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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have tipped the waitress a fiver?

55 replies

listsandbudgets · 30/07/2023 15:46

I went out for lunch with a friend yesterday - basic pub grub type of place.

The waitress was absolutely lovely. She found water for the dog without being asked, cleared efficiently , came over quickly if we were trying to get her attention and generally did her job very cheerfully. It may sound silly but she made a "pub grub" meal feel quite upmarket.

She was obviously very young - maybe 15 or 16 a I thought given how well she was working I'd give her a fiver (we only spent £25 so it was quite a good percentage tip) She seemed pleased

After we left my friend berated me saying that she was far too young for such a big tip and was only doing her job and that she'd just spend it on "crap" anyway and it would give her unreasonable expectations about life... and she hoped I wasn't going to expect her to contribute as she'd never have tipped anyone so young anyway as they don't really need the money.

I think she might soon be an ex friend!

So was IBU or have I led the poor girl into a path of unreasonable expectation and buying endless "crap"

OP posts:
Virginsexonthebeachplease · 30/07/2023 15:48

No you are not unreasonable. It was only 20% - hardly huge - and your friend sounds quite bitter and nasty!

KeepingMySpreadsheetUpToDate · 30/07/2023 15:49

lovely thing to do!

GolgafrinchamB · 30/07/2023 15:50

Your friend sounds really unpleasant! Of course you shpuld tip a young person who's given great service.

Clarinet1 · 30/07/2023 15:51

You tip what you feel is right. From what you say, this girl went above and beyond and should go far and be encouraged, not slapped down by your “friend”!

Roselilly36 · 30/07/2023 15:52

I would have done the same, I bet the waitress was really pleased. Your friend doesnt sound very pleasant tbh.

JessicaPeach · 30/07/2023 15:52

When I waitressed as a teenager a big tip meant so much to me. I used to waitress in a coffee shop where we all had a little money box each to collect our tips when people paid. I used to love emptying it at the end of each shift to see if there were any 'nuggets' (pound coins!) I bet you made her day!

Hugasauras · 30/07/2023 15:53

Your friend sounds like a miserable so-and-so.

saveforthat · 30/07/2023 15:53

I always leave about 20%. I think the pub grub type waiters need it more than in the high end restaurants as I expect people tip less in pubs.

TomatoSandwiches · 30/07/2023 15:54

Your friend is a miser and I would not enjoy their company, it's also non of their business what you tip.

Planetegg · 30/07/2023 15:55

Your friend is a stingy cow.
You were generous and thoughtful.
Even if it is spent on ‘crap’ you felt she deserved it. It may be spent on something very much needed. You will never know but you are not the unreasonable one.

Blossomtoes · 30/07/2023 15:57

How long will she be a friend? It would be a very long time before I wanted to spend time with her again.

Sakura7 · 30/07/2023 15:59

Your friend sounds mental.

timegoingtooquickly · 30/07/2023 15:59

My 16 year old would have been thrilled! She works had and is saving for uni so it wouldn't be spent on crap 🙄. Your friend sounds horrible!

tt9 · 30/07/2023 16:01

oh dear. I wouldn't want to handle being around someone who begrudge a young kid a fiver!

RitzyMcFitzy · 30/07/2023 16:01

she'd just spend it on "crap" anyway and it would give her unreasonable expectations about life

Grin

Good! Let her spend it on false eyelashes or nail polish or whatever and think 'adult life must be ace!'.

Your pal is a proper Mr Gradgrind.

MmmALovelyBitOfSquirrel · 30/07/2023 16:02

I'd be questioning why your friend feels so comfortable to berate you over something that's none of her business! You did a kind thing to a girl who clearly made your experience better. You're happy, she was happy... Your friend is the odd one out... Good riddance to negative 'friends'!

WhateverMate · 30/07/2023 16:02

This cannot be a serious question OP.

You gave someone a tip - well done but really, you need to ask? 🙄

tillytoodles1 · 30/07/2023 16:03

I had a tight new friend , but didn't know it then.
We went out for lunch and when the bill came, my cake was 20p dearer than hers so she deducted the 20p, split the bill, then I had to pay the 20p on my share. She never tipped and I never went out with her again.

M4J4 · 30/07/2023 16:04

Your friend is a twat. I’m frugal for myself but always tip 10% or a fiver as a minimum for good service.

We ate in Wingstop the other day and tipped the staff as they were very helpful with a wrong order, they were shocked as no one tips them.

Augend23 · 30/07/2023 16:04

I still remember getting the odd big tip when I did shifts as a waitress as a teenager. It used to make my day.

TreesandFish · 30/07/2023 16:05

Your friend is agist and they sound like a twat

Poshjock · 30/07/2023 16:07

MmmALovelyBitOfSquirrel · 30/07/2023 16:02

I'd be questioning why your friend feels so comfortable to berate you over something that's none of her business! You did a kind thing to a girl who clearly made your experience better. You're happy, she was happy... Your friend is the odd one out... Good riddance to negative 'friends'!

This.

Literally did this last week with a young waitress who was clearly working very hard, was zooming around the restaurant being very productive but also very smiley and nice with it. Decided to tip well in recognition to her efforts and then overheard that they were very short staffed with only 2 of them on which explained why she seemed to be everywhere. Tipped £5 for a £20 ish bill. Totally worth it.

RightOnTheEdge · 30/07/2023 16:07

Your friend sounds like a horrible person.
It sounds like your waitress earned it.
Who cares what she spent it on?

lap90 · 30/07/2023 16:08

Your friend sounds miserable.

Cincinnatus · 30/07/2023 16:09

You know very well you aren’t being unreasonable.

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