All old people should sell up family homes for families.

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Not really an AIBU, more a hypothetical question really. This view comes up a lot on MN, and I'm interested in the detail of what people actually imagine when they say it. What type of property should they be giving up? What type of property should they be moving to? How old is old? What about younger people who under occupy a property? For example 2 friend couples, have recently downsized. Both from a 4 bed detached, one to a 4 bed semi, and the other to a 3 bed semi. Their homes were bought, one by a young professional couple, and the other by a couple in their seventies, themselves downsizing. If you hold this view what do you visualise?

There's a big retirement place just opened near us. The two beds are twice the price of a two bed bungalow round here. Even with facilities onsite they just are not worth the price. It's NOT a care home (thats next door and a separate facility). There is a retirement village with caravans nearby too which is cheaper and very luxurious and onsite call support. It boggles my mind who would buy at the new place.

I'd love to get a bungalow but where I live they are fast disappearing, not by being built on but by being pulled down and either one large mansion or several smaller houses built in their place.
I'm not quite ready for McCarthy and Stone yet which is the only option.

My parents talked about selling the family home and downsizing a few years ago. I didn't say anything because it's none of my business but I did feel sad about them selling.
They didn't in the end as they couldn't find a smaller property they liked. Think they are glad they didn't now as they like having space for family and friends, they like having the space to do hobbies and they worked hard to afford to buy the house and don't see why they should sell before they are ready.
I personally don't think it will be sold until they both die and really don't understand the thinking that they should downsize. Doesn't matter if they have extra bedrooms or not they paid for the house and there's a lot of good memories there.

Unless you want to overthrow capitalism and establish a new socialist utopia, the only possible answer is that each individual or couple gets to choose for themselves and there isn't a "should".

In my family and DPs and both for our immediate parents and for our grandparents, in each case they have generally made a decision to downsize when reaching late 70s/early 80s. Not due to any sense of social obligation to vacate larger homes but choosing the size of home that suits them. Larger homes are of course more difficult to run and keep clean and well maintained.

Meanwhile I am in my late 40s, DC in teens, and can't yet afford a house that's big enough to be comfortable in. If the opportunity arises to upgrade to a larger home once DC in adulthood and we no longer need to be near good schools and can release that location premium that would be brilliant. If a couple with adult DC want to be able to have a bedroom each due to snoring/medical issues, and a study or craft studio for their work each, and a guest room, then a 5 bedroom house is a minimum. Obviously not everyone can afford that but in a free country those that can afford it will have the right to it.

Any legislation should be to mandate house building to keep up with demand, not restricting who is allowed to choose their own home.

I will pass our 4 bed to my son once I'm gone... isn't that the point of having houses?

He can sell if he wants too that's his choice

Absolutely they forget that many lost their houses whilst vast areas were effectivly closed down for work when entire industrys Were closed like the pits and steelworks.

Obviously not everyone can afford that but in a free country those that can afford it will have the right to it.

This is the crux of the matter, not all the blethering about what people ‘should’ do or who’s worked the hardest and therefore ‘deserves’ whatever advantage they have.

Money buys advantage. It buys bigger homes in better locations, it buys better education, better healthcare. It buys a better life. the uk is an increasingly unequal society and one of the greatest - and increasing- lines of inequality is intergenerational wealth. Older generations have benefited from situations that no longer exist - and they are, by and large, richer as a result and can buy more advantage than younger people.

FIL was a postman. But in the 1970s with 2 young children and a wife that didn’t work outside the home, he was able to buy a three-bed semi in a really good part of a major city, with zero parental help. There is no way that a young person in such a low paying job could do that nowadays - and that’s what feels unfair.

The UK is also a thoroughly capitalist, market driven economy. Money buys advantage. That’s the bottom line.

I don’t understand why the focus is on old people selling their homes.

1- most of the houses from elderly people will go back into the market eventually, in most cases their kids will sell for inheritance purposes or to afford care bills.

2- Elderly people downgrading to starter homes (smaller houses) won’t help the market. Most young people struggle to find suitable starter homes and most definitely cannot afford a 4 or 5 bedroom house. I know very few people who could go from renting to owning a 5 bedroom house right away so what it would likely do is increase the competition for starter homes while still leaving most people unable to afford a big home.

3- Not everybody can downgrade. I just bought a 3-bedroom place (I am solo), do I need the 3-double bedrooms? No. But in the city I bought in, studios or 1-bedroom flat, simply aren’t a thing and are likely to have costed me just about the same as buying a 3-bedroom. So why should I pay more for less? Most options were I bought where 3 bedrooms (or 2 if you really want to be on the sea front or core of the city center) but I personally favored the space over being crammed into a tiny flat and it was cheaper to leave in the area where 3-bedrooms are common than by the proper sea front where most flats are tinier.

4- We live in a generation that’s less likely to have kids or as many kids. Why should people with no kids or single (or the elderly) be prejudiced against for wanting space. I think single people already pay a lot more than others in many ways due to not having a second salary to contend with; not having the tax reliefs that can come with being married and due to double occupancy rules in many holiday complex etc…
having kids is a choice. I am one of 5 and for the longest time we lived in a tiny apartment and shared bedrooms, now my parents have a 4/5 -bedroom house and now most of us are adults so technically they don’t need the space but I know they will keep it because similarly there is no small houses really where they live and moving back to the city would be just too expensive (not financially viable).

5- ultimately having kids is a choice. I think people should have as many kids as fit in their home based on the quality of life they want to provide them. Currently people have as many kids as they want and then complain they can’t provide them with the lifestyle they want for them or with the lifestyle their own parents could provide them with. I agree the housing situation is completely dire and needs to be a lot better and sustainable, but I think if parents adapted the number of kids to what they can actually afford to provide vs not, the situation might not seem as dire.

