Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel weird on girls/mum night out

58 replies

Noworkfortwoweeksyes · 29/07/2023 23:12

I never go on them anymore, I’m mid forties but with a 5 year old dc, so many of my friends are a bit younger-mid-late 30’s, it’s not a huge difference, I'm not dowdy by any means. Before Dd, I travelled lots, went to festivals, parties etc and Dh and I really lived. Since Dd, it’s obviously slowed down, I meet with friends for play dates or lunches etc and we have drinks, but kids are always with us.
Went on a night out and whilst nice, I just felt a bit weird, standing in a bar at 1am doing shots chatting to guys (platonic, friend of one of my friends) was a weird feeling.
i came away feeling good, but also like I’d missed loads of living but also like I don’t know if I cba to do it again 😂
Am I just too old now? (depressing thought)
How often do you have girls nights out, if you do?

OP posts:
Hawkins0001 · 30/07/2023 00:09

At least if your fishing from the company pond as an example and building your friendship groups that way, you get to learn people's personalities etc

EmilyEmmabob · 30/07/2023 00:10

I don't think it's an age thing, it's just about what you prioritise - I'm 42 and I prioritise sleep and not having a hangover because I'm rubbish at them. I know if I actually went on a night out I'd enjoy it (even though the thought of it would be unbearable). But it's been so long since I prioritised a proper night out that I just don't think I could be bothered with the organising and getting ready. I just see it as because I'm not bothered staying in every weekend and I don't feeling like I'm missing out (because my friends don't prioritise going out either) that it's mostly enjoyable.

BadNomad · 30/07/2023 00:23

It's definitely a you thing rather than an age thing. I love nights out, but hate the getting-there and getting-home-again-after parts.

mondaytosunday · 30/07/2023 00:40

I love a meet up with the girls, but it's generally lunch. I do do evenings too, but less frequently - once I'm home it takes a lot to get me out again!

Justaddalittlespice · 30/07/2023 01:08

I think its a post covid thing, iv got so lazy after lockdowns, I love being home now

FirstDayOfHoliyays · 30/07/2023 01:16

"At least if your fishing from the company pond as an example and building your friendship groups that way, you get to learn people's personalities etc"

Wtf?

Hawkins0001 · 30/07/2023 01:17

FirstDayOfHoliyays · 30/07/2023 01:16

"At least if your fishing from the company pond as an example and building your friendship groups that way, you get to learn people's personalities etc"

Wtf?

I was using it as a counter point for building friendships vs meeting random people in bars and clubs.

Context is key.

Hawkins0001 · 30/07/2023 01:19

@FirstDayOfHoliyays
The post I made just above that one was my first part the post you quoted was my second part of the same comment.

mrsfollowill · 30/07/2023 01:21

I'm in my 50's - love a weekend afternoon out - cocktails nice lunch etc- but back home for 6/7pm. We (me and DH ) like to go for dinner out now and again but normally go early - out for 5, few drinks, dinner 7:30 and head home around 9:30 pm before all the young ones have even arrived in town! Don't go to bed early really but like being chilled at home.

MrsStrangeViews · 30/07/2023 06:12

I’m much younger than you (no kids) and I’ve never like any of those things! 😃
My nightmare actually, always liked quiet and calm lifestyle myself.

autienotnaughti · 30/07/2023 06:29

I had kids in early 20's. When I got divorced in my late 20's they went to their dads every other weekend so I used this time to be young free and single. I had a great time. I then got married again and had another baby in my late 30's. I did have a bit of a 'is this it pang' around 40 but I've settled that now. I'm fine, if a night out came up id maybe go but I'm not bothered either way any more.

10oclock · 30/07/2023 07:06

Noworkfortwoweeksyes · 29/07/2023 23:28

@10oclock Yes, what is it do you think, the getting up with kids the next day? Or just leaving them?

