Why is my baby doing this? Struggling so much

[goingmad11]

Dd 9 months is waking every half hour but for no apparent reason. When I go in she is crying but eyes are closed, I give her the teddy back and she settles almost immediately (yes I know they are not supposed to have a teddy and I remove it when she’s asleep again).

She is definitely full and nappy changed etc.

I go back to work in 3 weeks and until now she has been pretty good with sleep. I can’t cope with this. Why is it happening and more importantly what do I do? Do I keep going in and re settling or do I leave her to cry longer? I don’t know how I will manage my job if this continues.

Every half hour is probably an exaggeration. Half an hour sometimes, then 1 hour and a half, then half an hour, then two hours etc. She did this last night 5 times.

Teething? Growth spurt maybe. I’d try calpol if it were me. Then I’d try co sleeping, she may settle again without you waking if she realises you’re right there.

Sounds like she has come into a light sleep phase and she is reliant on cuddling teddy to go back to sleep. Is it not one suitable from birth?

This is pretty normal

At around 8/9 months they tend to go through a separation anxiety. It must be hard having to get up, can you bring her cot into your room to make things easier for you?

@User17865 ive been told to avoid co sleeping at all costs but maybe we are at that point.

Shes fine in the day so I hadn’t considered calpol. I will do that later if it carries on. Thanks.

@RandomMess yes it’s suitable from birth but had read to have nothing in the cot at all until age 1?

@RedRobyn2021 we have no room in our room for the cot, she’s in a bigger one now next door

Why have you been told to avoid cosleeping at all costs? Is there is a medical reason you two shouldn’t try it? If not I would look up the lullaby trust info and give it a go.

Recommendation I always give re sleep is Lydney hookway on IG.

Have you played around with nap times/bed times? Maybe needs more awake time before bed?

Sometimes there seems to be no reason for these 'regressions' and they're so hard when it happening but it will end x

Oh OP, I really feel for you. I really remember this time with our three - I don't know if it helps at all, but it is very, VERY normal for babies' sleep to go absolutely haywire around this time. Google "9 month sleep regression". It does pass, and it's nothing you are doing wrong. Good luck 💐

My DD dad that around that age… teething!! It just about broke me

Personally I’d avoid co sleeping if you’ve got this far without co sleeping… having time and space to yourself if sanity saving .

Sounds like sleep regression. They’re on the cusp of walking/talking etc and this age and their brain is in overdrive.
Have a look at the ‘Wonder Weeks’ app. It anticipates the regressions for you, how long they’ll likely last, why they’re happening (so much easier to tolerate things when you get them!) and gives some useful tips to help get through the stages.
https://www.thewonderweeks.com/baby/apps/the-wonder-weeks-app/

I co slept at times like this and went back to having them in their own room asap. As a PP said you need to make sure neither of you are on medication that makes you deep sleepy etc. check the guidance for bedding etc as well as she’s still little. It’s unlikely to last things rarely do with babies!

Sympathies, op. This age nearly killed me off with ds1. Between 8-10 months he woke every half hour. It was hell on earth and I was a walking zombie. Worst regression I went through with him. No advice except it does pass. Try hang in there. (ds2 is 6 months old and he's not been as good a sleeper as his brother and we've finally got to a stage of sleeping so I'm dressing this 8 month regression ..)

do you have a partner?

@Didimum yes I’m married, we are doing a wake up each but it still wakes me too IYSWIM

I have a baby same age and similarly doing the same. Every now and again throughout the night she'll suddenly cry out. I have actually worked out now that whether I go in or don't it's the same outcome. She seems to just cry for a few seconds but is still asleep then finds her "comforter" and rolls over and goes back to sleep.
So I normally wait a few seconds before going in - if she carries on then I go in.

Is your baby crying for long?

What happens if you don't go in? Have you tried at all? My son would wake up, have a little cry and go back to sleep in his own. We use a dummy though, so it might help with self soothing

Yes this!

@Berklilly how long do you leave it? Longest we have left it is a minute… at wits end now

Sounds totally normal and like Teething

Calpol and bonjela...

I would also leave the teddy in with her and start paying attention to cry types. I found about 9 months my DD developed dif cries (pain, whining, general attention etc)

Could be teeth my 7 month old has been the same the past week have u tried Calgel is a teething gel that numbs there gums

Yes, it’s super tough when you can’t sleep through despite someone else doing the wake up. I would give Calpol a shot since it’s easiest and you can then rule out something like teething pain. I’d consider leaving the teddy with her - at 9m the risk of cot death is vanishingly small, certainly on par with co sleeping. Then I’d consider a method of sleep training. Try not to panic about work. It may likely change of its own accord in a couple of weeks.

You say you give her the teddy back? Does she have it to fall asleep and then you take it away or it falls out of reach? If something has changed in her environment that’ll be enough to wake her (it may not be that but a change in her environment will be enough to wake her). If my LO looses his main sleep association which is his dummy he screams until he gets it back - he now goes to bed with 5!

It's the 8 months sleep regression. It's the toughest stage. It gets better again after a few weeks/months I promise!! Hang in there OP and try to go to bed as early in the evening as you can yourself