I have little sympathy for people who have 3+ kids and then complain they don’t have enough space.

Exactly this. And as a few posters upthread have said, you couldn't pay me enough money to move into one of those 'retirement villages.' I'd rather shit in my hands and clap, stick pins in my eyes, and drink bleach than go into a retirement village. Or any kind of situation where I was living with lots of randoms that I don't know from Adam. I'd rather live on my own, to be honest.

I mean I'd rather be with DH! But I would rather live on my own than in a retirement village IYSWIM!

I do actually agree with this. Just down the road from me, there's a row of ten 2-bed bungalows, (five sets of semis...) 5 of these bungalows belong to a Housing Association. 2 of these 5 have just recently been let (late Winter and Spring this year.)

The Housing Association has let one a couple and with one 13 y.o. child and one to a couple with 2 children. (2 boys aged 7 and 9.) A family of 3 in one and a family of 4 in the other... 2 bed bungalows made for the over 55s originally when they were built by the housing association in the 1990s. (5 bought on the right to buy.)

The 5 people that own them are actually fuming. Signed up to live next to and around older people, and now they have these 2 these families. There's 3 kids and probably about seven or eight friends who come around, playing all the time at the front, kicking balls onto the flowers, kicking balls into the driveway, and their dogs are running onto the garden, shitting on the drive. Quite anti social behaviour to be honest.

There's no way in hell a family with one or two kids should be living in a two bed bungalow. They should be allowed only for people only over 55. And yeah that includes sale. Never gonna happen though.

Well said. This is exactly what I was thinking.

My mum used to rant about all the old people ‘hogging’ family homes when I was a kid. Now she is in her sixties and lives in a large four bed. She has discovered downsizing is not as easy as she thought. There are actually not that many one or two bedroom housing options unless you live in a flat in a city.

I think there are two defined threads to the argument. Social and private housing. Where people occupy private housing, they fully fund it and should have absolute agency. Questions arise relating to social housing where people are fully funded and have less agency.

There's no way in hell a family with one or two kids should be living in a two bed bungalow. They should be allowed only for people only over 55. And yeah that includes sale. Never gonna happen though.

So you want the freedom to do whatever you please with your own money and assets (fair enough) but think that families should be legally prevented from buying something you might want? 🙄🙄🙄

If you're time-limited in how long you're allowed to live in a house, surely that should affect the price. We pay a lot of money with the assumption that the house is ours and we can stay in it as long as we want. Why pay that price if you can only stay in it for a decade or two? The house is never really yours then is it - you're kind of renting it from the state, the ultimate landlord who can kick you out.

How old? I'm wondering about where families move back in with parents after divorce. How long do they get to offer support to adult children. Or where teens move into their grandparents to attend college or escape a challenging relationship with a parent.

What if they have a lodger who would otherwise be homeless.

Also my friend and her husband moved into a lovely three bedroom home with the plan of starting a family. Unfortunately she's infertile and can't have children. After much pondering she's decided to stay in the house and has converted one room into a lovely guest bedroom and the second room into a office/dressing room. What do you want to happen? The house buying police that come knocking on her door demanding she has to move into a bedsit for the rest of her life because she can't reproduce.

On the other hand, my colleague has just bought a two bedroom bungalow with his wife and is currently converting it into a huge four bedroom family home. So take from that what you will...

This train of thought irritates the shit out of me.
I'm late 50's been working full time for 40+ years, scrimped and saved to buy my house, bought dd up alone but it's like the fairies came down one night and gifted me my house with no input from me.
I live in a three bedroom house, one bedroom I sleep in, a spare bedroom and the little bedroom is now my dressing room, a place of peace for me to store my treasure 😉 that I longed to have my whole adult life.
I also have a garden that I treasure and work hard on its upkeep.
I'm still working full time but as I get older I'm expected to downsize to a flat so someone I don't even know can have my house, fuck that.
This house is the culmination of a lifetime's hard work by me, no-one else

If all the older people put their houses up for sale some of the younger generation would be moaning that they can't afford them (there are already threads wailing "I can't compete" etc) and the 'greedy' older folk would no doubt be expected to slash the asking price.
I feel for the younger generation in general but they don't appreciate that of course older people are more wealthy including house wealth because they have had years to build it. The younger generations should concentrate on what they can achieve rather than what they can't.
Some show pretty spoiled whinging behaviour on these threads though making ridiculous suggestions and I don't have any sympathy with those.

What I imagine is going to happen is that the older generation will have no choice, either they will have to let their children live within or if they don't fancy that they will have to downsize and give money to their kids so they can buy somewhere to live. As for council houses, once the children leave home they should be forced to give up their house.

Exactly. It's not thought through. When we bought our house it had been on for a couple of months - four bed detached - and there was no other interest. Ironically we bought it from a young-ish couple who had three children. It's the cumulation of our life's work - we downshifted from a huge garden to a smaller one. But the main reason for the move was to be nearer our grandchild - who we do childcare for a couple of times a week.

So win/win - he has his own bedroom, I have a dressing room, my husband has a hobby room. We are nearer shops and public transport. I have no intention of downshifting until I literally can't get on that bus any longer - I would have a stairlift and fit another shower downstairs before I would give up my beautiful home. Last time I looked we live in a free society with individual autonomy and choice.

Oh the irony of saying I only think of myself 😂

Part of me does fancy the idea of selling our three bed semi and moving to a flat on the water front with a sea view and balcony (that’s the only sort of flat I could contemplate living in) but OTOH we love the area we’re in, we have good friends here, there is a sense of community and a short walk from shops, pubs, coffee shops, bus stop…..