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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu 6.20am train for a meeting

432 replies

Chantholtmouse · 29/07/2023 18:10

Is it unreasonable of my workplace to expect me to get a 6.20am train to attend work meetings and training 300 miles away? I absolutely don't mind attending but a 6.20am train seems unreasonable. It's the only one that would get me there in time. I'd have to be up at 4.45am to quickly shower, dress, walk the dog around the block (I also have to find someone to pick him up) and drive to the train station which isn't that close.

It's then 3 full days of meetings and training which I'll be shattered for. I'll get a bit of time back but it still seems a big ask. There's no option for paid accomodation to stay the night before.

Aibu?

OP posts:
SouthernLassies · 31/07/2023 07:45

Molehillminnie · 31/07/2023 07:39

So many people here willing to excuse
poor practice and employers taking the proverbial. They don’t own you! Travel time has long been a paid for part of working life. If you want to do that, then fine. Personally I’d have a bit more self respect.

Travel time has long been a paid for part of working life.

Try saying that to your boss in a private company!

It doesn't and isn't in many jobs. My DH flew all over the world, at unsocial hours, including leaving on Sundays for Monday meetings, or arriving back in the UK at 11pm.

No extra money paid.

Senior roles are not 'paid by the hour' and international or UK travel is part of the job.

RH1234 · 31/07/2023 07:48

I regularly leave at 430am-5am 3 times a week, returning home at 6-7pm.

One early morning, followed by two hotel nights and potentially one late night home, you will survive.

You say being tired for 3 days, your not commuting the journey for the whole course.

Marmalade71 · 31/07/2023 07:54

I think sadly this is just one of those things - not ideal but not terrible. I think you're being a bit of a drama llama about the lack of sleep as if you're that tired you'll catch up a bit on the train. BUT I think your underlying frustration is more about this training having a big impact on your personal life and you feel the job doesn't really pay enough to justify that kind of impact. If that makes you reassess your role and look for something which is better paid, that's not unreasonable at all.

EarringsandLipstick · 31/07/2023 08:13

Molehillminnie · 31/07/2023 07:39

So many people here willing to excuse
poor practice and employers taking the proverbial. They don’t own you! Travel time has long been a paid for part of working life. If you want to do that, then fine. Personally I’d have a bit more self respect.

Travel time is decidedly not paid in many roles - no role I've ever had took travel time into consideration, beyond flights abroad & even then it was limited.

What does happen, and is happening with OP, is that it is included during the working day ie her first meeting isn't until 10, so part of the working day is allocated to travel.

EarringsandLipstick · 31/07/2023 08:14

Try saying that to your boss in a private company!

And public sector!

EarringsandLipstick · 31/07/2023 08:14

Why have you not taken a day off in years OP? Do you not have annual leave?

WandaWonder · 31/07/2023 08:15

a one off no problems every week no way unless actually part of your job and knew from the start

RoseBucket · 31/07/2023 08:22

I often have to drive 3 hours for a meeting and then back again for another 3 hours leaving early doors and older than you. It’s 3 days and you have a hotel for the bulk of it!

MsMcG · 31/07/2023 08:29

I personally wouldn't do it unless I was fully compensated for my extra time and extra costs including dog care. Nothing should come out of your pocket for this, particularly as it's going to be 2-3 times a year!

I work in London 3 or 4 times a year, and have to commute from a rural town in the North West with no train station, so would have to be up at 4am to get to London in time and be back at 11pm. My company pays for a hotel for the night before, and all associated costs, and time spent away accrues time off in lieu. I think this is fair, and I'm happy to be flexible as they are.

EarringsandLipstick · 31/07/2023 08:32

MsMcG · 31/07/2023 08:29

I personally wouldn't do it unless I was fully compensated for my extra time and extra costs including dog care. Nothing should come out of your pocket for this, particularly as it's going to be 2-3 times a year!

I work in London 3 or 4 times a year, and have to commute from a rural town in the North West with no train station, so would have to be up at 4am to get to London in time and be back at 11pm. My company pays for a hotel for the night before, and all associated costs, and time spent away accrues time off in lieu. I think this is fair, and I'm happy to be flexible as they are.

