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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of dour, po-faced, humourless idealogues?

75 replies

ForestGoblin · 27/07/2023 10:55

Was it always like this? You go to a hen do or whatever and someone starts ranting about Their Beliefs (JK Rowling/ climate change/ Brexit/ whatever) and even if you happen to agree with on the substance them it feels like a massive lecturey downer when all you want is some light socialising. It's so rude to expect people to just sit under a mudslide of your views. No one thinks the same on every single "issue of the day" so are we all to just live in purist isolation?

I don't care what you think, Hayley! You sulky old bruiser with your "witty "political t-shirts and flat your mum bought for you at 40 and your complete abstraction from the real world.

And half the time their views change on a dime anyway and they can't remember what they thought last week but they sure as heck think the opposite now with sullen conviction.

OP posts:
Original poster
ForestGoblin · 27/07/2023 12:36

whatsappdoc · 27/07/2023 12:35

I feel that the people I hear giving opinions are not what they themselves have thought about but what's current on social media and sounds plausible or edgy. I don't get involved, I prefer talking about kettles (see above post).

For sure, there's a strong whiff of "look how good I am, I am in with the cool crowd!" about it all.

OP posts:
Ventureintheslipstream · 27/07/2023 12:38

I think its becoming a radical notion that you can have an opinion and keep it to yourself. I blame twitter.

Adults who wear t-shirts or necklaces loudly proclaiming their opinions have not progressed much beyond teen-hood.

continentallentil · 27/07/2023 12:41

Ummm

Herejusttocomment · 27/07/2023 12:54

If they're not your kind of people, stop hanging out with them.
If they happen to be in Northumberland, I'll take them😊. I don't enjoy small talk mainly cause I'm so bad at it and I'm socially awkward but I do miss discussing more serious issues face to face with people.

Different strokes for different folks, I'm sure there are plenty of your kind of people out there.

Original poster
ForestGoblin · 27/07/2023 12:56

Herejusttocomment · 27/07/2023 12:54

If they're not your kind of people, stop hanging out with them.
If they happen to be in Northumberland, I'll take them😊. I don't enjoy small talk mainly cause I'm so bad at it and I'm socially awkward but I do miss discussing more serious issues face to face with people.

Different strokes for different folks, I'm sure there are plenty of your kind of people out there.

The point is you can't avoid them because they pop up everywhere. It isnt some lauded higher tier of being - it's selfish and baf conversation.

OP posts:
Original poster
ForestGoblin · 27/07/2023 12:57

Ventureintheslipstream · 27/07/2023 12:38

I think its becoming a radical notion that you can have an opinion and keep it to yourself. I blame twitter.

Adults who wear t-shirts or necklaces loudly proclaiming their opinions have not progressed much beyond teen-hood.

Upvoted!

OP posts:
Heurgh · 27/07/2023 12:58

You need to find Saturday Night Live's Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation With At a Party clips on YouTube...

smilesup · 27/07/2023 12:58

Nuca · 27/07/2023 11:20

What kind of hen dos have you been going to!? Somehow it sounds even worse than the one recently where an op said she was licking cream off a strippers knob

😂

mrschocolatte · 27/07/2023 12:59

“Adults who wear t-shirts or necklaces loudly proclaiming their opinions have not progressed much beyond teen-hood.”

Choose life. Best tee slogan ever. Would still wear it now at 52. George Michael wore it the best though.

frumpalertt · 27/07/2023 12:59

Seems like we have two equally unattractive choices, being a dour, po-faced, humourless idealogue or being a dour, po-faced, humourless moaner about dour, po-faced, humourless idealogues. 😂

Herejusttocomment · 27/07/2023 13:01

ForestGoblin · 27/07/2023 12:56

The point is you can't avoid them because they pop up everywhere. It isnt some lauded higher tier of being - it's selfish and baf conversation.

Show quote history

Do they?
Why haven't Iet one yet, then? What am I doing wrong?

Maybe it's your perception? 🤔

Herejusttocomment · 27/07/2023 13:02

Dang, met not let 😂

Herejusttocomment · 27/07/2023 13:05

frumpalertt · 27/07/2023 12:59

Seems like we have two equally unattractive choices, being a dour, po-faced, humourless idealogue or being a dour, po-faced, humourless moaner about dour, po-faced, humourless idealogues. 😂

😂😂😂

Grendalsmum · 27/07/2023 13:10

I've got one of these - l'm really very fond of them but they have opinions (vanilla, obvious, mainstream, rather Daily Mail-ish opinions) about absolutely everything under the sun and they switch into pontificate-mode at the drop of a hat and then maunder on for hours and you can't get a word in. It wouldn't be as bad if they were insisting that birds were imaginary or the Queen was a lizard but it's just so bland!

