrying too much about her DC being ahead/bored when good nursery staff meet the children's needs where they're at.

sallywinter · 03/08/2023 07:23

My daughter’s nursery move them up at their birthday, so our situation is a bit different as she’ll be going up to the 3-4 room when she turns 3 on the dot.

However she is also old for her year so would be spending two years in that room. I am going to move her to her future school’s pre school in Sept 2024, so she can have a year there before going to Reception.

Would your nursery consider being flexible and moving her for activities as needed? Then she could move at 4 so she doesn’t do 2 years in the same room and can leave at the same time as her friends and make some in the same cohort as her at a preschool?

Blondeshavemorefun · 03/08/2023 07:31

So she is 2 next month - why wouldn't you move her to 2/4

Tho there is a huge diff between a 23mth old and 4yr so seems a big age group to mix

Luhou · 03/08/2023 08:08

If they're willing to let her move up to the 2-3 room early, would they not be happy to move her up to pre-school early? My DD has move up to each room early she's 2 years 9months and has just moved up to the pre-school room. She is October Birthday so will be in that room 2 years plus, I feel that room meets her capabilities best and her confidenece has come on loads since she moved up.

My theory was she'll have at least a full year with the children she'll be in the school year with. Our nursery also borders a lot of villages so imagine they'll be a real mix of schools anyway.

MightWriteNight · 03/08/2023 08:14

My DS moved up to the 2-3 room when he was 22 months as his friend who is a couple months older did and the staff thought it best to keep them together. No issues, although DS was a bit wary of some of the bigger kids till the moved up as well. Go for it OP.