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Original poster

To let DD lie to her dad?

74 replies

mamedoffa · 01/08/2023 10:05

My DD is 16. She's been with her boyfriend for around a month or 2 but they were best friends prior so I know him quite well.

Her dad lives 2 hours away and has never met him, to be honest he rarely sees DD. In a few weeks he's taking both DS’s and DD on holiday. Older DS is taking his girlfriend, no issue. DD has asked to take her boyfriend by saying he's just her friend. Her reasonings for this is they aren't in a sexual relationship but her dad wouldn't have let him go otherwise or sleep in the same room.

Should I let her get on with it and lie to him or tell her dad?

OP posts:
SemperIdem · 01/08/2023 12:07

Sorry what? He’s not sexually attracted to girls?

Is he asexual? Gay?

You just nodded and smiled when she said this, rather than asking what it actually meant?

Original poster
mamedoffa · 01/08/2023 12:46

DD says he's bisexual but is only attracted to girls romantically, I believe her as we are close. She isn't as close to her dad.

OP posts:
Humidititties · 01/08/2023 12:57

mamedoffa · 01/08/2023 12:46

DD says he's bisexual but is only attracted to girls romantically, I believe her as we are close. She isn't as close to her dad.

So you're either incredibly naive or your daughter is lying to you

Motnight · 01/08/2023 13:03

Humidititties · 01/08/2023 12:57

So you're either incredibly naive or your daughter is lying to you

Show quote history

Agree.

Either way you are allowing her to be in an incredibly vulnerable position by sharing a room with her "boyfriend".

wonderstuff · 01/08/2023 13:08

He’s romantically but not sexually attracted to her? I’d be suspicious as hell about the boyfriend tbh, I’m not sure 16 year olds getting into romantic relationships with someone they aren’t sexually attracted to is a thing.

KrisAkabusi · 01/08/2023 13:13

mamedoffa · 01/08/2023 12:46

DD says he's bisexual but is only attracted to girls romantically, I believe her as we are close. She isn't as close to her dad.

What changed last month that switched him from best friend to boyfriend?

Eve171 · 01/08/2023 13:13

I cant figure out if you're joking or not :(

Thegrumpycup · 01/08/2023 13:13

FloweryName · 01/08/2023 10:56

It would be perfectly reasonable to allow an 18 year old to bring a partner on holiday to share a bedroom and to not allow a 16 year old to do the same.

Your ex would be responsible for other people’s children on holiday so it is entirely up to him what rules he sets and you would be very much in the wrong to mislead him about any of it.

Why?! They are both over the legal age of consent in the UK.

AnnieKayTee · 01/08/2023 13:18

So the boyfriend is sexually attracted to boys? And romantically attracted to girls? I don't get it.
I knew I was old but jeeze I am bloody old. 😳

takealettermsjones · 01/08/2023 13:21

Humidititties · 01/08/2023 12:57

So you're either incredibly naive or your daughter is lying to you

Show quote history

Or the daughter is naive and the boy is feeding her lines to gain her trust?

Either way, someone's naive!!

BillaBongGirl · 01/08/2023 13:22

mamedoffa · 01/08/2023 10:37

I know they aren't having sex, when I was reminding DD about safe sex she told me her boyfriend isn't sexually attracted to girls and I believe her.

I'm unsure as to why DD wouldn't be allowed her boyfriend there but DS can have his girlfriend whether it's due to him being 18 or the fact he's a man.

Then he’s not her boyfriend, he’s a boy who is a friend…..so how is she lying?

mimoo1 · 01/08/2023 13:22

I'm thinking this must be a joke? If it isn't a joke then she is lying tiny

mimoo1 · 01/08/2023 13:23

Then she is lying to you*.

BillaBongGirl · 01/08/2023 13:24

Humidititties · 01/08/2023 12:57

So you're either incredibly naive or your daughter is lying to you

Show quote history

Or he is gay but likes to have his best friend be a girl. Which is not unusual in gay men. At 16 he probably can’t verbalise that well, as best friend love can be intense.

ManateeFair · 01/08/2023 13:26

mamedoffa · 01/08/2023 12:46

DD says he's bisexual but is only attracted to girls romantically, I believe her as we are close. She isn't as close to her dad.

Either she is incredibly naive, or you are.

FOJN · 01/08/2023 13:28

mamedoffa · 01/08/2023 12:46

DD says he's bisexual but is only attracted to girls romantically, I believe her as we are close. She isn't as close to her dad.

You might believe her but that doesn't mean that the BF is telling the truth.

ManateeFair · 01/08/2023 13:28

DD says he's bisexual but is only attracted to girls romantically

The key element of 'bisexual' is the 'sexual' part. If he's not sexually attracted to girls, regardless of any 'romantic' feelings, he is not bisexual; he is gay.

ZiriForEver · 01/08/2023 13:28

I don't consider it impossible. With one ex BF we found he wasn't much into sexual physicality - he wanted the closeness, was totally up for hand hold or hug, but wasn't interested in more. He didn't know before, but we remained together in romantic sense for another few months.

Appleofmyeye2023 · 01/08/2023 13:32

ToBeOrNotToBee · 01/08/2023 10:43

You are being incredibly naive

Well so would dad, if he believed in the “just good friends” milarky 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣🤣

FlamingoQueen · 01/08/2023 13:33

Eh?

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 01/08/2023 13:33

That's just gay with a fancy label. She's his beard. I am very comfortable with the whole sexual spectrum but you cannot be bisexual if you aren't attracted to one of the sexes.

Flipin · 01/08/2023 13:33

I know someone in a romantic relationship with someone who is asexual, but they're in their 30s. While not impossible, I'd be very wary if my teenager told me this was going on.

Appleofmyeye2023 · 01/08/2023 13:35

All advertising is advertising - even if it is horrific

Appleofmyeye2023 · 01/08/2023 13:35

Appleofmyeye2023 · 01/08/2023 13:35

All advertising is advertising - even if it is horrific

Sorry- went back to previous thread- doh 😣

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 01/08/2023 13:36

Flipin · 01/08/2023 13:33

I know someone in a romantic relationship with someone who is asexual, but they're in their 30s. While not impossible, I'd be very wary if my teenager told me this was going on.

He isn't claiming to be asexual