Space of my own/separate rooms

[Stylesformiles]

DH and I are planning on a move to a bigger house (2 bed place to 3) and I’ve been thinking about asking him if we can have separate rooms.

He went on a business trip last week and I had the room to myself, and it was bliss! He usually comes to bed after me and disturbs me, then snores the house down. It wasn’t just the sleep, I got to keep the room as tidy as I wanted too. It made me think that some space of my own would make me so happy.

Our relationship is great and I really don’t want to lose the intimacy but I just felt so much better last week with a room of my own. AIBU if I ask him for separate rooms?

Has anyone regretted it or was it the right decision?

My husband and I don’t officially have separate bedrooms, but because he’s a snorer and bed hog, we go to bed together each night and then once he’s woken me up with his snoring/bed hogging, I scuttle off to one of the spare rooms and sleep the sleep of the innocent - bliss!

I wouldn’t like it to be official, as I love going to bed with him, but I just can’t spend all night with him so our system works.

It also meant that when we redecorated, I got my way over what we did in the spare rooms as they’re unofficially mine 😂

Sounds perfect!!

That much space must be amazing!

I would do it- then when you do spend the night together it's special and romantic and intentional

YABU to think you have to ask permission.

@Stylesformiles
It is just an ordinary two bed + box room place. An en suite and main bathroom. The two TV rooms are a dining room and a sitting room. We just use them differently! No kids allows this.....

I love having my own space, the only downside is not being used to having to bedshare when we're on hols

We have "our" bedroom with all our clothes and stuff in and a king size bed that's just mine now. DP sleeps in a big "spare room" in the attic that has a comfy double bed and my WFH study and loads of books etc.

He gets woken up less by DC than I do which is annoying but I adore the big bed and bedroom to myself, and he prefers separate sleeping too now.

It's all due to his unbearable horrific homicidal rage inducing snoring. I would be in prison by now if we hadn't split the sleeping area tents up. I need earplugs for holidays.

No idea where tents came from! Thanks autocorrect!

We don't have tents but I would if it was only way to avoid the snoring.

I'm desperate to buy a 2 bed so we can have a room each. The snoring, heat of another body, lack of space to sprawl and tripping over all of our clothes, shoes, books etc due to lack of space are driving me fucking insane. I love my man but crave what so many of you are describing!

😂

We have friends who never bothered moving in together been married 24 years.

DH and I love sleeping next to each other but definitely need our own space! We both WFH (him full-time, me 3 days a week) so we have our own offices.
The mark of a wealthy couple used to be separate bedrooms ;) Go for it

I sleep in the spare room 50% of the time. I just sleep so much better alone and like my own space generally. I do like the fact we share a bed sometimes though.

Of course you should have your own room if you have space. Delicious luxury.

I'd shift your language from "I want to ask him" to discussing it with him.

You are equal in this. Not the child asking for the bigger bed room- that's how it sounds.

Separate rooms- definitely a great idea but you don't need anyone's permission!,

Me and DH have separate rooms and it’s HEAVEN!!!

I think it’s because I hadn’t given it much thought myself before last week, so was still figuring out what I wanted this morning. The positive comments on this thread have helped make up my mind though. I’ll definitely be assertive when I speak to him about.

Telling, not asking.

We had just bought a superking sized bed when DS left home to move in with his girlfriend taking his bed with him.
Got a new bed that weekend and set up a big TV for DH and now I have a superking sized bed with white cotton hotel sheets all to myself, every night.
Bliss.

No regrets here, we’ve had separate rooms for about 9 years.

So I had the conversation with DH. He was surprised and had some reservations but I held firm and explained my reasons. He’s realised that I’m not asking permission so he’s accepting it.

Really looking forward to having my own space, just want to get moved now! Thanks everyone for the advice!

We do after years of arguing over snoring. It was getting so bad we'd fight in the night and be snippy with each other the next day. He got sick of me telling him to go on the sofa so he decided to go to the spare room permanently. At first I thought it would be awful but it was really good. We have just been away and slept in same bed and it was ok but I don't want to do it all the time

I’ve just done this, DH had moved into the spare room and I’ve got the main room. It’s amazing, can’t recommend it highly enough. I sleep so well and I’ve redecorated to my taste. I wish I’d done it years ago.

Married six years, together almost nine, we've lived 60 miles apart for the duration and it works like a charm, see each other at least 3/4 days a week, fancy the pants off him , daring when you're married keeps it very fresh ☺️

We love it! No need for for it to affect intimacy.