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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you allow your 12 year old to have acrylic nails?

206 replies

Icantremembermyusername · 31/07/2023 22:22

Just that, really?
Am I being mean?
DD - Can I have my nails done?
Me -yes, we’ll have a manicure during the holidays.
DD - No, I meant can I go to X place and have acrylic nails FOR MY BIRTHDAY
Me - No. I’ve already organised your (very expensive) birthday present (and those from both sets of grandparents and your extended relatives) and agreed to pay for a movie night with your mates plus a pre agreed day out with your best mate. We can maybe have a manicure at a salon (no acrylics) later in the hols.
DD - massive sulk and went to bed.
i feel like she’s taking the absolute piss!
Aibu? Yes - she should have the nails. No - she’s being a brat.
Thank you!

OP posts:
maggiecate · 31/07/2023 23:20

Nope. If she’s got weak nails and wants to grow them then maybe BIAB gel, which has done wonders for mine - my natural nails have actually got some length after a lifetime of biting and are much less prone to breaking. Not acrylics though. They destroy the natural nail.

GallaBru · 31/07/2023 23:22

God no, my 12 year olds nails are barely big enough or strong enough to handle that - I avoid them personally because they cause some bloody destruction to my nails, gel and acrylics. When I do cave for gel I make sure my nails are strong and I don’t touch the gel again for months after

egowise · 31/07/2023 23:23

I'd say no to acrylics.
I've lost my whole little fingernail in the past, and you can't always be sure what products a salon uses, especially none standard salons.

Gel polish I'd be okay with.

Snugglemonkey · 31/07/2023 23:25

I do not have acrylics, I think they are hideous. Like fuck am I paying for them for my daughter. She can ruin her nails with her own cash when she earns it.

Punkkitty · 31/07/2023 23:27

Icantremembermyusername · 31/07/2023 23:18

Thank you @Punkkitty - I don’t think she has that disposable income!
Thank you all - I’ll show her this in the morning and hopefully she’ll realise I’m not a total cow :-) x

No problem at all. Even the infills are at least £35 a pop so you need to be aware of that before you start. Daily functioning with acrylics is also a bit of challenge. Buttoning blouses, putting on fiddly necklaces is much more time consuming. One ding off a car handle is enough to put you off for life!
I think it makes more sense to explain why it’s not an option rather than simply saying no. Especially if other girls her age are getting them.

purpleboy · 31/07/2023 23:32

No sorry, tacky and unnecessary.

Mummyoflittledragon · 31/07/2023 23:33

Almost all the girls had them at the end of year 7 at dd’s school. I let dd have them tbh. She wasn’t into nails and make up big time at that age but wanted to fit in. I do think it is a little young and her friend had issues with the nails. Dd is very careful and horse rides so wore gloves. She’s only had them done 2 more times and didn’t bother to get them done last year at age 14 nor this year at 15.

PurelyOrnamental · 31/07/2023 23:36

I've just let my 13 year old have them on. It's the start of the holidays and I don't see the harm.
In OP'S case though I would say no based on the financial side of things.

elm26 · 31/07/2023 23:41

I had acrylics from age 15-25 and my nails are still absolutely wrecked now at 30, thin and brittle. I do have a manicure every few weeks, it's one of my treats but I go to a lady local to me who does it from her home salon and doesn't use the drills etc.

So no, from that point of view, I wouldn't allow mine to have them at that age.

XelaM · 31/07/2023 23:42

PurelyOrnamental · 31/07/2023 23:36

I've just let my 13 year old have them on. It's the start of the holidays and I don't see the harm.
In OP'S case though I would say no based on the financial side of things.

Based on this thread I thought I was the worst parent ever, but glad ai'm not the only one letting my 13-year-okd have acrylics in the holidays 😃

RaininSummer · 31/07/2023 23:51

No. Damages the nails and sets them up to want to keep doing them. Maybe the start of a high maintenance young woman.

Ericaequites · 31/07/2023 23:53

They are expensive, unattractive, unwholesome, impractical, unsanitary, and unhealthy. Besides, how do you keyboard with them?

tt9 · 31/07/2023 23:55

maybe I will sound old fashioned... but I just don't get it. 12 year olds should be outside running around, getting mud on their clothes and too obsessed with horses/sports/whatever else to care about what they wear let alone fake plastic nails. they are children.. their whole adulthood will be filled with society telling them how to look... breaks my heart it starts so young now..
I don't think I even knew what clothes I had at the age of 12...