SummerDawn2000 · 27/07/2023 13:15

Stop being a fucking Hayley has a nice ring to it
(I admit I can be a Hayley!!). Your Hayley sounds awful.

DaysofRain · 27/07/2023 13:15

Anyone else intrigued as to which Robert Dyas kettle @LadyOfTheCanyon 's inlaws were discussing?😂Looking for a new kettle!

<runs away from thread>

I work in a University and this type of talk is just office chit chat. 10 years ago there were lots of competing ideas but everyone just spouts the party line these days. Just at different volumes and intensities.

Yorkshirelass04 · 27/07/2023 13:18

Tell me more about Hayley.

Do they wear Lucy and yak dungarees and eccentric earrings?

smilesup · 27/07/2023 13:22

whatsappdoc · 27/07/2023 12:35

I feel that the people I hear giving opinions are not what they themselves have thought about but what's current on social media and sounds plausible or edgy. I don't get involved, I prefer talking about kettles (see above post).

You lost me at kettles. I hate both extremes people that are unable to talk about anything other than politics and ram a viewpoint down your throat but also people that just talk about dry shit all the time like what they eat for dinner, or something dull (like kettles). Give me a heady mix of culture, politics, travel, gossip, random thoughts, personal dilemmas etc All whilst dancing and drinking tequila slammers. It being a hen do

trebarwith1 · 27/07/2023 13:27

My friends and I love discussing disastrous dates, our kids, our families and the latest stuff on Netflix. Kettles too ha! But we also discuss politics and climate change a fair bit.

I love a serious convo sometimes, and that stuff is important.

Can't understand the don't talk about politics or religion thing, why not? Just be mindful and respect others opinions.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 27/07/2023 13:32

@DaysofRain

www.robertdyas.co.uk/russell-hobbs-26052-honeycomb-1-7l-cordless-3000w-electric-jug-kettle-cream

Here you go. It's a perfectly nice kettle. I have a similar one myself.

The main discussion (and when I say 'discussion' I mean my MIL repeatedly asking me if she was likely to burn her arm in the steam from the spout if she were to fill it up while it was still hot / I mean: possibly? But you'd have to be an idiot), was about whether it's acceptable to buy a new kettle BEFORE your existing one has stopped working.

The mental exercise was moot anyway as the whole 'mad idea' was shut down by my extremely parsimonious FIL who controls the purse strings.

Backtothe90splease · 27/07/2023 13:36

Goodness me I thought the kettle was going to be a bit more interesting. I fancy one of the WiFi controlled ones where you choose a temperature but I am not sure whether they are just gimmicky.

CoffeeCantata · 27/07/2023 13:38

Totally agree, OP.

I run away from anyone who bothers me with their political views, or judges me openly.

St Francis of Assissi said 'Preach always, and only sometimes use your voice'.

He meant: live by your principles and set an example but shut up about it!!!!

Mutinyonthecrunchie · 27/07/2023 13:55

A lot of people talkout of their arses anyway. Best ignored when they bang on about trival shit ie woke and the 't' subject. If that makes me a bigot then I'm fine with that.

Devonshiregal · 27/07/2023 14:01

Yes! I said this the other day when I saw some guy wearing a “appearance doesn’t equal pronouns” T-shirt yet he kept (repeatedly) calling his toddler son “good boy”, “he/his/him”.

I was just like so why are you inflicting pronouns on your son based on the fact he has a penis (“appearance”)? How bloody contradictory and just please can we stop pushing things ALL the time. Like just go to the park with your kid without making a t-shit-political statement to the other 3 parents there.

if you’re at a march/rally or promoting something fine, you’re in that arena. But this guy is just promoting his own opinions like everyone else is a bigot if they don’t agree. Almost like garlic to a vampire - don’t come near me if you don’t agree with what I think.

ShimmyingThroughTheChaos · 27/07/2023 14:14

MasterGland · 27/07/2023 11:28

We are in the grip of a crisis of meaning and many people are flip-flopping from one flimsy ideology to another, desperate for something to latch on to. I've definitely noticed it. I find it interesting, but also quite a sad reflection on where we find ourselves as a society.

Exactly this.