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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sick of this woman now.

52 replies

Fusspot1959 · 02/08/2023 08:16

Probably very trivial, but it’s been going on so long it has become very tiresome and part of my everyday life. I know there are far worse things but I’m at a loss how to shake her off!

There is a woman who for the last 3 yrs has been acting so ridiculous, when she see me or our family she makes a point of slowing (driving) to stare and either grin in a crazy manner or laugh. This happens whilst she performing work duties and she has clients, yesterday even the client laughed!
In the past it was foul names when passing, all very discreetly I suspect because of her job. At one point she was photographing us. It’s tame but infuriating.

Ive tried the ignoring, smiling back etc but it’s like she feeds from it. Can I complain to her work? Do I try to keep ignoring. My heart now goes like the clappers when I see her!

PS she’s like this as her father is in the same street as us and decided he didn’t like us shortly after we moved in. As far as I’m aware no other reason.

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 02/08/2023 08:23

It's very weird behaviour but what is the backstory? Has her father targeted you?

tulippa · 02/08/2023 08:24

I'm trying to work out what job she does. How often does this happen? Your choices are ignore, confront, report to non-emergency police for harassment (they probably won't care), contact a solicitor for advice. I can see how this would get you down.

Work2live · 02/08/2023 08:26

when she see me or our family she makes a point of slowing (driving) to stare and either grin in a crazy manner or laugh. This happens whilst she performing work duties and she has clients, yesterday even the client laughed!

I’d get your phone out and record her. She’ll either stop doing it or if not, you can report to her employer and/or the police.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 02/08/2023 08:29

It's harrassment isn't it? It's designed to intimidate you. Second the suggestion of filming.

Jammydodger1981 · 02/08/2023 08:31

tulippa · 02/08/2023 08:24

I'm trying to work out what job she does. How often does this happen? Your choices are ignore, confront, report to non-emergency police for harassment (they probably won't care), contact a solicitor for advice. I can see how this would get you down.

Driving instructor?

Dombasle · 02/08/2023 08:35

Smile back, laugh and blow her a kiss.

Turtlegurl888 · 02/08/2023 08:37

Sounds creepy as fuck. I'd record her if you can and report to her company. You can't go around harassing people on the job.

Sounds like there's something wrong with her. There's some weird people about.

DrSbaitso · 02/08/2023 08:39

That's beyond bloody weird. Why doesn't her father like you? Whatever the reason, it obviously won't excuse her insanity, but it might inform how best to deal with it.

Definitely record her so you have proof.

Valhalla17 · 02/08/2023 08:40

Report her to the police for harassment. That will stop her from acting the idiot I'm sure.

rainbowstardrops · 02/08/2023 08:49

Oh I wouldn't like that at all! What job is she doing to be able to harass you while she's working? And why doesn't her dad like you?

VictoriaVenkman · 02/08/2023 08:52

I'd report her

Original poster
Fusspot1959 · 02/08/2023 08:54

I like the idea of recording her, that May put the frightners on her? Could I then also get in trouble though?

She is an escort driver to a mix of people including vulnerable, when I looked up the company she works for they do state behaviours they expect of theirs drivers under the fit & proper person.

The dad didn’t like changes we made to our home and liked to voice to the neighbourhood, he’s a bit of a mouth piece.

OP posts:
DisquietintheRanks · 02/08/2023 08:58

Pity you didnt report her whilst she was mouthing obscenities. Suggestyou record her a few times then report her to her employer.

KrisAkabusi · 02/08/2023 08:59

I like the idea of recording her, that May put the frightners on her? Could I then also get in trouble though?

Not if what she's doing is in public. You have no right to privacy in a public place.

Draconis · 02/08/2023 08:59

Either laugh back at her and give her a thumbs up or get your phone out and record her or phone someone while laughing and looking at her.
Be ready for a confrontation if you do record her though. You can let her know you're gathering evidence for the police.

dooneyousmugelf · 02/08/2023 09:05

Hmm I would go with the recording her angle, but she sounds the type to up the ante and resort to violence, being the nutter she clearly is.
Could you try completely blanking her? Pretending you haven't seen her. After a few times of no reaction at all, surely she's going to start feeling really stupid and just give up?

CoraPirbright · 02/08/2023 09:05

I would record her over the space of a few weeks so that you can clearly show a pattern of behaviour. It might annoy her even more and provoke the obscenities again. Horrible for you, obviously, but really good to have on record! Then report her to her job and the police. Fight fire with fire!

Whatswhatwhichiswhich · 02/08/2023 09:05

I would report her to her work, I would also do as PP said and start recording her too. Bullies deserve their comeuppance.

User452023 · 02/08/2023 09:10

She's obviously trying to intimidate you and see if she can get a reaction. She sounds really creepy.

I love the thumbs up suggestion. That sounds great.Lol.

It will definitely make her feel she's having no effect on you whatsoever (even though in reality it is) and maybe it will make her stop.

Denimdreams · 02/08/2023 09:10

Just stop looking at her when she drives past, completely blank her.
When my DC was little there was an incredibly strange woman who would tell me she hated my car or tell her DC she hated my car as she walked pastConfused
I just put headphones in when gardening.
Did the trick.
If she carries on, report her

Denimdreams · 02/08/2023 09:11

User452023 · 02/08/2023 09:10

She's obviously trying to intimidate you and see if she can get a reaction. She sounds really creepy.

I love the thumbs up suggestion. That sounds great.Lol.

It will definitely make her feel she's having no effect on you whatsoever (even though in reality it is) and maybe it will make her stop.

Don't give her any reaction, this is what she wants and then it escalates

Bb234 · 02/08/2023 09:14

@Fusspot1959 I would record her doing this find her companies social media page and post her behaviour on there tagging her in the post.
Then I would post that video on name and shame pages online detailing your harassment to the public so she gets no further work if she’s an escort driver.
If this has been going on for months that should stop her dead in her tracks

Duchessofspace · 02/08/2023 09:17

Film her at least twice - no reaction from you - just film her. Make sure you have at least two of them so it can be shown to be a pattern and not a one off.

maddening · 02/08/2023 09:23

Definitely agree to filming and taking it further.

Twyford · 02/08/2023 09:23

Film her and send the recording to her employers. Not only is she breaching their code of conduct, she's not concentrating on the road or the people she is supposed to be looking after.