Telling someone on holiday that they're sunburnt

[Wahwahwahwahwah]

We're on Crete at the moment and it's HOT. I've seen a lot of very burnt people. Today we were by the pool and a very fair / blond haired girl aged probably about 15 or 16 was asleep on a sunbed on full sun. Her back was already very red. Her family were nearby (which is my excuse) but basically I'm British so decided to mind my own business but should I have woken her? Do you think it's the decent thing to do? Or would it piss you off if someone did that?

I do that. So do one of my kids. In the sun we look red, come inside it's gone in about 15 mins. We just have very sensitive, fine skin with blood vessels near the surface. We also blush easily. It does get a bit annoying to be told you are burning, when you are not, but I would never be rude. People do get huffy though even when you say thanks, but I'm fine!

No, I wouldn't rather burn but it can get quite tedious for strangers to keep telling you this even though you slap factor 50 on several times a day and your pale ghost skin goes red no matter what. The girl is described as 'very fair / blond haired' so more than likely its the same for her.

Did he bring her back to the UK?

Mind your own business. The parents might take offence. You never know these days! The fact they see their kid asleep and bright red, yet choose not to do anything speaks volumes about them. Don't start a potential argument with strangers over something which will contribute zero to your life.

@UnicornStarfish "Mind your own business. The parents might take offence"
And?

"...and insult you" because I've seen it happen over small things. It takes very little to set some people off these days! It's like most have a short fuse and are ready to blow up.
Before I think people would just say thank you but now people have been punched for looking at others "the wrong way". It's better to just let it go.

I'd appreciate if you did. I went on holidays with friends aged 18, I fell asleep reading in the shade, the shade moved my friends were swimming etc and didn't notice. I woke up scalded! And I was wearing sun cream.

But I know what others are saying, you might get back lash. So I might just say something lightly and keep walking!

@UnicornStarfish Oh-do you live in Albert Square?
Frankly, I'd risk the remote possibility of being shouted at to save someone from burns that would ruin the rest of their holiday.

It's tricky because people that are getting that burnt are usually idiots who believe they are fine and will tan afterwards. I usually say 'Would you like to borrow some suncream, I can see you're burning a bit'. They will likely ignore you. I wear factor 50 and sit in the shade as much as I can but my skin tans very easily so people think I sunbathe a lot.

@CurlewKate You need to take a chill pill and stop ranting when other people have a different opinion. I'm as entitled to my opinion as you. Next time you see somebody getting punched on a bus because they nicely told a teenager to get their dirty feet of the seat we'll talk.

Some people bizarrely seem to like getting burnt. (Don’t know why - being burnt is not a good look on anyone.) And if they’re pale-skinned, they must know the odds of getting burnt in those circumstances are high, so I’d leave them to it.

God this thread brings back memories of going abroad as a child / teen and being pointed at, told all day long that I’m burning. I am fair and blonde, my skin goes red in the sun temporarily if I’m hot. I wear high factor sun cream and no I don’t want or need to sit in the shade all day long. I now get a spray tan before a holiday (and most of the year) so you can’t tell, - sad that people can’t just kind their own business if they don’t understand people have different skin.

In Portugal a few years ago a man came up to my friend who was a bit burnt, introduced himself as an oncologist and proceeded to tell her all about the risks she was exposing herself to! We didn't take offence - it's a bit like safeguarding I suppose!

I burn at the mere hint of sun. I wear protection and still get red. This is the same now as it was when I was young. If everyone came up to me and told me I was red there would be line like a roller coaster going around the block.

Please don’t go up to random people and point out the obvious.

@UnicornStarfish -I think I see the problem - we have very different ideas of what a rant is!

If someone is asleep, or it's their back, then I most definitely would say something. If they were walking around then I wouldn't.

I would appreciate being told.

I think sometimes u just have to let people burn they soon learn (the hard way )
im very fair ! I wear 50 factor 4 uv sit in the shade with a hat on 😂
No one believes it when I say I’ve been to Greece .
I would love to yell at people your burning and risking skin cancer but it’s not my place unfortunately x

I would mention it to her family if she was asleep in full sun, was burning and they hadn't noticed. I think it's about how to approach it but there is always the risk of getting your head chewed off by people who don't like being told what to do with their kids.

Yep, this. DD has naturally red skin, particularly on her face, when she's hot/exercising. She's only 10.

If somebody had told me on holiday, whilst she was (admittedly, very) red that she was sunburnt I would have been sorely tempted to tell them to fuck off. She was not, at any point, sunburnt. I put cream on her face every single hour. She was hot.

In other words, yes, mind your own.

Why do people on MN insist on imposing on others so much? (Not you, OP, but the respondents who wonder why they get told to jog on).

Years ago DB was somewhere hot and jet lagged. Sat down for 5 minutes by the pool and woke up 2 hours later. No cream in equatorial sun. Very badly burnt and has subsequently had melanomas removed. I bet he wishes someone had woken him up.

It's a tricky one, this, because obviously you don't want to see people get burnt to a crisp but at the same time, I know that I would find it really irksome and patronising if someone came up to me on my holiday and told me I was burning and needed to put sunscreen on.

I mean, not that this would ever happen because I'm extremely pale and very much an SPF50-and-a-hat-in-the-shade kind of girl anyway - but in general I find it irritating and intrusive to get unsolicited advice from strangers. I'm sure people mean well but I think there's something a bit patronising about a stranger assuming that a) you don't already know what they're telling you and b) you aren't capable of making your own choices about risk.

So I wouldn't say anything, personally, mainly because I think the vast majority of people either know that they are burning and don't care, or have actively chosen not to bother with adequate sun protection and are happy to take the risk. I think ultimately what it boils down to is that I wouldn't tell a sunbathing stranger that they might get burnt for the same reason I wouldn't tell drinking stranger that they might get drunk, or a smoking stranger that smoking was bad for them.

A british woman once told me in mexico that i was really badly burnt and peeling and tried to cover me in a towel while essentially telling me off about sitting out in the sun. I wasnt it was psoriasis all over my back (very red large scale patch which admittedly was scaling badly due to previous days sun exposure but scaling in a good way) and sun exposure is very good for clearing bad psoriasis. I very politely said no im ok its psoriasis she looked disgusted, quite literally harumped and walked off.

I think as long as your not pushy its fine to lightly warn them they are burning. What they then do is their business.

If somebody had told me on holiday, whilst she was (admittedly, very) red that she was sunburnt I would have been sorely tempted to tell them to fuck off
But why? Why is aggression like this your starting point instead of a simple "It's ok, she's just hot"?
I know you don't owe a complete stranger an explanation but there's no way they deserve a "fuck off" either. Are you happy to model that behaviour to your 10 year old?

I would appreciate it! I am very pale so burn in all of three minutes

I’d have mentioned to the family rather than waking her myself.

So worrying that people don’t take more precautions in the sun.