Just can’t cope with any sort of hangover anymore, people weren’t lying when they say they get worse as you get older. Getting up with the kids the next day and being even slightly hungover is just a big fat no, I think also after having such long breaks of no drinking with pregnancy etc you adjust. Yes I’ll have one glass of wine but I really don’t need anymore and I would never have thought that would be the case 😂

landbeforegrime · 30/07/2023 07:18

i wouldn't be anywhere past 9pm! 40 with a 3yo and another on the way. i don't like being away from dc. i had my 20s and most of my 30s to do that kind of thing so no fomo now at all. different phase in life which i don't think is age so much as just wanting to be at home for dc. and i mean wanting to, i have absolutely no desire to go out. i just wouldn't enjoy it anymore. i don't intend to step foot in a club again, nothing against them, just been there, done that to death and moved on. when dc have independence and i am in my 50s i will look forward to fancy restaurants and holidays, but going to bars and clubs, no thank you.

yogasaurus · 30/07/2023 07:21

Yabnu, I don’t want to go to clubs ever again. I don’t have the clothes anyway.

Dinner and a few drinks and always home before midnight now.

Lunch and a few drinks and home by 5pm is even better!

wannabetraveler · 30/07/2023 07:29

I'm 46 with three kids and I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than be downing shots in a pub at 1:00 a.m. Couldn't think of anything worse.

Now, a few good bottles of wine and a cheese board in a good friend's living room - that's my kind of night out.

wannabetraveler · 30/07/2023 07:32

Agree with others too - boozy late lunch and home by 5? Perfect!!

BroomHandledMouser · 30/07/2023 07:34

Yes to boozy late lunches! I’m 39 with an 11 and 13 year old and I just cannot be arsed with the late nights or dressing up. I don’t think I’ve worn a pair of heels since pre covid!

NorthWestThree · 30/07/2023 07:34

Figgygal · 29/07/2023 23:28

Also who can afford it
I used to go out with a tenner in my purse now with contact less its too easy to spend an absolute fortune when out

This is my issue! I love a night out (I'm mid-40's), shots at the bar at 1am and all, but I can't afford to party these days. A night out drinking and kebab on the way home used to be something I could do weekly/fortnightly but now it's a rare event.
I miss socialising in that way but I just don't have the money. My life is all boring walks and coffee now as that's all the budget allows. Fucking miserable.

eatsleepfarmrepeat · 30/07/2023 07:37

I’m 33 and I’m not arsed about shots at 1am anywhere.

I love a girls child free day drinking sesh, or an evening out supper and drinks or mostly just entertaining friends at home. To be honest I’d always pick my husband over girls drinks because he’s just better company!

Mumdiva99 · 30/07/2023 07:39

Well I'm late 40's and in the last few years have rediscovered my love of live music. We regularly go to a local venus and boogie.

However, i wouldn't want to be just in a pub. Surely it's about finding what you like doing?

MiddleParking · 30/07/2023 08:01

I find going out, drinking and then having a hangover to be such a waste of babysitting that could be used for uninterrupted tv watching, eating and sleeping.

Auntieofdragons · 30/07/2023 08:04

40 was a bit of a corner turn for me! I have a 5yo and a bunch of the school mums have asked me to go out with them a couple of times. They seem to be mostly early or mid 30s. I haven’t been free to go yet but they’ve stayed up drinking or gone out clubbing til 3am both times. I don’t think I’ll go even if I am free next time.. I would be far too tired to stay up that late!! Love a few glasses of wine and home when the pub closes or a day out drinking cider at a festival but at 11pm I want to be in bed! I also have a 2yo and a 13yo and wouldn’t want to waste a day with them on a hangover and barely any sleep.

sandgrown · 30/07/2023 08:11

Gosh. I am in my 60s and regularly meet friends. We often go for a meal as we like to chat but we also go to concerts and day festivals. We have just booked a retro 70s disco night. Obviously no young children to worry about. You only live once!

something2say · 30/07/2023 08:15

I'm 48, almost 49, and still at it!

Like last night for example, I practiced all day and did my jobs, got ready at 4pm and went out, had a few pints and had enough by 10pm, came home and into bed with some crisps.

When I was younger, I would stay up later, but these days I tend to leave at about 8pm. But music is my life and always will be.

PurpleChrayne · 30/07/2023 08:19

I can't think of anything worse than a "mum's night out", personally! Sofa and book/telly all the way!