To ask what made you decide to have a child?

[ForestGoblin]

And did the reason turn out to be as you'd hoped/expected?

For me, I knew I was ready when my desire outweighed my fears and anxieties. I'd always vaguely wanted children but always had more on my 'cons' list than my 'pros'. But, like I said I knew I was ready when they changed around!

As for expectations, it's so, so much better than I thought it would be, and I thought I would love it! I don't worry about things I thought I would worry about, but I do worry about things I didn't think I would! It's all tipsy turvy! It is however the absolute best thing I've ever done

following as im struggling to take the leap

Pure curiosity. It’s one of the aspects of life you can’t experience by proxy or guess about without doing it.

I’d never considered having a child at all, and am a chilly, impatient work-focused person. It was completely out of character. DS is 11 and delightful, but some friends and relatives are still reeling from the shock.

It just felt like next logical step after marriage.

Did you find the early years ok? Always feel those seem toughest as someone who doesn't feel the natural "babies are cute" reaction myself.

Unspeakably ghastly till I went back to work — I had postnatal psychosis, DS was a difficult, high-needs baby, and I thought I’d made a horrific mistake. But things got better the moment I was able to integrate parenthood with my professional life. Apart from those first few months, I’ve always been delighted I had him. Parenthood is much more interesting than it looks from the outside. You make a person and get to help them grow up, and DS is funny, and clever and sensitive and maddening, and lovely to have around. I’m sure puberty will be another journey.

I had a hard upbringing and was sad a lot as a kid. I met a guy when I was 22 who was (and still is) the nicest person I’ve ever met, and I fell I love with him. He always wanted kids because he had a great childhood and so much love to give, and I wanted to have kids so I could be part of a lovely family that Id always wanted when I was little. Now we have our kids it’s much better than I ever expected, there is so much love in our family, love that I’d never known in my life. Having children has helped me heal; and I adore and caring for them everyday with my husband.

I was very anti babies/children until I had a miscarriage (unplanned pregnancy). A very strong desire kicked in afterwards and having a child was all I ever thought about. Finally happened at 41. I read a few books, knew it wouldn't be 'easy' but when my baby was finally in my arms, instinct kicked in. It seemed the most natural thing in the world. I think my own DM thought I wouldn't cope and in fact when DC was diagnosed with ASD she was very surprised at how well I handled everything. I'm pleased to report my DC is now a teen and is a joy to be around and I'll be forever thankful I finally became a Mum. It's the biggest honour.

First one we were married, mortgage, had lots of big holidays and were financially secure so thought "now is a good time"

We were one and done aged twenty four 🙄

Until I hit thirty and was like.. fuck

Now we have two wonderful, beautiful children with a seven year age gap

We are definitely done now. I love newborn babies but toddlers are just something else. Never again. I feel so sad that I'll never be pregnant again, nor experience the breastfeeding and cuddles.. but the toddler? Wow. She is a maniac, in the most awesome of ways. I'm too old (in myself) to ever do it again

Never wanted children. Then my dad died when I was 37. Cue soul searching of the cycle of life variety. Now have 2. Loved being a parent until the eldest reached high school. Now hate it but hope the circle of life intervenes to make it worth it.

For me it wasn't a decision as such, just something I always knew I wanted even as a child. It was a need like being thirsty or hungry. I always had someone's baby on my hip from as young as 10 or 11 yrs old, they drew me to them like a magnet🤷‍♀️🥰

Oh my gosh! It was just like this huge maternal urge/pull/desire! Kind of like when u really what chocolate! Or really want a clean house!! But triple the desire and add in lots of hormone!! .. well, that's how it was for me! I felt same again after DS1, so we had DS2!! I felt same again after DS2, but DH said no :( DS2 is now 9, and although the urge is subsiding, I still get pangs! Kind of like a smoker still has urges for a cigarette after giving up!

(Not sure how my DC would feel to be likened to a chocolate/ciagrette craving! But hopefully you get the jist!!)

The positive pregnancy test was the first time I had ever considered children but I was 18! I loved the whole thing and then wanted a large family (had three in the end).

