Sick of this woman now.

[Fusspot1959]

Probably very trivial, but it’s been going on so long it has become very tiresome and part of my everyday life. I know there are far worse things but I’m at a loss how to shake her off!

There is a woman who for the last 3 yrs has been acting so ridiculous, when she see me or our family she makes a point of slowing (driving) to stare and either grin in a crazy manner or laugh. This happens whilst she performing work duties and she has clients, yesterday even the client laughed!
In the past it was foul names when passing, all very discreetly I suspect because of her job. At one point she was photographing us. It’s tame but infuriating.

Ive tried the ignoring, smiling back etc but it’s like she feeds from it. Can I complain to her work? Do I try to keep ignoring. My heart now goes like the clappers when I see her!

PS she’s like this as her father is in the same street as us and decided he didn’t like us shortly after we moved in. As far as I’m aware no other reason.

I have a neighbour like this. I had an issue with him months ago which he doesn't seem to want to let go, he is elderly loves to play on that whilst staring me out or smirking when he sees me.

Definitely film her otherwise it’s her word against yours. I’m not sure ignoring her will work when she seems to have such a vendetta, she’d probably just beep her horn to get you to look and react.

Use a body cam to film her. She sounds a nightmare. I had this with my Husbands ex wife. She soon stopped when I told her I was reporting her to her work, she was a carer.

Record her for evidence of her behaviour and do it over a number of weeks to prove her behaviour is a pattern. Report to police for harassment and then report to her company and make them aware that you’ve also reported her to the police.

Im sure that they’d love to know how their employees are behaving like that and that’s how they represent their company.

She sounds creepy.

Record her and send the recordingds to her employer.

Someone like her should not be excorting vulnerable people.

I reported her back then, I was told at the time there was no crime in being nasty.

She used to drive by my house, slow down and stick the Vs up, crazy behaviour, this was in her personal car.

I think I’ll log a call again, I used to log it all through police as I was so worried about one of us losing our temper, at least there would be a background.

Thank you all for reply’s, I am going to try and gather a few bits of evidence then look to report. I’ve been far too soft and they’ve latched on.

I feel weak, embarrassed, humiliated and angry that ive allowed this.

Ive done the ignoring bit and it doesn’t work, it’s like she won’t let go, it’s a vendetta she has and it’s become very tiresome.

I totally understand your concern OP, it’s such a horrible thing to go through.

Are you normally alone when you see her? If possible I’d try to make sure there’s someone with you if you decide to film her, or if possible could you get CCTV or a Ring doorbell installed to capture her behaviour?

Perhaps the father is actually more to blame for this awful situation. I expect he's framed you in such a terrible light to this woman so she feels her actions are justified. I'd bet anything he's told her a bunch of appalling stuff about you. Maybe if you can get chatting to her somehow you can show her whatever he's portrayed you to be is not true.

Totally ignore her and don't even look at her.

Don't give yourself the stress or hassle of reporting her or recording her to anyone.

She'll go away.

Report her to who? No one cares except you. I guarantee you'll report her and nothing will come of it. It will probably just escalate the situation.

This. And I would also report it to her employer.

If you report it to the police make sure you report it as harassment. Not that she’s staring at you. They need to understand the severity. She sounds a complete doughnut

@Aubree17 did you miss the part where the OP said this woman has been doing this for 3 years.

I wowouldn'want her ferrying around any vulnerable relative of Mine!! Video her a few times then post on the local Facebook page

Film her a few times to show a pattern then send to her employer

If you record her I think she will simply say that she stared at you because you were filming her. It may also escalate things.
IMO I'd take the high ground and simply ignore her, don't stoop to her level, take comfort in the fact you are the better person.

I'd approach her employer to enquire if they are aware of her unprofessional behaviour whilst she is on duty?
Stick to facts, explain her intimidating behaviour is causing alarm for both your and their clients when she is accompanying them. Do they have professional standards that they expect employees to adhere to when in the company of clients?

How would you feel about marching right up to her and telling her to stop? Saying something like "Hey, I don't know what your problem is, but you're making me really uncomfortable. It needs to stop now or I will be informing your employer about your behaviour".

That takes confidence but you do need to not let her take control of this situation which you're brooding about and then allowing her to make you feel bad. The very act of challenging her and letting her know that you're not going to keep taking it might very well make her stop.

I'd kill her with kindness. Every time you see her and she slows down, wave super cheerily while calling out, "Hi ya, how are you!?" "Good to see you." "Thanks for slowing down I've been wanting to ask how your piles are?!"

etc etc.

Although discreetly recording isn't a bad idea either in case she escalates.

She is harassing you.

Harassment is a crime.

Keep lodging police complaints. The police have very bad knowledge of what is and isn’t illegal, and may fob you off, but be clear to them that while each individual incident might be legal if it was a sole incident, together they amount to harassment which is a crime. Ask for a crime incident number.

If it continues I’d be very tempted to report to her employer saying you are being harassed by one of their employees, sometimes while she is working, that given her behaviour you are concerned for vulnerable people she is in contact with, and that the crime number is X should they wish to discuss it with the police.

The client with her who laughed was probably nervous, lots of people laugh when nervous.

I actually did once have a driving instructor whom I realised after a few lessons was a total misanthrope with a grudge against everyone.

The first time we drove through her village and I was worried about pedestrians on the pavementless road, she said 'Oh, you can knock him down!' as we passed some man. I put it down to her trying to be funny. Then when we drove through her village again during the next lesson, she said 'Oh, you can knock HER down!' about someone different. It quickly became clear she was a loon who seemed to have a vendetta against the world, and I noticed that if I got into her car for a lesson in a visibly good mood, she would bristle with annoyance.

Obviously I stopped learning with her. But it wouldn't surprise me at all if she'd escalated her behaviour.

I presume the employer has some kind of contract with the Council or the NHS, and this woman requires a DBS for driving vulnerable people around?

This kind of behaviour will be breaching those contracts. My local authority is very hot on hauling in taxi drivers for hearings if they get reported for poor behaviour or poor driving. It would similarly expect an employer with a contract to drive residents to manage its drivers effectively.

Report to police to get a paper trail going. This is harassment and she might escalate if you respond in any of the ways suggested. It's also bad enough in its own right. This would seriously damage my quality of life.