Original poster
Icantremembermyusername · 31/07/2023 23:58

Where am I in your parenting scale @XelaM ?

OP posts:
LadyGaGasPokerFace · 01/08/2023 00:03

She’s 12. Acrylics will ruin her nails. I won’t let mine 12 and 13 have them done. Awful bloody things. Yes, I’ve had them before many times in my 20’s and in the past for special occasions, but no, not happening.
They’re expensive and need maintenance every 2/3 weeks. No chance!

XelaM · 01/08/2023 00:05

tt9 · 31/07/2023 23:55

maybe I will sound old fashioned... but I just don't get it. 12 year olds should be outside running around, getting mud on their clothes and too obsessed with horses/sports/whatever else to care about what they wear let alone fake plastic nails. they are children.. their whole adulthood will be filled with society telling them how to look... breaks my heart it starts so young now..
I don't think I even knew what clothes I had at the age of 12...

My 13-year-old does all that with fake nails 😂 - she has ponies and spends most of her day covered in hay and muck (and a lot of the time breaks her expensive nails 😬). You'd be surprised how many on the yard have nice nails (that break 🙈)

XelaM · 01/08/2023 00:06

Icantremembermyusername · 31/07/2023 23:58

Where am I in your parenting scale @XelaM ?

Definitely winning at parenting 😃 (unlike me who hangs head in shame 🙈)

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 01/08/2023 00:07

Absolutely not. So damaging.

PurelyOrnamental · 01/08/2023 00:16

tt9 · 31/07/2023 23:55

maybe I will sound old fashioned... but I just don't get it. 12 year olds should be outside running around, getting mud on their clothes and too obsessed with horses/sports/whatever else to care about what they wear let alone fake plastic nails. they are children.. their whole adulthood will be filled with society telling them how to look... breaks my heart it starts so young now..
I don't think I even knew what clothes I had at the age of 12...

My daughter will be going riding tomorrow with them on.
She went out in the pouring rain (mud) earlier with the dog.
@Ericaequites unwholesome? Really? They are just plastic nails! They are by no means an indication of how wholesome or not a young girl is. This train of thought is seriously depressing in 2023.

XelaM · 01/08/2023 00:18

PurelyOrnamental · 01/08/2023 00:16

My daughter will be going riding tomorrow with them on.
She went out in the pouring rain (mud) earlier with the dog.
@Ericaequites unwholesome? Really? They are just plastic nails! They are by no means an indication of how wholesome or not a young girl is. This train of thought is seriously depressing in 2023.

Show quote history

I totally agree with you and most teens at our yard do their nails in the holidays. I do make my daughter wear gloves though (she normally rides without 😬)

tt9 · 01/08/2023 00:24

@XelaM I guess times have changed! glad the nails are not stopping them from there equine adventures

HateMyselfToo · 01/08/2023 00:30

I took my 13yr old to have her nails 'done' at the start of the holidays. We weren't really sure what to go for, so the girl at our local salon talked us through all the options and said she wouldn't do acrylics for someone so young as would damage the nails. We pushed the boat out and went for gels, which she liked and strengthened her own nails. She's decided in future she will just go for a file and polish though.
I never did stuff like this with my Mum and I feel honoured that DD wants to do 'girly' stuff with me.

PurelyOrnamental · 01/08/2023 00:30

XelaM · 01/08/2023 00:18

I totally agree with you and most teens at our yard do their nails in the holidays. I do make my daughter wear gloves though (she normally rides without 😬)

Show quote history

I find it amazing that this thread has gone the way it has!
Apparently a set of plastic fashion accessories not only means you will spend the summer indoors (absolutely not!) but you will also be judged as unwholesome 🤣
I feel like some mumsnetters must live life reenacting Little House on The Prairie 🙄

Lemieux7 · 01/08/2023 00:31

No, I would let her have gels but not acrylics at this age.

PermanentTemporary · 01/08/2023 00:54

Right, yes, it's either French tips at 13 or you're literally Victorian Hmm

Googled a bit to find articles for professional nail techs saying 'I won't do acrylics to anyone under 15' for multiple reasons.

I agree with the pp who said if you find a salon that will do acrylics for children this age, avoid the place.

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