I often wonder whether I would have actively made the decision to have children one day had I not fallen pregnant when I did.

Felt a bit broody in my late 20s but it was always just one of those things that I expected to do

now I’m in the thick of it with a 4 year old and a baby - well it’s more hectic and stressful than I ever expected - I am a driven, type a person who likes spreadsheets, lists and deadlines - having little people about throws my well intentioned plans into chaos (including my plan to sleep)

but honestly - in the most magical and difficult to explain way - it is the best thing I’ve ever done and makes me happier and more fulfilled than I ever thought I could be

I’m still a driven person but my career wasn’t my purpose - having my kids has given me my purpose and changed me overnight without me ever expecting it to happen

It was never a question for me. It always seemed like a natural and lovely thing to do.

When I met my future husband I was really excited at the prospect of having kids together.

I was ready when I was about 25/26 but it took him a few more years to feel ready.

Having DS has been everything I expected and more. Huge adventure. And DC2 is now on the way!

Hitting 30ish and hormones. Anything else is an elaborate story my brain spins to justify it.

I don't think I gave much thought to all the years after age 3 or so. Teens are way underrated, lovely to have around though there are really big, dark things to deal with like anorexia, self harming etc that make things like toilet training and starting school look like a doddle.

One thing I have changed my mind on is the number of children. We went in thinking we'd definitely want 2 so they had each other, but now I think only children have a lot of advantages. I wouldn't wish away DC2 at all, but the only children I know mostly seem to live a charmed life.

Always was clear that I wanted to be a mum and young. I never actually gave it much thought though I didn't know or really consider how many kids I wanted or what the reality would be. Just knew I wanted to be a mum!

Here I am mum to 1 DC. I didn't have any expectations but it didn't go to plan. I'm super grateful and like most will tell you I wouldn't swop my DS for the world.

I just think I always knew I wanted 2 kids and when I met the right man and had spent a few years together, it was just the natural progression of our relationship. We found the early years tough so there’s a bigger age gap between our children than my younger self would have expected.

But having children has far far exceeded my expectations. In every single way.

@Magneta I have an only and it is a worry future wise. I have the same experience as you as the only people I know have a charmed life also! I'm hoping it's the same for DS too.

We had all the practical things in place that meant we were in a position to think we were ready so then just left it up to nature

But you must have actually wanted to do it? People don't leave the door open for bad things (like a burglar). What appealed to you?

Honestly I was gaslighted and fooled into it by the security of having a good dad turns out he can be but not very often.

I was young free and happy to live life before and you know what I’d only change who I had her with now.

she is incredible. The light of my life. Will be my best friend I mean she already is but as she grows she’s only 18 months old now.

I knew it was the right time in age though and I’d semi done enough of being free and from when i was young I knew I wanted to be a mum. I was always so so attentive towards other peoples children and got told!!

it took me a while to feel comfortable but I love my life with her in it.

I always wanted kids in a way that was deep seated and evolutionary. I didn't even consider not having them.

It was as much of an urge to "have" them as it is now an urge "not to have" anymore!

I did always know that I wanted to wait until I'd experienced enough in my life first, and had them at 31 and 34 respectively.

I only chose to in as much as I chose not to terminate once I was unintentionally pregnant. But I felt like I recognised him from the first moment I saw his face, and just loved being a mum. I’m not saying I’ve never found anything hard, but I’ve just loved every stage. I did choose to have DC2 - but it was like a physical ache, not a rational choice. DC3 and 4 again were intended - but definitely head choices this time - deciding to go back to the start with a new husband. The reason I chose to have DC3 was DH really wanted to be a dad, and I knew I couldn’t marry him if I wasn’t prepared to do it. But having DC3 really reignited my love of babies and it’s quite frankly a miracle I only have 4 kids…in another life I’m the sort who’s have 6 or 7…🙈

Massive biological pull.

Took years to get there with lots of miscarriages along the way. I managed to have my one precious DS.

By far the best thing ever to have happened to me - but kids can be bloody hard work and you live with an unprecedented level of fear re anything happening to them.