to still book our DS (16) as a 15 year old at a Premier Inn?

[VioletOrange]

I’m probably going to get a flaming for this but here goes.

We only have DS, he can’t stay in a PI by himself until he’s 18. If we booked him in as an adult, as he’s classed as one now he’s 16, we’d have to pay for another room. So for now, while we can still just about get away with it, we book him in as a child stating he’s 15.

In one PI where we’ve stayed many times over the years, a couple of the regular staff are aware but they’re ok with this. He doesn’t get up for breakfast so doesn’t benefit from the ‘kids eat free’ deal.

AIBU to carry on doing this for as long as we can get away with it? Not that he’ll likely still want to come away with us in the next few years.

My personal opinion is that on the one hand they class 18+ as adults but want to charge a 16 year old adult prices.

If you're going to lie about your kids' ages, just make sure it's you doing it and that you're not asking them to lie for you. My father used to do it and it's my nature to be stupidly honest. It makes me physically uncomfortable to lie and I still remember how awful the whole thing made me feel. Eventually I realised I didn't have to lie for him so, if I was asked directly, I told them my real age. There are times as an adult he's asked me to lie for him and I've always refused. Maybe you're kids aren't as weird as me but think about how you might be affecting them if you make them lie for you. I've never once done it.

Do they all know you are lying and taking advantage of a system to help families with younger children?

Posted too early. That was quoting the 14th post in, not my opinion!

No it’s not, it’s about not letting the big cats fuck you over.

it’s really that simple.

I do not for one second believe, you’ve never done anything dishonest for personal gain.

Thank God the premier inn has you for defense! Won't somebody please think of the croissants!

Done it several times, last time he was 18! The staff don't bat an eyelid and probably wouldn't care if they noticed. DS does look quite young though. Felt it was pushing it last time so probably won't do again but at 16 it was a no brainer.

If my boys are grown enough to undermine me like that, they'd be grown enough to pay for themselves.

All the more bonus for me then. Can't afford it = don't have to go. The holiday choices my parents made at that age were boring as. But I wasn't allowed to stay home alone at 16/17, so they'd have been stuck. No-one they could have sent me to stay with.

At 16/17 I respected my kids' developing sense of values. I'm not a liar and wasn't one back then either. I also feel better that I have never put my kids in the position that my parents put me in.

They don't have this system in place out of the goodness of their hearts to help families with younger children. After all, why assume that families with older children don't need help? They are doing it purely for marketing purposes.

How would he know 🤷🏼‍♀️. No one asks the age when you get in to a premier inn! Also find it odd these demanding 16 year olds who refuse to share a room for a night. Maybe we're lucky our children like us 🤣.

We only stay in one the night before visiting somewhere. Love all these self righteous people! Once DD gets to 18 then it's different. These days the only thing you can do at 16 is have sex, you can't even buy a lottery ticket so why should a family not be allowed a room.

@Moonmummo 3 adults can share a room at premier inn. It's two adults and two teens people are discussing!

The website won't let you book 3 adults into 1 room.

It's weird, because they did this time last year - I did it to move DD into her uni accommodation. Just tried to book for this year and it won't let us 😡

They’ve never allowed it that’s the issue. All the other similar chains allow 3 adults in a room but PI only allow 2.

No, we are discussing 2 adults and 1 teen.

You have never been able to book 3 adults in a premier inn room (I've been booking rooms for over 10 years.)

They've never allowed it online for most PI hotels. They will often do it if you call them. We called once and the person answering just said to put 1 adult as a child online in order to book 🤷‍♀️
Some other chain hotels do allow it online without the fuss.

I would be more bothered about the insurance implications than anything else.

Wow!
Each to their own, but in my opinion to view your child wanting to tell the truth as undermining you and something that should effectively be punished is not the best life lesson I could provide.

Although boringly honest to most people on this thread, I also agree with @WannaBeRecluse’s approach and would never make my kids lie for my own gain.

I would expect my teenagers to have the critical thinking skills to not just follow the arbitrary rules of a money grabbing billionaire CEO. If they wish to follow PI rules, instead of mine, the consequences will be theirs to deal with.