Your company would pay for your dog care?!

You must work for an exceptional employer. I'm a single parent. At a certain point each year I need to travel for academic conferences. The childcare costs & arrangements are really stressful & have been expensive. Of course they are neither my employer's responsibility or expense!

MsMcG · 31/07/2023 08:46

@EarringsandLipstick I've never asked them as I don't have a dog, but I think they probably would 😂

They're very respectful of the fact that employees have lives outside of work, and anything that eats into that is negotiated on fair terms. I think all employers should be that way, but I do appreciate that they're not.

EarringsandLipstick · 31/07/2023 08:57

@MsMcG

But that's nuts!

It's reasonable for an employer to take account if travel time & costs incurred - mileage, train fares, subsistence, provide hotel accommodation and so on.

OP is being asked to take an early train - that's at a normal commuting time for many people. Her employer is not unreasonable not to pay for accommodation the night before - and if they did, would OP be happy to spend her evening travelling there?

It isn't practicable for an employer to pay for lifestyle costs like childcare or dog care - where would it stop? Child free or pet free employees might argue they are missing out on a benefit, or those with family care might say they should get money anyway ... it can be tough, but it's life!

Lavender14 · 31/07/2023 09:03

Can you do home from home dog boarding (or a willing friend) and get doggo looked after from the night before so you can just get up and go rather than having to walk them and get them collected? That would cut down your early morning. It's annoying but I think it's one of those things unfortunately. I wouldn't expect a training day to start at 11 when they'll have an agenda to cover. Just sleep on the train and get an early one that night in your hotel.

threatmatrix · 31/07/2023 14:25

Did this for years, it was part of the job so I just got on with it.

Macaronichee · 31/07/2023 15:30

Sounds like an average day for many commuters. As for not earning enough to get up that early on one occasion, who do you think cleaned the train that you’re travelling on?

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 31/07/2023 21:15

Wouldn’t it cost you more for doggy care, if you stayed the extra nights?
As a one off, I’d just do it, tbh. But they should be paying travel time, if you are being expected to travel away from your contracted place of work.

schnausages · 31/07/2023 21:27

As an occasional thing in a senior, well paid job, I would say it's to be expected. Stuff like that comes with the territory when you're being adequately recompensed for it. For 30k a year, it's a bit much to ask imo

Lifeisapeach · 31/07/2023 22:08

That’s an early start but totally manageable. (I do a similar commute twice monthly meaning I have to leave at 5:30 to be there for 9:30am). Knackered by 4pm but it is what it is and I knew this before I took the job.

for those that ask if this travel is in your contact, I really doubt those people would go far if they can’t be flexible around some beneficial training.

who cares for your dog when you work in your local office?

Notamum12345577 · 31/07/2023 22:32

Tessabelle74 · 29/07/2023 19:05

My husband is a nurse and leaves the house that time for an early shift. Stop being ridiculous 🙄

I used to leave at 05:10, but I don’t think that is the OPs point. It’s the distance more, will leave her out of pocket, and isn’t getting any extra pay for it

MamskiBell · 31/07/2023 22:45

Could you drive and claim mileage/parking costs instead? Would that make it quicker and more doable. It may be cheaper than train tickets too.

Jules198711 · 31/07/2023 22:51

My working hours are 7am-7.30pm so I leave the house just after 6 and don't get home until 8pm. Many people need to leave at 6am for work. I think its reasonable especially since I'm assuming they'll be paying your accommodation the other nights you are there?

Jobalob · 31/07/2023 22:55

Completely reasonable as a one off. It’s not that early

Wigglewigglewitch · 31/07/2023 22:59

It seems fine to me but I work for an international charity and people are forever travelling all over the place at unreasonable times (not me if I can help it!) however in your circumstances we’d be offered accommodation the night before, in fact it would probably be insisted upon because they love a team dinner! If you can, I’d make the case for the cost of hotel being offset by a cheaper ticket - for me, it could be an £80 difference going to London peak or off peak

Wigglewigglewitch · 31/07/2023 23:13

I’ve never been paid travel time, but in the charity sector it’s normal to get toil for it.

Hawkins009 · 31/07/2023 23:27

All the best op