I’m a single parent to 1 DC who has SN.
DC doesn’t cope well with different people picking them up every night. They don’t complain but I’ve found we have a lot more meltdowns in weeks where there’s even 1 night where it’s not me picking up.
ExH doesn’t have contact in the week, so it’s up to me.
I finish work at 3.30pm so I use after school club 3 nights a week even though DC only ends up being there for at most half an hour. DC loves it and is always pleased to see me. I regularly offer for my parents to pick them up and all I get is “No I want you mum”.
1 night a week I finish in time to pick up at normal time and even then, DC is happy, doesn’t moan about missing ASC but says they want me to pick them up.
The other night they have intervention as per their EHCP and I pick up at 4.15 from school.
My parents are constantly moaning at me though, they tell me I’m financially crippling myself for an hour a week and DC will just have to suck up not having me pick up every night.
I work term time only so they say it’s even more important because I pick up from holiday club when they go 2x a week in summer. They say their friends pick up their grandchildren all the time, and the DC cope and it’s just rubbish to use DCs SN as an excuse to not involve family. They tell me I’m too independent and it’s not a good trait to have.
DC prefers me, has meltdowns if it’s anyone but me, but if it’s me is fine, no meltdowns. They like ASC and holiday club so we have no major issues there, it’s just that they don’t want anyone but me to pick up.
For added context DC is the only grandchild on my side.
AIBU to not save myself what equates to £45 a week in term time for the sake of half an hour with a family member? Or am I using that and their SN as an excuse and they could just suck it up and get used to it?