I agree with you. I hate being lied to, I struggle to lie about anything myself (even if I wanted to), and would be happy that my child also didn't want to lie!
Again, each to their own, but if I am happy to let those who bend the truth a little 'live and let live' then they need to stop being so critical of those who choose not to bend the truth.
(Awaits the long list of examples where someone proves to me how I have lied in such and such situation - been there, done that, but crack on if it makes you feel more justified/better/happier/insert as appropriate).

I honestly wouldn’t even think twice about it. We regularly book a room for 2 adults and a child so we get a double bed and the sofa bed, when in fact it’s 3 adults staying in there. No one bats an eyelid. It’s a premier inn.

I prefer my teenagers at 16 to have enough critical thinking skills that they can have different values for me and not practice blind obedience. It's not critical thinking to just do what you're told.

Teaching critical skills to children is not lie and follow your rules or else face the consequences

Like do as I say and lie or else you’ll have pay what you are meant to? Not sure that is a bad consequence.

When else do you encourage them not to follow billionaire CEO rules? ‘Critically thinking’ whilst walking around the shopping centre?
Im glad my kids don’t see those pesky ‘arbitrary rules’ as an excuse to lie and steal.

But like I said, you crack on bringing up your kids how you want. I’ll teach mine to be honest in life and that they can think critically and go elsewhere if they don’t like the company’s policy.

I feel like there is an interesting philosophical question lurking beneath the OP’s question, which has faded into the background as people argue ‘this is the same as this’ ‘no it isn’t’. I think the field is called ‘ethics’. One of the problems of ethics is called ‘The is/ought problem’. Logic alone can’t carry you from any ‘is’ statement to any ‘ought’ statement. So you have to start from agreed ground rules. One rule that has been relied on here is ‘never tell a lie’. Most people would acknowledge there may be exceptions to this. If a hitman asks you ‘is your husband in?’ you are not morally obliged to say ‘he’s just popped upstairs for a wee’. If your wife says ‘Do I look alright?’ you don’t have to say ‘you’d probably look better without that angry pimple on your nose’. So telling a lie is not of itself always wrong. Clicking ‘15’ as a child’s age when they are 16 feels worse because it is a deception aimed at securing a financial benefit. One ground rule here that people might rely on is ‘don’t break the law’. It is against the law to obtain services by deception. Again, this is not an absolute rule. It was against the law to hide Anne Frank. It was against the law for a person with mental health issues to come out of their tiny London flat and sit in the middle of an empty field during COVID unless they were doing buttock clenches, because otherwise they were not doing exercise. This seems worse because there is at least the possibility that Premier Inn will somehow lose money as a result of a lie on their online booking system. An employee of Premier Inn has posted on this thread that they do not care if children are over 15. Other posters have stated they have been encouraged to bypass/ignore the rule by Premier Inn employees. There is no indication from the booking in process, checks or the complete absence of any enforcement that the management of Premier Inn or even their beloved shareholders care. When I used the word ‘technically’ I used it in this sense - a rule whose maker has no apparent interest in securing compliance. This is not the same as shoplifting - all shops are desperate to stop shoplifting, it’s just very hard for them to control. Premier Inn could fairly easily tighten up on children in rooms if they actually cared about it.
I think it unhelpful to suggest that every breach of the law is the same as every other breach of the law. Stealing property and money from churches, hotels and shops involves appropriation of goods, which is not the same as avoiding incurring an additional fee for a sleeping child.
I think this question boils down to a value judgement for each parent. Is it more important to follow the rules and the law, even if never enforced, because generally speaking that makes for a better working society, or is it more important to save money for your family?
I don’t think the mention of shoplifting is a complete red herring in this debate, though. In the current food crisis there are more Jean ValJeans in need of bread than ever, and no doubt they are each faced with choices about what to do, so perhaps we should be slower to judge Each person until we know the circumstances.

@Zoda8 ,

That is a really interesting post.

Interested in what you think about (relatively mild) motorway speeding. This gains a time benefit for the speeder and is, to me, a victimless crime, as there is little evidence that someone driving at 85MPH in a high spec modern car in good visibility is any more likely to cause an accident than someone travelling at 70MPH.

But MN is very judgmental about speeding.